Why Women Leave Men (WRMTH)

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to yet another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. On this one, we are going to talk about the all-important element of warmth. That's right, warmth when you're speaking to women. I hear two complaints from my girlfriends, and my girlfriends are really hot. They're out in the dating scene. The first complaint is that guys are too nice, right?

0:36 They have no backbone. They're spineless. They have no frame, as I often talk about. And that's often the biggest complaint from women is that there's just too many kiss-asses out there, and it's just unattractive. It's literally as disgusting as if you're talking to a girl, and she just gains like 800 pounds directly in front of you. Immediately, she just changes into an obese woman. That's what happens when you don't demonstrate frame, when you have nice guy tendencies, most of which I discuss on this podcast, but all of which, of course, I teach in my three-month coaching program.

1:10 And the second most unattractive thing is that a guy has too much game. He's too much of a player. He teases too much. He busts her chops too much, and he's not real, and he lacks warmth. Warmth comes from empathy. Warmth comes from the ability to listen. Warmth comes from that right combination of being a dude who's down-to-earth, who's compassionate, who has her best interest in mind and isn't just trying to have sex with her because she's hot, who's actually interested in her as a person.

1:38 Now, most guys have this, right? Most guys are able to go in and build rapport, build commonalities, empathize with her, wrinkle his eyebrows, and purse his lips when she's talking about something that's really emotional for her, and they come off as the nice guy, and many times they get put in the friend zone. So the real problem with most women is that they can't find the dude who has both, the dude who can lead her to where she wants to be led, the dude who is in control but not controlling, has a strong frame, is not to be fucked with, is willing to break rapport with her, is cocky funny, and teases her and builds that all-important sexual tension within her, which I spoke about last Monday, and also has the ability to listen to her, empathize with her, build trust and connection with her, and be that dude who's the solid rock who she can count on but yet still confess her feelings to where she knows that she'll be listened to.

2:35 So it's a really delicate mixture, and I'm telling you, this is so unbelievably rare that you boys from the Unapologetic Man Army, if you can master this dichotomy, if you can master this perfect mixture of how to deliver both that cocky funny frame, not to be fucked with, with empathy, rapport, trust, and connection, oh my god, this girl will want to marry you. It's like straight up, this girl will want to marry you. Many of my guys who have been through my program, they get chased by women, women want to marry them, they just have a line of chicks out their door because this is so unbelievably rare.

3:10 What's rare for us as men is to have a girl who's really hot but also has a really good personality, can laugh, you can have intellectual conversations with. For women, it's difficult to find a guy who has this dichotomy. So we're going to talk about the other side of this dichotomy, which is warmth, trust, and connection, and how to do that. Whereas most of my episodes are about being that dude who's not to be fucked with, being that dude who's willing to break rapport, build sexual tension, lead her to where she wants to be led, and be that rock of Gibraltar that no matter how many emotions she has, you are imperturbable, you are unmoved, you are ensconced in who you really are as a man.

3:48 All right, boys, before we jump into the content, I always ask you guys for two things. What are the two things I always ask you guys? The first thing is, come join my fucking coaching program. The second thing is reviews. Reviews, reviews, reviews. They help me grow this thing. They help other people find it, and they've been absolutely spectacular over the years. I have a 4.8 out of 5 on iTunes, at least the American iTunes, and that's so unbelievably rare with a topic like this one where there's so many haters out there that if you even mention that you're helping guys become more attractive to women, people get butthurt and think that we're manipulating them, so they just automatically write me a bad review.

4:27 So to have such a high rating, I do owe it to you guys who've done that for me. I really do appreciate it, and if you too find value in my podcast, if you've listened to several episodes and you think that I give a lot more than what I ask for in return, and those two things I ask for are simply, come get a free session with us where we can analyze to see if you're a good fit for my three-month coaching program, and please leave me a review.

4:49 I've published thousands of hours of what I feel is really high-quality content, so if you're sitting there like, hey, I want to do something for Mark, if you're not going to come join my program, that's literally the best thing you can do for me, which is leave me a review. If you do so, I will personally make you, I will make this for you myself, a World War II dogfight diorama where a German Messerschmitt BF-109 is crashing into an Italian countryside with a P-51D Mustang flying victoriously above with your name emblazoned on the side.

5:21 If you understood any of that, you're a fucking champion, and you're like me, a World War II buff, which a lot of people are, surprisingly. A lot of people know a lot about World War II. Some people don't care, but I find it extremely interesting. P-51D Mustang, so sick, but here's the thing. We think it's the Cadillac of the sky, right? We think it's the all-American World War II plane. It actually had a British engine inside of it. It had a Rolls-Royce engine inside of it, so just as a testament to the camaraderie, the partnership, the brotherhood of both America and Britain to beat Nazi Germany, and I think that's pretty fucking cool.

5:51 So again, guys, if you leave me a review, I will make that for you personally. I will send it to you in the mail, and you can floss it proudly on your desk, your World War II dogfight diorama. I saw a video the other day of a guy making that. I'm like, what the hell is a diorama in this dude? You should check it out on YouTube. He makes these like scenes, right, of like these models crashing, and then there's like smoke coming out of it, and he makes the smoke out of cotton, and inside he has like LED lights, and I was like, damn, bro, going hard on the diorama.

6:21 So I was like, yeah, I'll make one of those for you if you leave me a review. Okay, boys, we're going to talk about warmth today. You need to be a little warmer. Well, most of you guys are a little too warm, and this puts you in the friend zone, but for you who are, this is natural for you. You know how to build rapport. You know how to be likable, and be agreeable, and make the woman feel like she's listened to. Usually the biggest problem, as I alluded to earlier, is that you're not mysterious enough.

6:47 You're not challenging enough. You don't build sexual tension. You don't lead the frame. You're agreeable. You're building rapport, and you're not putting that friction into the conversation, that sexual friction. You want a little bit of tension in there to get her attracted to you, but at the same time, we can err on the side of being too much, and this happens to so many guys who come through this kind of coaching. They just have game, and then women see that as a red flag. I've been told many times in my younger years when I was first training as a quote-unquote pickup artist that I made red flags blaze off in the minds of women because it's almost like I had too much game.

7:25 A lot of girls told me when I first met you, that first date, that first conversation, I knew you were just going to fuck me and leave me. I was attracted to you, and I couldn't help that sense of attraction, which is what women say, but I didn't feel confident that you were going to stick around. Now, to make a woman sleep with you, she has to feel like you're going to stick around for more than just a one-night stand, unless, of course, that's what she wants to do.

7:51 So, most women won't have sex with you until you've built a certain level of trust and connection, and on average, and this has been true from my own studies, but they've also studied this scientifically. Most women need to spend about eight to 12, maybe 16 hours with you, depending on the girl, before she'll have sex with you. So, we have to build that trust and connection, and on the first date, you want to have about 80% of the attraction-building stuff, okay? All the stuff I've talked about throughout my podcast, but more importantly, in my three-month coaching program, where you're building that attraction, right?

8:25 Storytelling, gambits, push-pull, cold reading, qualifying, all that stuff, where you're getting her attracted to, you want that to be about 80%. So, what's the percent that you want to be warm and build a connection? Come on, bro. I know you can do math. You can do it. That's right. You're a smart motherfucker, 20%. Okay? So, on the first date in first conversation, it's 80% fucking around, busting her chops, building attraction, teasing her, sexual tension, qualifying her, et cetera, and then 20% being real, in air quotes, okay? Being real. Now, warmth is an element of being real.

9:00 Warmth basically means your ability to empathize with her, your ability to be real, as it were, and your ability to listen to her in a very present way that makes her feel like she's understood. Many times, guys go into conversations with girls, and this is even before the first date, where they're doing all the talking. They're not trying to learn about her. They know nothing about her, and then they ask for the phone number. What do you think it's like, from a woman's perspective, when she's sitting there, and you're like a clown entertaining her, telling her all these stories, gambits, doing all this interesting stuff, and then the guy is like, hey, can I get your phone number?

9:40 When you've said literally like five different things. He knows nothing about you. He's clearly not interested in you because he hasn't asked anything about you. He hasn't listened to you, hasn't built rapport with you. You've just been an audience member for his show. So, from a woman's perspective, she's like, why is he asking for my phone number? Obviously, because he thinks I'm attractive, and he wants to have sex with me. So, we really have to avoid women thinking that in order for us to get a text back, and in order for us to get a first date, and of course, in order for us to have sex with them.

10:10 So, the way we do that is we ask them questions that elicit emotions. We encourage them to tell stories, tell us about their personal life. Again, guys, 20%. Okay? This isn't a lot, but it's at least a couple of questions to be interested in her and then show warmth behind it. Okay? So, for an example, one of the questions I typically ask is, what was the best day of your life? You stare at her mouth, you wrinkle your eyebrows, and then you become this big sweetheart in her eyes.

10:40 I took that from a movie, Swingers, this movie from the 90s that I think you guys should all watch. It's really funny, and it has a lot of truths about what attracts women. But when you ask a question such as, what was the best day of your life? What inspired you to want to become that? What's your favorite thing to do? What would you do if you had no chance of failure? How would you like to help people? Do you have any desire to help people in a certain way, and how would you do that?

11:07 When you ask her that question, you don't have to have some amazing response to what she says. You don't have to try to fix her problem. Like, if she says, well, I really want to be an astronaut, you're not going to be like, well, okay, let's figure out how we can do this, because women hate it when guys try to solve their problems. All you have to do is be present and listen to her. This goes back to the episode I dropped on Thursday, how to be present.

11:33 While a woman is speaking about whatever she's talking about, I have zero thoughts. And this is an awesome time to kind of take a break from all the work that you've been doing to get her attracted to you. And yes, boys, it is work. You have to be very on the ball, and you have to be very intentional. But many times I'll ask her a question, and I'll just be present. I'll be in the present moment. I'll sometimes even feel my heart, as I talked about in that previous episode, or feel my inner energy field as she's talking.

12:01 Okay, I just did it with Marissa this morning. Marissa is exploring some different career options. So she had a phone call today with somebody who was in a different field of a career that she's looking to explore. And I asked her, dude, how'd the call go? I literally stood there, and I was just feeling my inner energy field, not like trying to ask her more questions, not trying to give her other ideas and interject into what she was saying, but simply being warm in the way that you're present.

12:29 That's the way to be warm, gentlemen. There's not like a major equation to it. How do I be warm? What do I do? Just be present. Don't try to solve their problems. Just listen. Do you understand how badly most human beings just want to be heard, just want to be understood? Do you understand that when you're raising a child, the best thing you could do for them is not think and just be present, be there with them. Most people, when they're raising a kid, the kid's playing whatever they're playing, and they're on their phone, and the kid asks them a question, and they're like, yeah, go ahead.

13:01 Oh, that's really cool. When in fact, the best way to be a parent and the best way to be warm with a woman is to be completely present, not thinking about your response, not thinking about what you're going to do after the date, or not thinking about the quickest, easiest way to get her underwear off and scheming in your head like a chess player, although I too am guilty of that sometimes. But instead, to just be there listening to her, and if it's a story about something bad that happened to her, right?

13:29 And the reason I thought of this is because I went to dinner with one of my friends, and she was telling me about how her dog died. Okay, so I listened to her, and I said, that must be really, really difficult. You know, having a dog, they say, the love for that animal is almost like the love you'd have for a kid, so I'm sorry you went through that. That's terrible. It's the ability to simply empathize with another person's suffering, but also empathize with another person's passions and what makes them tick.

13:59 So if you ask her, what's your favorite thing to do in the world? And she's like, oh, I love, I don't know, ice skating. You can ask questions that go deeper into her experience and or just listen to her completely present and be like, you know what? That seems pretty awesome. I like that you like that. In fact, it kind of makes me want to try ice skating too. That's sick, right? And she feels you understand her. And when a woman feels like you understand her desires, her aversions, her traumas, and everything else that these women are going to explain to you, she feels like you're connected to her.

14:28 And yes, boys, it's a higher chance of having sex with her. Now, of course, this episode isn't just about having sex. It's about building a real connection with somebody. Because honestly, a lot of people, and it's not just you boys, but it's everybody in society, don't know how to relate to one another, don't know how to feel compassion, empathy, to realize somebody else's suffering, walk a mile in their shoes, as the old saying goes. So when listening to the woman, when interacting with her, really be interested in her, really be interested in what it's like to walk a mile in her shoes, what it's like to be in her situation, what it would be like if your dog died too, and what she must be going through.

15:06 And you have that warmth. Now, obviously, I don't have to tell you, this is the Unapologetic Man podcast, the most of which I focus on is not to be fucked with. So you're not going to sit there crying like a little bitch and be like, oh, I'm so sorry. I just get so emotional when you tell me these stories. No, you are the rock of Gibraltar. But at the same time, she needs to feel comfortable to express things to you and come to you in a genuine way, because this is what women like to do, right?

15:31 What are women all about? Relationships. They're all about talking. They're all about interpersonal communication. So you need to be socially savvy enough to just be real, to be warm, to be cool, to be that dude who understands her. Women want to feel like you understand them. And the major problem, as I mentioned at the beginning of the show, is when you get game, you often lose this all-important element. Because throughout your whole life, for many of you, you've been the nice guy. You've been the dude who's been a floor mat, the dude who's been relegated to the friend zone prison.

16:09 Now that you've broken out and you finally feel freedom, like a fucking jailbird that gets out the window and flies elegantly across the fucking lake, you're like, dude, I'm never going to do anything remotely similar to what put me in the friend zone prison time and time again. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to be, the dude is not to be fucked with. I'm going to mess with her. I'm not going to give her too much of me. I'm going to adhere to the 80-100 rule.

16:30 And then you miss that all-important element. And I'll tell you, this is probably the biggest reason that men get divorced. The biggest reason men get cheated on is because they don't have backbone. And it too is a reason for divorce. But this, the woman feeling like she's not listened to, the woman feeling like she doesn't have a partner, a teammate, a confidant, somebody to confess her deepest desires, fears, and traumas to is the reason most dudes will lose a woman. I hear it time and time again.

16:58 It's like the dude isn't there. Like I look in his eyes and like, he's just not there. He's not listening to me. How familiar does that sound, boys? He's not listening to me. What the fuck does that mean? A lot of you guys are like, I don't even know what that means. It's what I'm talking about here. It's that ability to be warm and just be present. That's all she wants is your presence and for her to feel like she's understood. And when she tells you something to not forget it five minutes later, and this is a big problem that I have just because I have a shitty memory of an 89 year old geezer, I fucking forget the shit.

17:35 So she tells me something one day, I forget it. And then she brings it up again. I'm like, oh, what's that about? And she's like, I told you this two weeks ago. I'm like, oh my hell, here I go again. I fucking forgot. And this, by the way, kind of funny side note, I always forget females names. So the conversation will get going to a girl I've talked to before. And she'll realize I forgot her name. And I'll be like, well, I bet you don't know my name.

17:58 And they're always like Mark. And I'm like, fuck. And I'm like, hey, listen, don't take it personally. I have a shitty memory. I don't even remember my own last name half the time. So don't take it personally. Give it to me. What is it? And I have to talk my way out of it many times. But is that a good or a bad thing that I forget? Well, it's kind of both. It's kind of both, right? Because it's good that it shows I'm not like super needy and I care too much about what she thinks.

18:19 But it's kind of bad too, because it shows that I didn't really care about her and I didn't remember. So you have to have that balance. And then the next time I always make sure I remember. And I do this quick mnemonic technique. I took this memory mastery course a long time ago, and this works really well. So say you have a chick named Bridget, right? And she has a peg leg. Okay, so you got Bridget here and she's got a peg leg. So what you want to do is you want to take her name and have it remind you of something and then create a quick story in your head about what it reminds you of involving her.

18:53 So we got Bridget. She's got a peg leg. I would envision a midget with a peg leg that looks just like her dancing a little jig as she drinks some pirate beer and throws gold in the air from her pirate treasure. So that when I see this chick's face, I'll immediately remember this little imagery that I've created in my head of a midget with a peg leg. Midget or rhymes with Bridget. And now I got her name, Bridget. So that's one of the ways that I do it.

19:22 It takes some practice, but oh my hell, man, I fucking forget things all the time. And that's usually pretty bad. So the way to do it is to show her, and I've said this in a previous episode as well, a recent one, that she's kind of like the best girl that you're talking to, but she's not number one in your life. And that's the misunderstanding that many guys have, that we want to make her feel special. We want to make her feel listened to. And of course, we need to make her feel like she's the best girl that we're talking to.

19:46 But at the same time, we need to make her feel like she's not number one in our lives and we can drop her at the flip of a switch. We want her, but we don't need her. So if you want a girl, if she really is the number one girl that you're talking to, you probably wouldn't forget her name, at least not the second time, which is something I really try to prevent. And then when you're listening to her, you have that warmth behind it, that warmth that perhaps your mom has when she listens to you, right?

20:11 A mom is a great example of how you should listen to females when they talk to you because your mom loves you, man. She's your biggest fan, at least for most of you. So that when she listens to you and your dreams and your efforts and your failures, she's there completely present. She's not trying to fix your problems. She's just listening to you and she loves you unconditionally. And it's that same kind of vibe, not the loving unconditionally so much, but it's the same vibe of, I'm just here to listen to you.

20:45 I'm here to empathize with you. And the art of making someone feel listened to is simply that you can empathize and have compassion for their struggles. So again, boys, 80% on that first conversation and first date should be fucking around, building attraction. 20% should be being real and having warmth. Second date, it goes down to 70-30. 70% messing around, building attraction, sexual tension. 30% being real. Third date, 60-40. Fourth date and beyond, about 50-50. So my relationship with my woman, about 50% of it is not to be fucked with, smacking her ass, teasing her, joking around, push-pull, doing all the techniques I've taught you, fucking her like a goddamn Spartan.

21:24 And then the other 50% is that trust and connection. Not being a little bitch, but just being real with her. Just having that relationship, that partnership. We're swim buddies. I got your back if you fall out of the boat and you got mine if I fall out of the boat. It's that kind of dynamic. When you can bring that warmth in, in the right combinations that I just explained to you, into your interactions with women, oh my hell, they will fall in love with you so fast.

21:52 Because you're both the badass who's not to be fucked with, who leads her to where she wants to be led, who is in control but not controlling. But at the same time, she can talk to you and you understand her. And at the same time, you're the rock of Gibraltar that she can come to you with her problems and you're imperturbable. You're not going to cry like a little bitch, but at the same time, you're going to listen to her and empathize with her struggles. Boys, that's the right combination.

22:18 You want a girl to fall deeply, deeply in love with you, you have to have that perfect mix. And even so much as I'm talking to the girl at the supermarket for the first time and it comes time to exchange names. I'm like, hey, so what's your name? And she's like, hey, I'm Sarah. And I'm like, what's up? I'm Mark. And when I shake her hand, I'm real warm. I kind of push that energy into her. I focus on my heart perhaps as I'm looking at her in the eyes and just give her a nice warm smile.

22:43 It's those little signs of warmth that make girls feel a lot of trust and connection with you. They feel safe with you. And then at the same time, they're getting attracted to you. Attraction isn't a choice. So while they're feeling emotionally attracted to you, they'll also feel emotionally drawn to you from that warmth perspective. And then it's over. You're going to be yanking so many phone numbers and so many dates and having so many girls fall in love with you, pushing you to marry them. As I said, which happens all the time to my clients, because you have that right combination that is so unbelievably rare, gentlemen.

23:16 I cannot explain to you. Out of a thousand guys, maybe one will have this combination. And for female listeners, I literally feel sorry for you because it's difficult to find a dude who has that right ratio that so many dudes don't have. So take this under consideration, gentlemen. Once again, if you enjoy my content, both in this episode as well as my others, I'd very much appreciate a review. If and when you leave that review, preferably a five star one, and if you're able with writing behind it, email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com and I will send you that World War II diorama as well as a smack upside the head.

23:49 Three programs, Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm, and three texts to build massive attraction in women. Three videos, and I will get your name tattooed right on my butt. Gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.