Anxious? Worried? Stressed? Irritated? Depressed? THIS is The Solution

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me today. You know, these episodes don't get as many clicks as some of my episodes about how to attract women, but I'll tell you, these are, in my opinion, some of the most important things you can learn from me because this has absolutely changed my life, has made me way more peaceful, has completely eradicated my anxiety, and if you guys have been listening to me for some amount of time, you may know that I struggled mightily with panic attacks, anxiety, agoraphobia, and this is one of the main things I did to overcome it.

0:53 I haven't spoken about this yet on this podcast, so I'm really excited to share this with you because this has been an absolute fucking game changer in my life. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and label it God-tier shit. God-tier. It's the highest tier you could possibly get, and I really believe that if you practice this in your day-to-day life, your life will completely change. It's difficult. It takes practice. It takes discipline, but if you can do this for even just a few minutes a day, I'm telling you, brother, heart-to-heart, brother-to-brother, warrior-to-warrior, this is going to help you immensely.

1:28 That term God-tier, I shamelessly stole from this dude on YouTube. His name is Nico Lenard, and he rates watches. He basically rates watches. I'm really into watches, and when he talks about really good watches, he calls them God-tier, and he's from Ireland. The guy is so funny. He's got God-tier, class, meh, shite, and Hublot. I don't know if you guys know what Hublot watches are, but he says they are below the shittiest of the shittiest because they're like $10,000 plus per watch, and they basically have like Casio parts in them, and they're complete pieces of crap.

2:01 So Rolex is always on that God-tier. I dropped 16 clips on a Rollie, baby. That's what's up. But today, we're not talking about the Rollies. We're talking about getting rid of your anxiety, anxiousness, worried all the time, stressed, irritated, even depression. So the first thing I want to suggest is very simple, man. You got to lighten up, okay? You got to laugh a lot more. You got to take this shit way less seriously. When you have a lot of anxiety and stress, and you're worried and even depression, it's too much future.

2:32 And when I say too much future, you're worrying about too much of what could happen in the future. I call it a distant sense of threat. And I've worked on this within myself for decades because this has been one of the major things that I've struggled against. In fact, and this might be true for you too, it actually runs rampant in my family. My family has a lot of problems with panic attacks. My mom's side of the family, which is from Holland, they are a bunch of anxious MFers.

2:46 I'll tell you what, like, dude, relax, lighten up. Don't take this shit so seriously. Oftentimes, when you let go, things just kind of work out. And you guys may have seen that in your own lives. So that's the first philosophy I want to tell you. Like, lighten up. Don't take it so seriously. It's going to be okay. It's usually okay, wouldn't you agree? Things tend to just fall into place. If you let go and you trust and you say, listen, it's going to be fine. Things tend to fall in place.

3:20 And I think if you look back in your own life, things usually worked out for the best. Even those things that seemingly went wrong in your life, if you really think about it, there's lots of good that came out of it. My panic attacks, for example, one of the best things that ever happened to me. Why? Because it helped me find NLP. And NLP completely changed my life, as did the philosophy I'm going to share with you today. So this philosophy comes from Eckhart Tolle. You guys may have heard me talk about him.

3:46 He wrote the book, The Power of Now. And in about 28 episodes, which will be my 500th episode, I am going to record one on The Power of Now because, in my opinion, it is the most important book that's ever been written. If you do nothing else with today's episode, go get that book. You can get it on audiobook or you can get it in paperback. It's called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. And this philosophy works into what he talks about. I've kind of just put my own spin on it based on his teachings.

4:19 All right. So if you're anxious, if you're worried, if you're stressed, irritated, depressed, whatever it is, there's a feeling that's happening inside of you when you feel those emotions. Okay. So if you're stressed out about something, I don't know about you, but with me, I can feel it really in my solar plexus, which is kind of between my pecs right there where the sternum is. I can just feel this tightness, and it's this constant anxious feeling that happens, boom, right here in my chest. Some clients I've worked with feel it between their ears, feel it in their stomach, feel it in their hands.

4:51 Wherever it might be, there's either an associated feeling, or for some of you who are more visual, it could be an associated color. And even for some of you who are more hearing-based, it may be a sound like a ringing in your ears. So what we're going to do is instead of running away from the feeling, we're going to go into it. Now, I know the first thing you want to say is, dude, fuck that. I don't want to go in the feeling. That's the whole reason I'm listening to you, you idiot.

5:17 I don't want to go into this. I want to run away from it. And I get it, brother. I understand that the last thing you want to do is experience more of this, but this is the secret. And when I discovered this, it completely and utterly changed my life. And that's why this episode is so important, because what you resist persists, which means if you resist it, run away from it, say no to it, it is only going to get stronger. Your no to your anxiety, your stress, your irritation, and even your depression is only creating more of it.

5:49 And I really want to stress that. The no to it is resistance. And again, what you resist persists. Now, in that same line of wisdom, there's a saying, what you look at disappears. What you look at disappears. So when you put your attention on anything negative, what's happening is you're transmuting it into light. You're transmuting it into peace, because all it is is an energy. So energy vibrates at different frequencies. Okay, peace, love, joy, enthusiasm. Those are high vibrating energies. We can compare them to light.

6:22 Depression, worry, anxiety, fear. Those are low vibrating energies, and we can compare them to darkness. Your attention is light. Your attention is part of that love, joy, enthusiasm, high vibrating energy. And brother, your attention is very powerful. You may have heard of the law of attraction. What you focus on, you attract into your life. So we're going to use our attention to shine the light onto the darkness of anxiety, stress, irritation, and depression to transmute it into joy, peace, enthusiasm, and love. And this is one of the most important things I've ever learned.

7:01 It's completely changed my life. So I just want you to have an open mind. So going back to the feeling that I explained. When you're anxious, when you're worried, when you're stressed, which I'm sure every single one of you guys listening right now, you probably have some vibration within your body that is anxiety-based, stress-based, depression-based even. So I want you to, right now, just try to feel it. Okay? Where is it in your body? What does it feel like? Does it have a color? Does it have a sound?

7:29 Let's just explore it together. It's all we have to do is we just have to look at it just a little bit. Okay? It's not going to kill you. It's not going to take you over. Just look at it. You can do that. All right. So now you might be feeling it and you're like, dude, I don't like this. I understand, brother. It sucks. But just hold your attention on it. Now, what you're going to do is you're simply going to pay attention to it. As you pay attention to it for maybe a minute, two minutes, three minutes, however long you can do it, however long you can sustain your attention.

7:59 And this is the hard part because your attention is often being grabbed by different things, right? We're on Instagram scrolling. That is the worst thing ever to cultivate your attention. This, on the other hand, what I'm teaching you is a meditation. Meditation is the ability to focus on one thing without thinking and just focus on that one thing for as long as you can. So the feeling inside of you is actually a gift. The reason it's a gift is because it allows you to get anchored into the now.

8:28 And this goes into the philosophy, the power of now. When you're in the present moment, you dissolve all suffering because you're not thinking about the future. You're not thinking about the past. Your attention is present. And when your attention is present, no matter what else you might be doing, what you might be feeling, it dissolves that depression, anxiety, worry, and stress. So you have that feeling inside of you. Just look at it. Just pay attention to it. Feel it, okay? Don't argue against it. Don't fight it.

8:58 Don't be pissed at it. Say, you know what, dude? You're here and you're welcome to be here. I know that's a radical philosophy because your whole life you've been trying to fight it. You're like, God, why am I so worried? Why am I so anxious? And you try to run away from it, which just creates more of it. How do I know this is true? Because I've been through it personally, man. I was the most anxious, agoraphobic, panic attack-ridden motherfucker you'd ever meet. And when I started facing it like a man does, like a warrior does, I was able to overcome it.

9:28 Because it anchors you into the now, and the more you pay attention to it, the more it dissolves. Now, going into the power of now, as I'm going to talk about on that 500th episode, when you're anchored in the present moment, you feel so much peace. You feel so much joy and enthusiasm just by the fact of being, just experiencing your being, just feeling your inner energy field, looking at a beautiful sunset, seeing a beautiful woman. And instead of wanting to devour her, just admiring her and saying, my God, she's beautiful.

10:00 Without any thought, without any analysis, without any carnal desire to take her, you're just simply there, presence in the present moment. So what I call the anxiety within myself, and yeah, I still have a little bit, but I actually like it because I call it my rancor anchor. Now, I know that's really weird, but rancor is like negativity, anxiety, depression. Anchor is being anchored in the now. As I explained, I feel it in my solar plexus. So what I do all the time is I just drive along and I feel it.

10:33 Say I'm doing some change in my business, which I actually just did. I just did a big change in my business, and dude, it stresses me out. I'm not an enlightened master, and I'm guessing neither are you. So invariably, I get stress, but this is my tool to get through it, and it's actually a benefit. I actually like it because it's easy to be in the present moment because I feel it so much in my chest. I can just concentrate on that feeling while I'm doing other things.

10:58 While I'm driving down the road, I feel that anxiety within my chest, and I just sit there paying attention to it. Part of my attention is on that feeling within me, and part of my attention is on driving, looking out, my breath, and it's an anchor into the now. I also call it my now anchor or my anxiety anchor, and this has been absolutely game-changing for me because the more it's there, the easier it is for me to pay attention to it. The more I pay attention to it, the more it dissolves, and then it goes away, and what am I left with?

11:29 Peace, joy, enthusiasm, just the ability to be in the present moment. Another thing I do when I don't have a lot of stress going on, when I've focused on the rancor anchor for a long time, it's dissolved, is I just focus on my inner energy field. You can feel vibration within your hands. You can feel vibration within your feet, within your head, your entire body, and I just focus on that inner energy field, which keeps me anchored into the present moment. When you're anchored in the present moment, you cannot suffer.

12:00 Thoughts create suffering, so when you're not thinking, you have no problem. No mind, no problem, which is the core tenet of Buddhism. Buddhism is often misunderstood by a lot of people. It seems strange. It seems boring. How could a person just drop everything, not have a car, not have a home, go wear some red robe, shave your head, and meditate all day? How in the living hell can that be fulfilling? And that's what a lot of Western people think. The reason it's fulfilling is because your beingness is satisfying enough.

12:30 In fact, when you go deep into being, it's more satisfying than getting a new car, getting laid with a hot girl, taking cocaine, watching Netflix, or scrolling through Instagram. In fact, all those things I just listed, those things create suffering in the end. Now, we're getting deep into Buddhist, Zen, and Taoist concepts, but in Buddhism, they say even your happiness is dukkha, which means the opposite side of happiness is suffering. Why? Because happiness, as we conventionally know it in Western society, means situations being perceived as positive.

13:03 I'm making lots of money. I'm getting lots of girls. All these things are impermanent. So the reason why the Buddha says that your happiness is dukkha, which means suffering, is because invariably, it's going to lead to suffering. You're going to lose those girls. You're going to grow old and lose your health. You're going to die eventually and lose your money. No states are permanent except for your beingness. That's the only thing that's permanent, and if we're to extend this out into a more spiritual philosophy, your soul.

13:30 That's the only thing that's real here. Everything else is an illusion. So as you continue to look at your depression, your stress inside of you, it starts to melt away, turn into peace. You get seeded into the present moment. Once again, you're now anger, and then peace, joy, and enthusiasm come in naturally because you're not so identified with your thoughts. I want you to think about the most unhappy person you know. When you look at that person, how much do you think they're thinking about the future?

14:02 How much do you think they are resenting the past? And now I want you to think about their face. Doesn't it look like it's had a lot of suffering? Almost as if their physical body is harder and more ensconced in this reality. Now think about somebody who you may perceive to be an enlightened master. Whether you're Christian, Buddhist, or nothing at all, we can all look at elevated spiritual beings and notice that the light seems to shine through them. They have a lightness in their eyes.

14:29 Their skin looks like light is pouring out of it. It's almost as if the molecular structure of their body lessens somewhat because being is pushing through it. So that goes into this philosophy. More mind, more thinking, more stress, more depression, the more ensconced your physical form becomes because the vibration is going so slow that it creates suffering and you can literally see it on people's faces. Whereas people who, as I talked about, lighten up are in the present moment, have faith that things will turn out the right way if you just sometimes let go and, yes, let God live through you, live that energy through you, that beingness.

15:09 You are a very powerful creator. And again, getting very spiritual, I think that you are a part of God incarnated to come into this world to experience the opposite of what you truly are. And the opposite is anxiety, stress, irritation, depression. That's not what you really are. That's given to you by fear. And fear is the ego. You are given an ego in order to overcome it. So when you're in the present moment, you get back to your source. You get back to who you really are.

15:37 And those things like anxiety, worry, irritation, depression, and stress, they fucking melt away because they're illusions and they're illusions created by the mind. So once again, you have that now anchor deep inside of you if you're worried, stressed, and depressed. You have it in spades, don't you? You can feel that shittiness inside of you. Focus on it. Face it. When you're running away from a storm, the very best thing you can do is turn around and run through it and realize that it's just an illusion.

16:06 Fear is false evidence appearing real. And brother, I guarantee you, without a shadow of a doubt, that your beingness, that which you truly are, will overcome those things like anxiety, stress, irritation, and depression when you face it. So focus on it. Let it be your now anchor. Let it anchor you into the present moment. Use it as something to benefit you rather than trying to run away from it. Remember, what you resist persists. And perhaps after you listen to this episode, you're going to try it and you're going to be like, man, this is too hard.

16:39 I can't do this. Brother, just stick with it. Even five seconds a day is way better than nothing. Those five seconds will become 10 seconds, 15 seconds, 20 seconds. And actually, what's more important is the more times you do it per day. I don't always keep a continuous state of presence. I mean, I'm up to the point where I can sometimes stay present for minutes at a time. But what's most important is that you just insert this into your life consistently. Sometimes I write the kanji on my hand of now, which is Ima in Japanese.

17:11 I'll kind of just write it on my hand so that every time I see it, it reminds me to come back to the present moment. It reminds me to focus on the rancor anchor or the now anchor, which is that anxiety in my chest. And then just peace comes out of it because I'm in the present moment. I'm not thinking about the future. I'm not thinking about the past. I'm not worrying about some distant sense of threat that, let's be honest, probably isn't going to happen.

17:36 Mark Twain said, I've lived a life full of many problems and travails, most of which never happened. What does that mean? It means that he thought of them. He worried about them, but they're just illusions. So when you stop thinking so much, when you focus on that anxiety, not only does your attention dissipate it and turn it into light, but now you're not worrying so much. You're not thinking so much. So it has a dual benefit that's going to seat you into the present moment. It's going to raise your vibration.

18:04 It's going to make that light come out of your pores, almost like you're Jesus Christ in those pictures where those artists try to capture that feeling of light coming out of the present moment. If you guys are interested, I suggest you Google the name Paramahansa Yogananda. I know that's a really difficult thing to remember, but just Google Yogananda, Y-O-G-A-N-A-N-D-A, Yogananda. Just spell it out. And his name is Paramahansa Yogananda. One of those pictures was taken, I think, an hour before he was going to die, and you can see the light pouring out of this guy's eyes, the pouring out of his face.

18:43 He actually told his disciples, he's like, hey, guys, I'm going to die tomorrow night, so let's go ahead and get together. We're going to have one last meeting. And they took a picture of him, and he's just pouring out light because he was an enlightened master, and he was ready to go back to his source. And I just feel that's such a stunning example of what can be achieved when you simply get into the present moment. You can also Google Eckhart Tolle and look at his eyes.

19:07 Look at the light that's pouring out of this guy. This is the answer, boys. I have researched this shit for decades, and coming into the present moment, using those negative things as leverage, as anchors to keep you pinned into the present moment is the answer. I'm 100% convinced of it, and once again, I'm going to talk about it in depth on my 500th episode. This was pretty in-depth. I got deep down the rabbit hole. I didn't completely plan to do that, but I just let it flow through me.

19:34 I don't even feel like I'm talking sometimes. I feel like something is talking through me. So I hope that's helped you, man. Even if it's helped just one of you to overcome, especially depression, but also stress and anxiety, that's my job here, brothers. I'm here to help you guys get to the next level, and I speak from experience. I speak from very deep experience of just how powerful this really is. So I hope that's benefited you. I hope you got something out of it. I do appreciate you listening.

20:00 I know this topic isn't for everyone, but what's interesting is when I launch these, I usually get the most emails telling me how much it's affected. The person who writes me, and for that, man, I'm super thankful. Appreciate you guys so much. And you know what? Life is hard, boys. Life is hard, but it doesn't have to be that hard. You know that most of your suffering is created by your own mind. So don't believe everything you think. Don't get pulled down the current of thinking and worrying and being obsessed with this distant sense of threat because oftentimes it's just an illusion.

20:31 It's not going to happen, but what's interesting is the more you worry about it, the more you're going to make it happen because your thoughts are creative. So don't even fucking give it a second of your attention. Tell yourself, it's going to be okay. I'm going to come back into the present moment. Things will work out. They always do. And yeah, there's a higher purpose for all this. And if you trust in that higher purpose, you can live in what I call the flow. Be in the present moment.

20:54 Use your attention to focus on the now. That's where peace lies. And I hope you believe me. You are an extremely powerful creator. I do appreciate you listening, gentlemen. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays. So stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you, that's right, in the next episode. And I will see you, that's right.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.