10 Body Language Secrets to Get Girls Super Attracted to You

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. Today, we are going to skip all the blatant advertising and talk about body language secrets to get girls massively, massively, massively, massively attracted to you. Now, I've done this episode before. I believe it was Make Body Language Your Superpower. God, that was a good title.

0:39 And it was a good podcast episode, but I think that dropped probably about a year and a half ago or two years ago. So critically important to get women attracted to you, but I decided to do so today, even though it is in my anthology already. If you were to consider these 300 plus episodes in anthology, I have spoken about this. It's in there, but it warrants another episode because this shit is so damn important. And as I said in the beginning of this year with my goals podcast, I'm kind of going back to basics for the first couple months of the year to really give you guys a foundation to work off of as you become more attractive to women.

1:26 So the first few episodes concern why you shouldn't feel insecure, how to approach women, as well as setting some goals. And this one ties into that because body language is a direct result of how you feel about yourself. So the reason why women get attracted to you based on the way you hold yourself is because the way you hold yourself is indicative and reflects your inner belief systems. So if you believe that you're not enough, you are going to do little insecure body language things like having closed off body language, not standing tall, maybe laughing after those things that you say.

2:04 Having a high pitched voice that seeks rapport and or supplicates to the woman and you are going to basically telegraph via unconscious things in your body language that you are insecure. So the way you feel about yourself is directly reflected in your body language. And what's really cool is your body language also kind of reprograms your belief systems. Now, this is one of the reasons handwriting analysis actually works. I don't know if you guys knew, but I do teach handwriting analysis in my three month coaching program.

2:37 It's a way to get women attracted to you by basically analyzing their handwriting. It's a 20 to 30 minute gambit. It can even go as long as an hour to kind of get her more attracted to you by analyzing handwriting. But it begs the question, does handwriting analysis actually work? Yes, it does. That certain things about your personality can be shown in your handwriting. Because if you think about it, handwriting is an unconscious movement of muscles and it's basically representational of your personality. Because your personality, your inner belief systems affect the way you move.

3:12 Isn't that really weird? It affects the way you actually blink. It affects the way you move your head. It affects the way everything you do, including how you walk and stand and even talk. So when it comes to your personality, those things are reflected in your handwriting. But what's really cool is you can change your handwriting to go the other direction and affect your personality, just as you can change certain things about your body language to make yourself more confident. So in this episode, we're going to review the fundamental principles of how you should hold yourself, the kinds of things you can do, so that it not only telegraphs to women that you're a high value alpha male, but actually makes you feel better about yourself in the process.

3:54 Okay, so let's look at people who have really good body language. Okay, so Will Smith, I think, has excellent body language. Brad Pitt, for the most part, has good body language. Russell Crowe, especially when he played Maximus in Gladiator. Ryan Reynolds, I think, has good body language. The guy who plays Thor, I forget his name. Any of the James Bond movies, this is like really good body language. You guys know what it looks like. Okay, so basically, here are some fundamental principles of good body language.

4:21 Standing tall is always the most important thing, standing directly upright. You almost want to pretend you have a string attached to your head, and somebody's pulling up on you, and you want to stand with an erect spine, kind of pushing your chest out a little bit. This can look arrogant if you do too much of it, but it's just standing really tall, having your chest open, your shoulders back, your chin up just a little bit. What's really good, too, is to have a slight smirk on your face, almost like you're winning in life, and it's a secret.

4:51 It's a secret to how you're doing it. I always see this with guys who are really good with women, guys who are really successful monetarily, who are kicking ass in life and taking names. They always have kind of a small smirk on their face. I call it a wry smile, W-R-Y, a wry smile on their face, to telegraph that they're succeeding, and their little secret is not revealed to everybody else. It's just their own little secret, and they're kicking ass in life. So that small little smirk.

5:18 I noticed something really interesting in the eyes of very successful people that's very hard to duplicate. I think this just comes with having a lot of sexual encounters with lots of different women, having a lot of success in life. It's almost like their eyes are kind of like half closed, or like they almost look like they're a little bit stoned. Now, I've really been watching this over the past 10 to 15 years in people, because it absolutely fascinates me, and this is one thing that's kind of hard to duplicate, but think about it this way.

5:47 When you're going through life, the more under threat you are, the more scared you are, and the more anxiety you have, the more you're going to be awake, right? The more you're going to be like wide-eyed and scared. Think about a guy who's totally terrified to storm the enemy bonkers in World War I. Okay, he's got these big wide eyes. His pupils are probably dilated. He's super freaked out. Well, this also is duplicated when a man approaches a woman and he's afraid of her. I teach guys all the time, or I taught guys all the time, in field.

6:19 I don't do that anymore. I don't teach in field, per se. I teach it differently in my coaching program. But anyway, I used to go out to bars and nightclubs with guys and be like, okay, go approach that girl. Go talk to that group. Go do this. Go do that. And these guys would look like terrified, dude. It was like a cat who just got thrown onto the freeway, right? That's the kind of look they had on their face. Well, that telegraphs to women that you're basically afraid of them.

6:41 And the reason you're afraid of them is because you're under threat by what they think of you. And that obviously is really bad body language. But when a guy is really successful in life, I kind of noticed he gets this relaxed look in his eyes. Half closed isn't really the right way to say it. It's just a very relaxed, at peace kind of look in his eyes. And that's because despite what life may throw at him, he knows he has the ability, wherewithal, strength, and skill set to deal with that problem so he's not affected by it.

7:10 And this look is always extremely attractive to women. Now, once again, that's hard to duplicate. It comes out with experience. Once you've experienced a certain number of women, once you've experienced a certain amount of success, once you've experienced what it's like to be a champion in an alpha silverback, you kind of get that look naturally. But that is one thing you can try to just pay attention to when you're out in the field. Don't look like that cat that just got tossed onto that freeway. Don't look like you just got loaded up into a catapult to be unceremoniously launched out of the city because some crime you just did, okay?

7:44 This wide-eyed, terrified look is absolutely horrible. You want to look relaxed. Okay, going onto your hands and feet, oftentimes when we're exposed in the way that our wrists are facing outward towards a crowd, almost like Jesus walking around with his wrists and or his palms pointing forward, this is a very vulnerable kind of body position. And as I'm going to talk about in a minute, vulnerability is good body language. I'm going to explain that in a minute. Walking almost like your legs are pointed outward, almost like you're exposing your genitalia to the world.

8:20 Now, obviously, you're not exposing your genitalia, but just think about like, you can walk with like pigeon toes where your legs are kind of protecting your genitalia, as it were, or you can walk with your toes kind of pointed outward and very confidently, almost like kind of leaning back and pushing your pelvis out to the world is very good body language because, again, it shows that vulnerability, which I'm going to get deeper into in a minute. Sitting down, guys who are confident will often put their arms over the back of the booth.

8:51 Spreading out, taking space. The alpha male isn't afraid to take space. Whether when he's sitting, when he's standing, he'll move himself into a spot where he's comfortable. For example, if I were to open, God damn it, I forgot to turn off my fucking phone. God damn it, Marissa texting me. Here we go. Do not disturb. Blah! It's on. No more distractions. All right, what was I talking about? That's right, opening a grill. If I were to open a grill and put myself in an uncomfortable position, such as leaning over a railing or getting bumped by people walking by as I'm talking to her, that shows I'm willing to sacrifice my comfort in order to speak to her, which is really low value.

9:32 Okay, the high value man, the guy with good body language, wants to make himself as comfortable as possible when speaking to a girl. That's why I will try to telegraph, or in my case, I'll naturally telegraph, very relaxed body language. Opening a grill in a gym, I'll lean against the machine. Opening a grill on the street, maybe I'll lean against the wall and put my foot on it. Opening a grill at her car, I'll lean against a tree. Opening a grill in the bars and the nightclubs and restaurants, I'll want to be sitting down if possible and showing her that my comfort is the most important thing to me and I'm not going to make myself uncomfortable just to speak to her.

10:11 Now, this goes into my vulnerability point, which is the most important point of this episode. If you think about it, good body language, attractive body language is in essence vulnerable body language. It's exposing those parts of your body that are vulnerable, such as your carotid artery, your heart, your genitalia, the inside of your wrists, the inside of your legs, your face, your head, your entire body is exposed. Now, when you show this open, confident, very sure yourself, slight smirk on your face, kind of body language, it shows her that you're not afraid of her and you're not afraid of the potential quote unquote alpha male coming out of the shadows and kicking your ass.

10:55 This shows that you have the wherewithal, the skill set and the self-belief to handle whatever she may throw at you or whatever society may throw at you. Good body language is in essence vulnerable body language and vulnerability comes from strength. The ability to, as I always talk about in this podcast, light yourself on fire and let other people watch you burn is ultimate vulnerability and being dangerously genuine, being dangerously genuine. So look at your body language right now. I'm throwing this at you. Take a look real quick.

11:26 What's your body language like? Okay, are you open? For example, sitting in a chair, your legs are kind of spread, maybe leaning back, hand behind your head, or are you closed up? Are you crossing your arms in front of you, crossing your legs, taking up as little room as possible? And if so, why are you that way right now? Why are you either comfortable or uncomfortable? Well, a lot of you who are comfortable aren't under threat. You're not under threat. You're driving, you're walking, you're working, whatever you're doing.

11:54 You're just doing your thing and you're familiar with it. So you're not under threat. So you have great body language right now. However, some of you who may be doing something scary or are in an uncomfortable situation, like, for example, listening to this in a bar or a nightclub, which are very, very threatening, you may have what I call protective body language or fear-based body language. And this happens a lot in the bars and the nightclubs. You guys can take a look and see this for yourself.

12:20 When a guy who is very uncomfortable in a bar or a nightclub, he's going to take up as little space as possible. He may be crossing his legs, crossing his arms, stuffing himself into the shadow or the corner of a booth, standing at the bar, very still and very scared and or fidgeting in a way where he's like jamming the straw on his drink because he's nervous and basically telegraphing to everybody that this environment is threatening him because he doesn't feel like he's enough to handle it.

12:48 I want to say that again because it's so important. When you show closed off scared body language, it telegraphs to women that you don't feel like you're enough to handle the situation you're in, either the social environment, the bar, the nightclub, the party, wherever you happen to be, and or just speaking to her because she's so hot. So what happens is guys who are talking to women who they feel is above them, for example, the guy feels like he's a six and he's talking to an eight.

13:16 He's going to have that closed off beta cut kind of body language, which telegraphs to her that he thinks she's out of his league. On the other hand, when a guy walks up, he's very calm, open body language, very vulnerable. And I'm going to talk about tonality in a minute, which is actually the most important point. But a guy who has very open, confident body language isn't trying to rush what he's saying. He's very calm. He may have that look in his eyes that he's a little bit sleepy.

13:44 That's really the only way I know how to say it. It's just a very kind of relaxed, kind of like you're just chilling there watching TV and your eyelids just close slightly, just very, very slightly. It's like imperceptible almost unless you see it. But when a guy speaks to a woman with that kind of body language, dude, she gets immediately attracted. Why? I just told you because it reflects his belief systems. It shows her that he's confident to deal with whatever she's going to throw at him.

14:11 And if she does throw some shit at him, you guys know what to do. Frame control, right? He reverses it on her. He's unaffected. He laughs it off as if she just complimented him. So as you go through your day to day life, I want you to be checking your body language regularly. Am I standing tall? Is my chin slightly up? Not too much now. I see some guys get this wrong. They err on the side of looking arrogant, but it's just kind of holding your head completely straight, kind of sticking your head out, your shoulders back, walking very open, taking up space where you sit down, not apologetic or afraid to be where you want to, not making yourself uncomfortable to speak to somebody else or to try to get in with the girl, like inconvenience yourself to get in with that woman.

14:55 These are all things that telegraph a very secure guy and a very secure, confident guy is the most attractive thing to women. Now, when it comes to your voice, and this definitely warrants its own episode, which I may actually do here soon, but I just want to drop a quick couple tidbits on this. Your voice needs to come off as if you're the authority. The authority means that at the end of your sentences, your voice goes down. Supplication means at the end of your sentences, your voice goes up.

15:22 So when trying to seek rapport with women, low value guys who once again, feel like the girl is out of their league, will seek rapport in a way where their voice goes up at the end. How are you doing today? Whereas guys who have authority, and I want you to think about it like a police officer asking you for your license and registration. Guys who have authority, their voice goes down at the end, showing her that they're not affected by her hotness. And she's the one submitting the application that they are in essence, the prize license and registration, please goes down at the end.

15:55 Okay. So I always tell my clients, and this isn't meant to be condescending to women. It's just to get themselves in the right context to frame it inside their head. So their voice is telegraphed correctly is to see it like this. They are the coach. The man is the coach. And the girl is a 13 year old girl on their soccer team. Hey Kelly, that was a great goal. Why don't you go grab those balls, grab the other girls and meet me over there on the corner of the field, all right?

16:18 See how it goes down at the end? It's authority. When speaking to women, if your voice goes up at the end, you telegraph to her that you feel she's higher value than you, and she will not get attracted to you. So that's a little tidbit about tonality, which once again warrants its own episode. But the important thing to consider here is this. Is my body language vulnerable right now? Am I open? If a bomb went off right next to me, would it probably kill me? Because my carotid artery is open.

16:45 My chest is open. My genitals are open. All the soft parts of my body are fully exposed. Even my stomach is pushed out to the world unapologetically, accepting myself as if I chose the way I am. And this goes into my previous episode. When you accept yourself as if you yourself chose how you are, your body language will be as vulnerable as it possibly can be. Like Jesus walking in the streets of Nazareth with his palms facing forward, a smile on his face, his neck totally exposed, while the Roman army is seeking to kill him.

17:17 That's what the fuck I'm talking about. Believe in Jesus as God or not, it doesn't matter. I think most of us believe that he was a real man, and he probably had some legit ass shit about him, including walking around completely vulnerable. Powerful body language is, in essence, vulnerable body language. Chin up, chest out, arms open, very comfortable in your own environment, able to deal with whatever life brings you. Now, one final note on this that I want to mention is the reactivity that your body language shows when speaking to women.

17:50 I've recorded a podcast about being reactive to women, and essentially the person who is reacting more is the one who is not in control of the conversation, whereas the person who is reacting less is the one who is in control of the conversation. And, and I want you to listen closely, you have to be the one leading the conversation, which means you are in control of the conversation with speaking to a woman in order for her to get attracted to you. So, for example, if she takes a little verbal stab at you, like, why are you wearing those pants?

18:21 And then your body language closes up and you're like, well, you know, I just think these pants are really good for tonight because it's going to be cold. If your body language is affected by her in any way whatsoever, rather than being affected only by your own internal thoughts, that will not make her attracted to you. So what that means is you are unreactive to what she does, what she says, who she is, and most importantly, her hotness, unaffected. And if she does something, for example, I see this all the time.

18:51 You guys can relate to this. You're in a group of friends. Somebody says something and nobody understands what he says, but because he's the highest value guy, they all start laughing. And or somebody starts laughing and everybody starts laughing along with them because they're the highest value guy, even though the group doesn't even know what was funny. This happens to me all the time when I'm in groups and stuff. I'll laugh at something I read on my cell phone where the group kind of misinterprets that somebody said something funny and they'll all start laughing at the same time.

19:21 And I'll be like, why are you guys laughing? There wasn't even anything funny said to you. I simply read it on my cell phone, but they're bought into my frame. They're bought into my body language. They're bought into who I am and they're reacting to me. So be very careful that your body language is not reactive to the woman, but instead is leading the woman and she should be reacting to you. If her body language mirrors yours, for example, you have your arm over the back of a booth as you're talking to her, or you have one arm on the table and one arm down and she does that same thing, mirroring your body language, that means she's in rapport with you and that means she's attracted to you.

19:59 So look at this as a student and study it with great interest. Is my body language being reactive to the outside world or am I completely internally validated and letting myself be vulnerable because I know I can handle whatever pops off and I'm not scared of it. You see, vulnerable body language is fearless body language. Fearless body language shows that you're not fearful socially and that's highly attractive. Also to go on my first point, as you mimic these high value body language techniques, sticking your chest out, holding your head up high, having a spark on your face, it will actually act in reverse and make you more confident.

20:38 Then as you continue to do affirmations, NLP coming into my three-month coaching program and letting me reprogram your brain, those belief systems are going to be reflecting your body language. So it's kind of going back and forth. The body language is helping the belief systems. The belief systems are helping the body language. Together, they turn you into an alpha male so that when you're speaking to a woman, you're totally relaxed, totally vulnerable. When somebody laughs and you don't think it's funny, you don't start laughing because it's not funny like what's funny and that's what I'll do many times.

21:09 I'm always in my own frame. I don't buy into or react to other people's frame, including their body language. If I'm in a group of dudes and we're all in an unfamiliar place and they all have fearful body language, I'm not going to buy into it. I'm going to lead that group by having vulnerable, exposed body language. And in so doing, all the girls get attracted to me as they will to you when you use these techniques. All right, boys, that wraps up this episode on body language.

21:34 Please listen to it again if you really want to get this down. It is so important, boys. It is so goddamn important. Get this one thing down and it will completely change your experience with women. Way more women will get attracted to you on this fundamental principle alone. So use it and stay tuned for my next episode, which is dropping this coming Monday. And until then, I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.