Female Psychology: How Women's Attraction REALLY Works

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate your patronage. If you've been listening for a long time, you know what to do, brother. Smack yourself in the ass so hard when the concussion hits, your balls fly up and hit the brim of your hat. If you're new here, welcome. What I try to do in this podcast is give the best information in the most succinct way possible.

0:36 And by the way, my name is Mark Sing and I am an NLP dating coach. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. I basically remap your brain. If you've listened to any of my podcasts, you're probably so sick of hearing me talk about it. So I'm going to skip it, but I will say this. I will say this, bro. If you haven't met me, for that free one-on-one breakthrough session, what is wrong with you, bro? What are you doing out there, man? What is going on inside your head where you're like, nah, I'm not going to meet with this dude.

1:06 He's just giving away free sessions where I can meet with him one-on-one, but not really into that. God, that hurts. But don't worry, bro. My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal human being. So I'll be good. I'll be good. After I cry a little bit on the corner of my bed in the cannonball position, I'll get over it. I'll get over it. But if you change your mind, if you listen to this podcast enough and you're like, yeah, you know what? I think I'll give this jackass a try.

1:30 Hit me up, brother, at coachmarkzing.com. Click on coaching. Fill out the super short survey. It takes like literally 20 seconds. And then you and I will get on that free one-on-one breakthrough session. And I have to be honest with you. I'm going to do a little coaching in there, bro. Can't help myself. I am a coach after all. But the main point of that meeting is to see if you're a good fit for my three-month coaching program where I teach you both the tactical aspects of approaching women as well as do some magical NLP on your brain so you get the belief systems of an alpha male or really just get you back to your true self-esteem, make you genuine again so you can go up to women and talk to them confidently without being stifled, without going into screensaver mode and being an idiot.

2:15 But instead walking off with her phone number like an absolute champion, brother, a complete champion. So today we're going to do a deep dive into female psychology. It's something I haven't spoken about in a little while. And I think it needs a rehash because a lot of you guys kind of don't understand this. And anytime we're playing a game, it's always wise to know your opponent. And of course, I don't like to consider women opponents. It's more like a teammate, to be honest with you. But for lack of a better expression, we want to know thy enemy, right?

2:43 The old rage against the machine song, know your enemy. So today we are going to learn about the enemy. Again, it's not an enemy. Anybody listening who gets butthurt easily, relax, bro. Drop it down a gear. Don't come unpeeled. Don't hyper-extend your ponytail. It's all good. I'm just making a reference. That's all that's happening. But we are going to get to learn about females because it's really important that you learn this. So we're going to start off about why women are attracted to what they are attracted to.

3:16 Now, if you don't know this, hopefully this is going to be a big aha moment for you as to why women haven't been attracted to you in the past, have been attracted to you in the past, and why sometimes they're attracted to men who they don't say they're attracted to. They say, oh, I want a guy with a great job who treats me right, treats me like a queen, and then they go and they hook up with the biggest asshole that ever walked this earth. Well, it's because women are programmed to be attracted to survivability.

3:44 That's right, survivability. Women want to know that you are confident, decisive, you have resources, you are a champion, you are the leader of men, you believe in yourself, you are successful, not necessarily monetarily, but socially successful is the most important thing, because that shows survivability. Why does she care if you have good survivability? Because she wants good genes to pass off to her kids so they too can survive. See, it's all based on continuing the human race. That's what all attraction is based on, even your attraction to women.

4:13 The only thing it has to do with is children. Isn't that weird? And isn't it kind of creepy? Like our attraction is fully based on children, fully based on it, because that guarantees the survivability of the human race. Can you see how that works? It's all about ensuring the spread of her DNA and your DNA. And she wants the best chance possible of having a kid who's healthy, having a kid who can survive, who's smart, who's capable, who's socially savvy. So if you demonstrate all those traits, she's going to be attracted to you.

4:47 Now, what are we attracted to? Obviously, we are so attracted to looks, and it's nothing we should feel guilty about. I know there's a lot of movement in today's society that makes us feel guilty because we want a hot girl, right? There's all this political correctness, and there's a big movement against men, even calling it toxic masculinity, to be attracted to a woman physically. It's like you're shallow. They even made a movie, Shallow Howl. But here's the point, bro, is that her looks show her ability to have a healthy baby.

5:16 Because if she has healthy skin, if she's thin, if she has a good breast-to-waist ratio, healthy hair, healthy teeth, clear eyes, beautiful face, beautiful body, it shows a healthy ability to have a healthy baby. It's completely based on that. But today, we're talking about what women are attracted to. So the reason sometimes women are attracted to guys who they say are the polar opposite of what they say they want is because attraction isn't a choice. I want you to write that down, dude. Attraction is not a choice.

5:50 And what women say they're attracted to and what they're actually attracted to are two very different things. Why? Because the rational mind in her mind, she's like, yeah, I want a guy who treats me well, who has a great job, who's financially secure, who da-da-da-da-da-da. She lifts off all these things. She may even say she needs a guy who's over 6'2", and then she sleeps with the dude who's 5'6". It's because that dude who's 5'6", he demonstrated those survivability traits, confidence, decisiveness, tonality, the correct tonality, leading her to where she wants to be led, control on the frame, being the leader, showing pre-selection, other girls want him.

6:30 All these things that women are mapped to be attracted to. But again, women don't sit around studying this like we do. They don't have to. All they got to do is be hot. And it kind of makes me feel bad for the women who aren't hot or who have let themselves go and get fat because they don't have nearly the same chance that attractive women do to get a high quality man. So women are always trying to get the best man they can, just like we're trying to get the hottest girl we can.

6:56 That is written into your DNA. So first of all, don't feel bad about it. Second of all, don't make other people feel bad about it. And third of all, stop with all this PC bullshit because fat girls aren't attractive. They just aren't. Get used to it. They just aren't. Why? Because fat, oh man, I'm going to go down a rabbit hole. I'm going to keep myself contained. I'm just going to say one thing about it. When she's fat, it shows she's unhealthy. She can't control herself.

7:17 She can't control her eating habits. So that shows us that she has an unhealthy body. And I don't care what arguments you bring to me. Being overweight is unhealthy. Therefore, it's unhealthy for her baby as well. Therefore, men are not attracted to it. So I get it. It's a touchy subject. When you put no fat chick sticker on the back of your car, people get butt hurt. But there's a very clear reason why that is because it shows signs of bad health. Bro, a fat girl to us guys is the same as an insecure guy to girls.

7:51 But you don't see people getting all pissed off about insecure guys, do you? No. Because of toxic masculinity, they want you to be insecure. Oh man, I'm going down rabbit hole. Don't do it, Mark. Come back to the point at hand. But it's the same shit. All right. So women are attracted to all these traits. Now here's the interesting thing. When you're first speaking to a woman, her attraction can flip flop for you from unattracted to attracted in real time, like super quickly. It's almost like she's super hot for a minute.

8:18 Then in an instant, she turns into a fat girl and then she's super hot again and she turns into a fat girl. And this is all based on our behavior. So if you speak to her in a way that's really attractive, let's say you control the frame on her. She tries to test you. You flip it on her and get her attracted. I'd suggest you listen to my frame control episodes. If you haven't, I'm not going to go down that rabbit hole. But let's say you do that.

8:45 Boom, she gets attracted. And then you say something like, so do you want to go to the movies tomorrow? And you do a little disclaimer laugh, this little insecure thing. She's going to lose attraction for you and it can flip flop. Now, as I always say in my coaching, as well as on the podcast, women's attraction for you is like a dimmer switch. It goes up slowly. It can go down a little bit. It can go up again. But as it begins to go up, typically it begins to consolidate and get more and more and more with time.

9:12 But you can fuck it up. And a lot of you guys have done that. A lot of you guys have been killing it in the beginning. And then you just do one little thing and she ghosts you. The reason is, is because again, women can flip flop back and forth. If you do a low value thing, she's going to be like, nope, next. Especially, and consider this from a woman's perspective. When you have 200 options, you are screening heavily for any insecure mannerisms, low value traits, low signs of survivability, right?

9:38 So if a guy does something wrong, you're going to blow them out, especially because her clock is ticking. Why is her clock ticking? Because as I just said, women's attractiveness is the most important thing to us guys. Don't deny it. Don't try to be PC. You know, just as well as I do, and don't feel guilty about it. The next time you're chopping it up with your boys and be like, dude, how hot was she? Don't be like, oh, I shouldn't have said that, bro. That's toxic masculinity.

10:05 That's like not being PC. Fuck that. This is how you're designed. So accept it. It's okay. It's okay to be attracted to females looks. This is literally programmed into us. So accept it. All right. I accept it. You can accept it. Don't feel guilty about it. It is what it is. But with women's attraction, like I said, you show one little low value thing, boom, they're gone. And you can't blame them, bro. It's like she turns into a Bertha right in front of you. And you're like, oh no, what just happened?

10:33 Right? You'd be out of there too. Now, as I said, you can get it back. And as you show attractiveness, attractive behaviors with time, her attraction for you consolidates. Now, a lot of you guys, as I did, make the mistake of assuming that attraction works for females as fast as it works for us. The reason it works fast for us is again, because it's highly dependent on looks. We can see a girl and I'm serious within 0.4 milliseconds, we can see whether or not she's attractive and we can feel attraction for her.

11:09 It's instant. It's literally instant attraction. She's hot, boom, attracted to her. Or you may need to see her turn around a couple of times, get the whole picture. And then kind of your attraction is consolidated, right? You're like, meh, maybe I'd like hit it once and then quit it. And by the way, any females listening, the reason why dudes hit it and quit it is because she's just hot enough to want to have sex with once. But there's also a lot of unattractive things about her that you don't want to dip in a second time.

11:34 And all you guys listen or nod your head, you're like, dude, this guy is spot on. It's exactly how it is. It's like the girls who get used. And this is part of the reason I don't want my daughter to be a seven is because this happens to sevens all the time. And sevens is like kind of attractive, but kind of not. She's like kind of average. There's some sexy things about her. Like she might have like some nice eyes or really nice butt or like a nice rack.

11:58 And guys will just want to use her one time and then quit it, hit it and quit it, right? Well, with women, it doesn't happen so fast. Women's attraction often takes more time. So when you're dealing with women, you have to understand that attraction could take days, weeks, it can even take months to finally consolidate into enough attraction where she wants to see you. But again, your mistakes are going to slow the progress. If you do something low value, if you have some tonality issue, if you do some shit that just screams insecurity, that attraction is going to go down.

12:40 So it's kind of like a graph, like it's hopefully going up most of the time, but then you can have down peaks and it needs to reach a certain level of maturation until you get her attracted enough to, you know, snag her number, take her on a date, et cetera. But a lot of you guys are too impatient with it. And you're like, dude, she's not attracted to me. And I always say, well, she's not attracted to you yet. She could get attracted to you. And this too is why we can win women back.

13:02 When they blow us out, they break up with us, they ghost us. What I always say is, dude, you can win her back by becoming more attractive. You can win a woman back after several years when she sees how much you've changed and then she comes back. For us, it's very difficult for a woman to either win us over after our initial impression of her has deemed her to be unattractive or to win us back after we've quote unquote hit it and quit it. Right? Because if she has like a nice rack and bro, you have been there just as I have.

13:40 We wanted to see the tits. Okay. I've done some shit and I know you have too. So don't try to play Mr. Like pure and worthy, Mr. Virtue Signaler. Relax, bro. You know, you've done this. She's got just a nice rack, but like a little bit of a tummy. Maybe she's got some jacked up teeth and you're like, would I make out with her in order to see those or maybe get a little sick duck? Uh, yeah, I'll probably do that. And I've done that too.

14:02 And then you blow her out and she's like, why, why do guys always do this to me? That's why, again, like it sucks to be a seven as a girl. If I was a girl, I'd want to be an eight or above, preferably a nine or a 10, because then it's like life becomes completely different. Now there are disadvantages to being a nine or a 10, completely different podcast episode. But being like an average, kind of cute girl, in my opinion, it's harder that way because guys constantly use you.

14:30 And this is why they do it. I know it, you know it, hell, even you know it. So with women, yet again, if you prove a track record of being attractive, she's probably going to get attracted to you. But you have to understand sometimes it takes time. I think I spoke about in a pretty recent episode, how I'm doing this campaign on this girl at Sprouts, the grocery store that I shop at among others. Well, initially she may have thought I was cute. She may have thought I was charming, but it's like, she didn't feel that attraction just yet until I ran my campaign on her, probably had to see her five, six, seven times before I saw that first sign of attraction.

15:06 And now she's deep in the bucket. This goes on to my next point is women's attraction matures over time typically. And I want to get back to this because I know you guys are thinking, well, what about like cold approach or nightclubs and stuff? I'll get to that in a second. But usually it takes a little bit of time to mature. And then there needs to be a point where you execute, which is go for the phone number or the attraction can die, right? It kind of like has a lifespan.

15:34 It matures, matures, matures. It peaks. She's super, super attracted. And then it could die out if you don't act on it. And the reason it dies out if you don't act on it is twofold. First of all, her sexual marketplace value is clicking off, meaning her time is ticking away. So she needs to go find a guy who will take her. And secondly, if you don't execute because of cowardice, it looks unattractive and she loses attraction for you. Now that goes back to that caveat that I spoke about, which is like nightclubs and or day game or like social circle game.

16:04 All right. The speed of women's attraction is also dictated by the environment they find themselves in. So if a woman goes to a nightclub with the intention to meet a guy, she's really in that space of her life where she's trying to date, meet dudes, she's really into dudes, her attraction can go a lot faster. But if the context isn't correct, such as you approaching a girl in the grocery store, such as that woman at Sprouts who have gotten attracted to me, the context isn't sexual.

16:33 It's a customer employee context. And sometimes you have to work at it to kind of chip through that context in order to finally get her attracted to you. And she kind of wakes up like, Oh my God, I'm attracted to this guy. Like sometimes women don't realize that they're attracted to you unless something hits them in the face, such as you show up with another girl to Sprouts who's really hot, which happened to be the case with me. Marissa and I went one day, I purposely stood in this girl's line with Marissa.

16:59 Marissa is really attractive. And I saw the girl notice it. And then she's like, Oh, I'm attracted to him because I'm feeling a sense of jealousy or wanting of him because of that preselection. Again, with us, it's like, she's hot. Yes, I'm into her. Let's go. Let's do this. I don't even care. She's a dingbat. I want to take her out because she's so banging. With women, it depends on context. And it also depends on the woman herself. Some women just mature more slowly than others.

17:27 It takes them more time. They need more comfort. There's a myriad of different variables, but also contextually in the nightclub, it can go super fast. Also, you can break through it with what I taught a couple of weeks ago, which was the old how to get a girl's phone number super fast, which is just be like, I'm attracted to you. I think you're cute. I'd be kicking myself the rest of the day unless I approached you. I got to get out of here right now. So I'm going to do the only thing I can do.

17:59 And that's ask for your phone number. She immediately knows it's a sexual conversation. And now we've accessed her, I don't know what to call it, her attraction assessment program. The attraction assessment program has been engaged and she's like, attracted, attracted, and then she'll give you her phone number. So there's all these variables to consider when we think about female attraction. But if you're like trying to yank a girl at work or the dry cleaners or Starbucks or the supermarket, give yourself time, bro. Because usually it takes like a campaign of multiple touches, leaving her on a high note, showing preselection, being funny, being confident, being the dude.

18:38 Actually with that girl at Sprouts, a quick story is how I showed survivability, how I showed confidence. And I showed that I'm the leader of men. I walked up to her and I was talking to them about their masks, right? Like, why are you guys still wearing masks? And she's like, we still have to. And I'm like, no, you don't. I was talking to the butcher and he told me that you guys can take them off if you're vaccinated. And she's like, they did. And the lady like packing the bag was like, they did.

19:03 They did do that. And I'm like, what the hell you guys, I know more about your grocery store than you do. And then in a really loud voice, and this was to purposely put social pressure on myself. I was like, attention employees. If you are vaccinated, you may now take off your mask. Congratulations. And I start clapping and everybody starts clapping, bro. That showed so much confidence, so much masculinity, so much control in the frame and the ability to endure social pressure. So that spiked her attraction even more.

19:32 Now she's in the ether, bro. She's in the bucket. I could easily snag her number if I wanted to. Of course I won't because I have a girlfriend. She's an eight, but honestly, she's kind of got a little bit of a pudge. So what would I do if I was single? I'm going to be honest, guys. And if you hate on me for this, just know that you do this too. I probably want to dip in a couple of times and then quit it. But now that I'm mature, because I know I do that, I wouldn't dip in at all.

19:59 I'd just be like, nah, man, I know myself, bro. I'm going to dip into that a couple of times and I'm going to be like, meh, we don't really have chemistry. I think it's best we part ways. I don't do that shit anymore, nor would I do that shit if I didn't have a girlfriend because it's like fucked up, right? It's fucked up. But I've done it. I've done it and I know a lot of you guys do it and this is why we do it is because she's just attractive enough, but not attractive enough to hold as a long-term girlfriend.

20:24 With women, it's the same thing. Like if you're just attractive enough to date for a while, but then you show like insecure mannerisms, where was it on some podcast? I think it was Kristen Carney said that she was dating a dude and he was going to like carry some pumpkins up to the second floor. And he turns to her and he's like, how are we going to get these pumpkins upstairs? And she's like, at that moment, I lost all attraction for him. Why? Because it's like non-survivability.

20:52 It's non-masculinity. It's being a fucking pussy, right? So she lost it. Boom, gone. It's just like you're with a girl and she bends over and you see a couple fat rolls and you're like, oh no, no. Why'd that have to happen? I can't do this anymore now. You know, you've been there, bro. As have I. All right. So to round out this podcast, I want to talk about some of the signs of attraction. Just to reiterate, I know I've spoken a lot about this before, but just to make sure that you guys know what you're looking for.

21:18 All right. So dilated pupils, super important. Their cheeks get blushed. You can tell blood is going to their face when they're attracted. They may also itch their face because the capillaries in their face are expanding, particularly around the nose. And this, by the way, happens when you lie, playing with their hair, laughing at jokes that aren't funny, leaning in, asking you questions about yourself, trying to touch you, being over extra, super happy to see you like that chick at Sprouts. Some other subtle things that I talked about in a recent episode, like moving her legs to try to get your attention, proximity, trying to get close to you, having emotional outbursts to try to get your attention, and also helping somebody else in front of you to prove to you that she can be a good caretaker, which by the way, it goes back to the initial part of this podcast, which is taking care of the baby, right?

22:12 She wants to prove to you that she can take care of a baby. So she's going to like help an old woman with her groceries in front of you to try to prove that to you. This shit absolutely fascinates me. I love watching it between men and women. I love developing it in women and kind of seeing how they react, how they change. And it's like when I walk up to that girl among other girls that I interact with, but her particularly right now, she's like super in the bucket, bro, like really into it.

22:41 And at first she wasn't at all. And this is a power that you too can have when you understand these things. You understand female psychology, what to say, how to be high value, and most importantly, reprogram your brain. So you walk and talk and behave like an alpha male that she can get attracted to. But it's so interesting because at first she's just like, Hey, how are you doing? Like she didn't think anything of me. And now she's like fucking in love, dude. And it's like, it's so funny to me how female attraction works.

23:08 I absolutely love women. I think they're gorgeous. I think they're fucking amazing, dude. And I love how their psychology is. And it's just all survivability of the child. That's what it's all based on. So now that you know this, you know, which traits to display in front of women, you know, how to read their attraction. Then based on their attraction is when you go for the phone number. And I actually had somebody ask me this. It's kind of a dumb question, but I guess it's good because maybe some of you guys don't know, but yes, you only ask for the phone number when she's attracted.

23:40 When you have at least two to three of these signs that I just went through, if she's not doing that, bro, she's not into it. You don't want to go for the phone number. Now, some pickup artist coaches might say, if you don't go, you never know. If you don't ask, it's always a no. But in my opinion, I'd rather have you not ask for it when she's clearly not attracted and save yourself the embarrassment of rejection, save yourself the bad programming of being rejected and only go for it when you're pretty damn sure she's attracted to you so that you get into a positive energy matrix, you get forward momentum going, and you don't fear rejection so much because you can read the signs that you're probably going to be rejected.

24:19 So that's my own philosophy. Look for the signs, bro. If they're not there, don't ask for it. Don't ask for it. Move on. Do a campaign on someone else. And I'll tell you, they may come eventually. Those attraction signs from that girl who isn't giving them to you yet, they may come eventually, particularly when you work on yourself, when you work on yourself. Now, of course, with time, her attraction can never come up for you if you get put in the friend zone. But I believe even guys who are relegated to the friend zone, like the shoe, the segregated housing unit where you're on lockdown 23 and one, I still think you can break out of the friend zone jail by showing super attractive qualities, by getting other women in your life, asking her for advice about the girls that you're dating, becoming super confident, working on yourself.

25:09 I've helped guys get out of friend zone many times. And by the way, I don't do that. So don't hire me if you're trying to like get your friend to sleep with you. I don't like fucking with that. What I do is get tons of women into your life so that you can become an attractive man. And those girls who have friends on you will probably get into you by default. But like, don't think you're going to hire me to help you do a campaign on a specific chick done that too many times.

25:31 I hate doing it. It just isn't my thing. I want to get new women, tons of them into your life. I'm talking dozens and dozens and dozens, hopefully over 100 over the three months that you're with me. That's what we do. And that's what we focus on. So if you're interested in that, hit me up at coachmarksing.com. Click on coaching, fill in the goddamn slap in the biscuit and you and I will get on that free one on one breakthrough session together. All right, gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays.

25:57 And by the way, if you found value in this podcast or any of my other episodes, I'd very much appreciate a review. And if you drop a review for me, please email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com and I'll send you a bunch of cool shit. Other than that, I look forward to meeting most of you on the free breakthrough session. Let's chat like two homies around the campfire and see how we can get you to your goals with women in the quickest, easiest way possible.

26:25 And that's by reprogramming your brain. So you telegraph all the attractive qualities that women are designed to be attracted to. Once again, boys, thank you so much for listening and I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.