FRAME CONTROL ATOMIC BOMB: 5 Rapid "Why Questions" to Seduce Girls

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. For those of you who have been listening for a long time, you know what to do, brother. Smack yourself on the ass so hard when the concussion hits, it knocks the implants out of your girlfriend's chest. For those of you who have just started listening, welcome.

0:33 My name is Mark Sing. I'm an NLP dating coach. I help guys get laid, get more ass than a toilet seat, become more attractive than Casanova himself, become a legendary coxman that songs will be written about that will be sung around campfires for generations to come. If you want to get on a free one-on-one breakthrough session with me, I do offer that, where you and I get on the call together and talk about your issues with women, talk about how we can get you to what exactly you want with women, that biggest goal you could possibly perceive in your head.

1:08 Instead, I'm going to tell you how long it'll take you to get there, and then I'm going to tell you what kind of goals you can expect in the months leading up to that ultimate goal of becoming an absolute girl magnet, that coxman like Casanova himself, attracting women like a nuclear-powered girl magnet. That is my job, and I'll tell you, boys, I'm very fucking good at what I do. Every single day, I get emails from guys just blown away by the quality of the program. I should pull one up to read to y'all, but just go check my website.

1:38 I actually just added 13 new testimonials, and I got a whole bucket worth that I need to add again, but I do it every couple months. So check that out, CoachMarkSingh.com. Click on Coaching. If you're interested, hit the big, red, bubbly-looking button. That's really fun to click. Fill in the application. That literally takes probably a minute to fill in. Submit it to me, and you and I will get on that free call together. I want to let you guys know, as I talked about on Monday, that my schedule is going to be absolutely stacked in 2022.

2:10 Not only do people have their New Year's resolutions, which my opinion about New Year's resolutions will remain my own. I'm not going to comment on them. In fact, I am. I think they're fucking stupid. But a lot of people are like, okay, buddy, it's time now to get some girls. Let's hire that Mark Singh. It's 2022, and I always get super goddamn busy in January, February, and with the way things are growing, I'm thinking maybe even into March. So if you want to beat the tidal wave, beat that tsunami coming onto the shores, that's going to prevent you from meeting with me sooner rather than later.

2:43 Get in before the rush, brother. Put in that application right now while you can, because I guarantee it's going to be goddamn busy. All right, so we are going to talk about the frame control concept. You guys know how much I love frame control. The frame control concept of why questions, W-H-Y, why questions when speaking to women. All right, so those of you who have been listening for a long time, you know that frame control is the number one most important thing about seducing women. I've talked about it here and there on this podcast, but this podcast can't even touch, can't even light a candle to the sheer masterclass about frame control that I give in my three-month coaching program.

3:24 In fact, week two is the frame control masterclass. All my best content about it, goddamn, my guys get good. And when you learn frame control, when you really understand this concept, everything about you changes. The way you hold yourself, the way you deal with people, the way you feel about yourself. Going back to my previous episode about being the prize when it comes to women and, frankly, being the prize when it comes to life. When you have that bearing about yourself, when you understand these concepts that I'll tell you, 99.99% of the population doesn't understand.

3:56 They don't even know this is happening and we are social creatures. That's all we do all day is socialize with each other. And most people don't understand the fundamental backbone of all social interactions, which is frame control. So when you know about it, when you understand it, and when you master it, you're like a puppeteer controlling all conversations. Now, control is a weak word. We don't really want to control. In fact, we want to lead and we do so compassionately. We do so with empathy. We do so for the betterment of the other person, not the detriment of that person.

4:31 So when it comes to women, I want to let you guys know, women want you to win. They want you to attract them. They want to have that experience that they've been dreaming about since they were three years old. The prince coming in through the window, saving them from the evil queen and taking them into a better life, taking them into a positive, emotionally charged experience. Okay, so when women want you to win, what they do is they throw out little tests to you and or they behave in a way where they're waiting for you to lead them and or show them that you, brother, are in fact the prize.

5:06 That you are the leader, that you are the one in control but not controlling, and you are going to lead her to an experience that's going to give her those emotions. That's what a woman wants more than anything. This makes women wetter than the Costa Rican rainforest down below. She's going to be dancing on your leg, leaving a snail trail, right down your brand new Levi jeans. That's what the fuck I'm talking about. So I've talked about frame control several times in this podcast. You guys know a little bit about it.

5:34 It's basically leading the conversation. It's basically showing her that you are the leader and she's safe to get tucked under your wing because, as I just mentioned, you are going to lead her into an experience that she wants to have. So you're leading women to where they want to be led. Now, we do this in a variety of different ways, many of which are too thorough to get into on this episode. So I'm going to focus on one individual component of frame control. It's like a wheel.

6:01 There's tons of spokes in the wheel of frame control. This is one spoke, but it's a very powerful one. And you're going to ask that to her in a way that elicits attraction because when you do it, it shows very strong frame. Okay, so in most conversations with a woman, what do most guys do? They try to make her feel good. They try to give her an experience where we are taught from kids to give somebody a positive experience. You give them the power. Isn't that true?

6:35 Like, really think about this. We are taught from childhood that the way to get people to like you is to basically give them the power. Let's do what you want to do. Okay, so most guys go up to a woman and say, listen, I'm going to give you anything you want. You want to go to this restaurant? Let's go. You want me to buy you this diamond ring? Let's do it. You want to live here? You want to travel there? You want to do XYZ? I'm your dude.

6:57 Let's go do it. You want a massage? I got you, right? So they basically give her the power and in so doing, they kill attraction because attraction isn't rapport building. It's not building a friendship. It's not trying to make her like you in the conventional way that we've been taught. Instead, it's getting her to be attracted to you in the non-conventional way that most of us have never been taught. And that way is leading her, showing her you're in control and having her submit the application, as I talked about in my previous podcast about being the prize.

7:30 So in an application process, let's say you're applying for a job. What's happening there? What's happening is that person is asking you questions as to your previous experience. What can you bring to this company? Why should we hire you? Well, when you ask women why-based questions, it's essentially the same thing. And that's sub-communicated. Sub-communication means the communication underneath the communication that she is the one submitting the application and you're like the boss checking off things on her application, seeing if she makes the cut. This in both sales as well as seduction is called qualifying.

8:07 You're qualifying her to make sure that she qualifies for the job of dating you. And yes, even eventually being your girlfriend or your wife. So obviously we don't do this right up front because if you do this to a woman too soon, she's going to blow you off because you haven't earned the value. You haven't gotten her attracted to you yet. So when it comes to these qualifying type questions, typically we save them until after she's attracted to us. Okay. And qualifying type questions are what's good about you beyond your looks?

8:37 What would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? Are you loyal? She says, yes. And you say, what's the most loyal thing you've ever done for somebody? You can say the way to my heart is through cooking. Are you a good cook? Okay. So these set the precedents that she has to work for you and it gives her a reason in her own mind to know why you're attracted to her. So oftentimes guys will go up. They'll say a few things to a girl and try to yank her phone number.

9:03 She's sitting there thinking, why does he want me? It's because I'm hot, obviously. So I'm not going to date him. But when it comes to these qualifying type questions, she can rationalize in her own head why you're attracted to her and the chances of her replying to your text go up exponentially. So that's how we use qualifying questions. And we do that after we can tell she's already attracted. Okay. But why questions, while they are part of qualifying and we certainly use them when we're qualifying the girl after she's attracted, what I really like about it is I can use them really quick in the conversation, even in the first 30 seconds to set up the precedents that I am the selector, that she's the one submitting the application, that I'm not afraid to ask her why, even though I don't know her.

9:49 Okay. So let's look at this and break it out between guys. Okay. So you just meet a guy and then you ask him a slightly challenging question like, Hey, why are you wearing that jacket? Or as I'll often do to guys in the gym, I'll ask them why they're wearing certain gloves. I'll ask them why they're doing an exercise that way. It's almost like I'm sitting there rubbing my chin and they have to explain themselves to me. They have to prove to me that the way they're doing something is the superior way.

10:15 So can you see how that puts me in the power position? If you and I got on the phone together and I said, Hey man, why should I hang out with you? That immediately sets the precedents that I'm the selector. You're the one submitting the application and you have to prove yourself to me to convince me that I should hang out with you. Well, it's the same thing with women. When you question them, like when you question something they're doing, something they're wearing, the way they're behaving, why even they are at a certain location or why they have a certain job that they happen to be doing.

10:45 It sets the precedents that you're the selector and you're used to people explaining themselves to you. Guys who are used to people explaining themselves to them are often the most attractive guys because most people would never do that. In a way, it's equivalent to breaking rapport. Building rapport, on the other hand, is more like, Hey man, you seem like a cool guy. Like we should hang out sometime. Breaking rapport is, Hey bro, why should I hang out with you? What are you going to bring to the table?

11:10 What are you going to bring to this soccer team? Say, for example, if you're on the team, you're the captain, some dude's trying to become a part of your soccer team. You'd be like, Hey, why should we take you? Like, what can you do? And then he's sitting there saying, well, I did this. I scored this many goals last season. I was on this soccer team. I'm this highly trained. I was on my high school soccer team, blah, blah, blah. Automatically, he wants it more because he's working for it.

11:34 He wants it more because he's fighting for it. And this is what we do to women. So some why questions are like I talked about, why are you wearing that? I'll go up to a woman initially. I'll be talking to her and I'll be like, that's an interesting necklace. Why would you choose to wear that? Right? And she's like, well, you know, my grandma gave it to me, this, that, and the third. While she's explaining that to me, she's getting more attracted to me because I set the precedence that you need to explain yourself to me.

12:00 Now, most guys, as I mentioned, do the opposite of this. They explain themselves to women without even knowing it. They try to brag to women. They try to show off to them. They try to talk about their high value jobs, such as being like a doctor, a dentist, a lawyer, whatever the fuck you do, a successful entrepreneur, whatever it is. They try to like work that in to the first few minutes of the conversation, thereby trying to impress her. But it actually backfires. It has the opposite effect because she knows that you're trying to impress her.

12:30 And this is why, boys, you never want to come off like you're trying to impress a woman. You want to do the opposite. You want to show her that you don't care about what she thinks. Talking about how you're getting a little bit fat. Sneezing in front of her. Maybe even sniffing your own BO. I know this sounds crazy, but I've done it and it works. I remember one time I was just fucking with this for a couple months. I'd like sniff my armpit and be like, damn, dude, I should have worn some deodorant today.

12:54 And most guys would look at me and be like, dude, what are you doing? This chick is so fucking banging. And you're showing her this? Like, what are you doing? The reason is, is because it shows her you don't care. Now, always, boys. Okay. Common sense is not too common. You can't always fix stupid. And some of you guys are pretty damn thick headed, but you can choke it out. I saw a t-shirt that said that you can't fix stupid, but you could choke it out.

13:16 I asked Marissa to get it for me. So to my point, using your common sense, that's about the most I'll push it out to, right? I'm not going to say like, damn, I got some from under cheese under my balls and I really need to take a shower because my ass smells like a homeless man's armpit that just farted. I would never say that because it's like too far. Well, actually, you know what? I may say that, but you don't want to go too far. Okay.

13:37 So when I say like sniffing my armpits and be like, yo, I should have wore some deodorant. That's super extreme, but it's to illustrate to you boys that when you show her, you don't give a shit, she gets more attracted to you and you throw in why questions like you need to explain yourself to me, huge for attraction and huge to show that you have a strong frame that you can lead her. And you're sitting there thinking, how in the fuck does this get women attracted to him?

14:03 He just sounds like an asshole. It may sound that way. And this is why I tell you guys that experience trumps anything you'll ever learn in this podcast. And that's why my coaching program experience is a gigantic component of it. I get my guys out there talking to girls consistently experience trumps anything I can tell you intellectually. But when you deliver this in the right way, maybe with a smirk on your face, kind of showing your fucking around. But at the same time, for example, sneezing in front of her and blowing your nose in front of her, showing her you don't really give a shit.

14:33 Or as I'll often do, making a joke about how I got the angry inch in my pants and how that little fucker is so small, but it's not the size of the dinghy. It's the motion of the ocean. It shows her like, I don't care what you think. Talking about like, I picked my nose the other day and this monster came out and I flicked it and it wouldn't get off. And then I pretend like, flick it off this finger and it gets on the other finger, flick it off that finger, it gets on that finger, flick it off that finger, it gets on that finger.

14:57 And you're like flicking both your fingers. It keeps like going on to the wrong finger. Making a joke about that shows her you don't give a shit while coupling that with, why did you do that? Why are you wearing that? Why are you here? Why did you say that? I'll often say to girls. Like she says something super negative, super hateful. I'll be like, why did you just say that? You're not an angry person, are you? And you see how I framed that question? You're not an angry person, are you?

15:24 Is setting the precedence that she has to explain herself to me and say, no, I'm not. Automatically, when she says, no, no, I'm not negative. I'm actually really positive. Little does she know she's selling herself to me. And through the psychological phenomenon known as cognitive dissonance, as she sells herself to me, she's getting more attracted to me. I'll do why questions right up front. You don't have to wait for her to get attracted to you to do a simple why question. Now asking her what's good about you beyond your looks is a question that you should wait until she's attracted.

15:58 Okay. So the innocuous why questions, why are you wearing that? Why are you drinking that? Why do you have a clutch rather than a purse tonight? Why do you like this car? Why are you living in the city? Why did you move here from there? Why are you traveling to, I don't know. Well, she's going to go travel to Turkey or something. You'd be like, why would you travel to Turkey when the same price ticket could get you to Australia or Great Britain? Why would you do that?

16:21 Right? It's like, it's innocuous. It's innocent. But it shows that you're used to people explaining themselves to you. And a guy who's used to people explaining themselves to him is highly, highly attractive. Okay. So to reiterate, in the very beginning of the first conversation, you could use a couple why questions to set up the context that you have a very strong frame and you're used to people explaining themselves to you. Once she's attracted, you get signs of attraction, her laughing at jokes that aren't funny, asking you personal questions, opening up her body language, intruding on your personal space or not moving back when you move in on hers, dilated pupils, licking her lips, flush cheeks, touching you.

17:04 You get these signs. You can use a qualifying question, right? Which is, do you cook? Because the way to my heart is through cooking. Or what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? But before you get her attracted and in order to get her attracted, you can use why questions. Why questions are simple, very small, very concise ways for her to explain herself to you. For example, why are you guys here tonight? There's a big party over that other nightclub. Why would you be here?

17:31 Right? And your tone is really important. As I always say to you boys, and I have to preface this by saying you're never condescending to women. You want to have the tonality of like you're the soccer coach and you're talking to a 13 girl on your soccer team. Kelly, why'd you wear those cleats tonight? Didn't you get new Nikes the other day? Why are you wearing those? Okay. See how that coach would say that? It makes Kelly have to explain herself to you. And then in the context of like a sexual type conversation in a bar, in a nightclub, even a day game, in the supermarket, in coffee shop, wherever, she's getting more attracted because she's explaining.

18:04 So here's what I want you to do. The next conversation you get into, just try this once or twice. Just ask her a why question about her clothes. Okay. Say, Hey, why are you wearing those sandals? Today's like really cold. Why would you wear sandals like that? Or why did you dye your hair pink like that? Does it ever prevent you from getting jobs? Like question her, question something about her. And if she ever questions you, what do you guys do? You should know this. Should you ever explain yourself to a woman?

18:31 Now this dictates obviously its own episode. And I actually have talked about this in the past. There are always exceptions to the rule, but as a general principle, you should never explain yourself to a woman. Okay. So she asked me, why are you wearing sandals today? It's going to be really cold today. I'd be like, the real question is, why aren't you wearing sandals? These things are so comfortable, right? You flip it on her or you say, cause I'm homeless. I can't afford shoes. I just rock these Jerusalem sliders everywhere I go.

18:57 Yeah, completely poor. Ain't got a penny to my name. Something like that, right? So you agree and amplify, reframe it, make it into a joke, whatever it is that you choose to do. But if she questions you, you never explain yourself to her. Instead, you ask her why questions to try to get her to explain herself to you. Extremely, extremely powerful. And this is a cool way to qualify girls before they're attracted. So keep this in mind, boys, throw it into your initial conversations with chicks, see how it goes.

19:25 If you want to get on that free one-on-one breakthrough session with me, beat the tidal waves of dudes that are inevitably going to come in the first of the year, go to my website, coachmarkstein.com, or you can simply click the link in the description below. Click on coaching, fill in the quick application, turn it in. I will send you my schedule and you and I will get on that one-on-one free breakthrough session together. And I can tell you exactly how long it's going to take you to get to your goals with women, talk about your issues, talk about things that you've probably never thought of.

19:57 Every call I get on, the guys are always like, damn, dude, I never thought of that before. They have like a big epiphany. And I always give a lot of value. Even if we don't end up working together, all my guys walk away saying, man, that coaching call really did improve me. And that's what I'm here to do, boys. I'm here to give because I understand that you give first, you will get later. And God bless America. That's definitely been happening with this business. And I thank you for it.

20:22 Thank you for listening. Thank you for coming back. I got an awesome one dropping on Monday. So make sure to stay tuned for that one. And I will see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode. We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.