How to Dump a Girl and Get Her Friend Instead

0:00 Welcome to The Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you coming back, or if this is your first time, and you want to learn how to dump a girl in order to get her friend, and welcome, brother. My name is Mark Sing. I am a dating coach, and I am your fearless host of the Uniform Mike Papa, The Unapologetic Man Podcast.

0:38 So today, we're going to talk about how to dump a girl who you're seeing and yank her friend instead. Now, first, I have to let you know I don't agree with you, brother. I think it's kind of fucked up, to be honest with you. It's going to hurt the girl who you're dating. It puts the bad juju out there. It puts the bad karma out there. But I get it. I get it. And I dare say I've done it myself a couple times where you're kind of seeing a girl, and it's like your whole hum about her, but her friend, holy bombordi, that girl is hot.

1:05 And you're like, oh, my hell, I have to upgrade to this more harder girl. In fact, I had this little bit of a vengeance thing that I wanted to take on this group of girls, three girls. And my goal was to hook up with all of them, and I achieved that goal by doing a lot of what I'm going to tell you today. So this is some like FBI-level negotiation kind of mind trickery that I'm going to show you, and it just works into people's psychology.

1:31 If you understand human psychology, namely female psychology, then you can pull something off like this. So before we get into the content, I want to thank you guys yet again for all the awesome reviews. If you leave me a review, preferably a five-star review with some writing behind it, please email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com so I can reciprocate your kindness by sending you a bunch of cool shit. If you want to meet with me one-on-one to talk about your issues with women and how we can get you to your goals with women in the easiest, quickest way possible, I am offering free breakthrough sessions where you and I get on the phone together one-on-one.

2:06 We talk anywhere from half an hour to an hour about your situation and whether or not I think I can realistically help you. So if you're interested in that, click the link in the description below or go to coachmarksing.com. Click on coaching. Check out the testimonials, the reviews. They're all legit. None of those are fake. They're all real from real clients. And as you guys have probably heard in my previous podcasts, I get guys' results. So I'm not going to tout on about that in this one.

2:31 Let's go ahead and jump into the content because there is a lot to cover. So I'm starting this podcast with the old caveat. I don't agree with this. I do not agree with it. I think it's fucked up. Why do we have such a scarcity mentality where we have to go after the friend of a girl who we're dating who, if you listen to my content or better yet, coaching program is probably going to be catching feelings for you. You know, if you want to do this to a girl who really likes you and you like her friend better, I think it's fucked up.

3:00 Just break up with her and go get a different girl. Bro, there's millions of girls in your city. Why do you have to focus on this one? Why? Because you have a scarcity mindset. You don't think you can meet other girls. So you want to get the girl who's in your immediate proximity. So you want to dump this girl, hurt her feelings, date her friend. What do you think it's going to do to the friendship, right? What do you think it's going to do to that?

3:20 So the only situations that I suggest doing this in is when you've had maybe one or two dates. And I'm actually recording this podcast for my client, Shane, who asked me this question. And I said, hey, bro, I'd love to answer it for you, but this is such a good topic. Let me just go ahead and do a podcast and I dedicate it to you. So Shane, this one's for you, my brother. So he's like, listen, sometimes I'll go on like one or two dates with a girl.

3:45 You know, I end up meeting her friends or I see her friends through social media. Her friends are way better than she is. How can I upgrade to the friends? Okay. First of all, it's not easy. It's not like the six magic words where she just says, oh, you're right. I don't want to date you. Let me introduce you to my hot friend and I'm going to hook you guys up. Obviously, brother, it doesn't work that way. So the easiest way to do it is before she catches feelings.

4:10 Okay. So the basic protocol for how to break it off with a girl. And I suggest you guys write this down, even in situations where you're not trying to like upgrade to her friend, but the basic protocol goes something like this. Hey, listen, I think you're a great girl. I had a lot of fun with you, but I don't think we had the kind of chemistry that would justify continuing this on further. I don't want to waste your time and I know you don't want to waste mine.

4:35 So I think it's best we part ways. Okay. So women are always thinking about time, right? Because their sexual marketplace value is much shorter than ours. Like they have a peak period of probably maybe 10, maybe 15 years, usually somewhere in their twenties is when their peak sexual marketplace value peaks at its top. And you can't really blame women who want to upgrade from guy to guy either. I know that pisses a lot of you guys off. Perhaps you've been dumped by girls, but look at their shoes, right?

5:05 Like they want to meet the highest quality guy and they only have so much time to do it. So you can only expect for them to upgrade from guy to guy to try to get the best guy they can. And that's what you're doing too, bro. Like if you're dating a girl and you want to go after her friend, obviously you're trying to do the upgrade plan. The old super size me. Do you want large fries? Yes, please. How about super size? I'll take it. Super size the Coke too.

5:29 So I can drink a gallon of that shit and be what's akin to a head on a morphine drip, just getting high off of all that sugar. But I digress, boys. We're always trying to go for the upgrade plan, aren't we? So don't get pissed off when girls do it to you, bro. Cause you know, you do it to girls as well. The trick of course is to become the best man you can be. So you can beat out all those other guys. That's the secret.

5:50 So as a woman is trying to find the best man for him, she's thinking about time. So when you say something along the lines of, Hey, listen, I don't think we have the chemistry to justify continuing this forward. I don't want to waste your time. That really resonates with kind of the female perspective. And it usually goes over pretty well that way. Now, once again, if you want to upgrade to her friend, I strongly suggest you do it before you have sex with her, before she catches feelings for you.

6:18 If you had sex with her, it's a lot harder. It's a lot harder. Why? Because her friend knows you had sex with her. Trust me, many of my clients, as well as I dare say myself, have tried to skip over to the friend and I've been successful a couple of times, but most of the time, the friend doesn't want to stab her friend in the back, right? She doesn't, she's going to be like, Oh no, I mean, I'm attracted to you, but I don't want to do that to Kelly.

6:41 So what you have to do as well is when you break it off with the first girl, before you upgrade to her friend, you have to almost make it seem like it was her idea by saying, I think you'll agree that we didn't have the chemistry to continue this forward, right? I don't want to waste your time and I know you wouldn't want to waste mine. So I think it's best we part ways, but I definitely still want to be friends and then you can put it in parentheses and I mean that seriously.

7:08 Okay. So what you do is you kind of make it her idea. So check this out quick story. And this is such a stupid story, but it's the only thing I thought of right before I recorded this is when I was in high school, that's right in the 1900s, 1990s, to be precise, hacky sacking was the big thing. So as I've told you guys before, bro, I didn't go through puberty until I was 19, didn't lose my virginity. And until I was 21, I was super beta cuck, super insecure, super beta cuck.

7:36 So I have my hacky sack in Spanish class and I'm playing with my hacky sack and then I turn around and the fucking thing's gone. Well, this asshole football player guy, right, the freaking head of the football team, dating the hot chair later, the complete cliche of how it usually is. He fucking stole it and I knew he stole it. So I was like, God damn it, he stole it. Chad stole my hacky sack and what do I do? Well, what I did is I waited a few days and then I saw it like in his book bag and I went over to him and I'm like, bro, you found my hacky sack.

8:07 Dude, thank you so much. And I grabbed it and I was like, bro, thank you for finding it, man. I really appreciate it. And he kind of looks at me and he's like, yeah, yeah, bro, sure. And that's how I got my hacky sack back. So what psychological loophole did I use there? I gave him an excuse because if I accused him and said, bro, did you steal my hacky sack? He's going to get entrenched in his position, isn't he? Instead, I gave him an excuse so that he can fall back on that excuse and allow me to do what I want to do.

8:33 Well, that's what we're doing with the girl you're dating as well. Is you're like, hey, listen, I can tell you're not really into it or I think you'll agree you and I didn't really have the kind of chemistry to justify continuing this forward. And then what you do is you kind of like give it to her, make it her idea. I actually did this the other day in a reverse way for one of my clients. My client got stood up by a girl. He got flaked on.

8:56 So he's like, bro, what do I do? I said, text her and say, hey, sorry for flaking on you. So he actually claimed the flake so that she can make an excuse to keep talking to him. And now he's in the power position. Do you see how that works? So she flaked on him and he's like, hey, sorry, I totally spaced it. Completely forgot. Sorry about flaking on you. And then we said this. We actually texted her live in the coaching calls. Dorian, if you're listening, what is up, my dude?

9:24 So we actually texted her live in the coaching calls. Sure enough, bro, she came right back. So we said, hey, sorry to flake on you. I completely spaced it. I feel like an asshole. If you want to send me a letter of anthrax, I'll give you my address and you can send that right away. So sure enough, he took responsibility. He flipped the frame. Now he's in the power position. She can come back because she has an excuse to come back. And she has an excuse not to lose attraction for him.

9:49 Do you see like the complicated way this works? So sure enough, she comes back and then we were bantering with her. And then he said, once they set up the next date, if you flake on me, I'm going to send you the letter of anthrax. She thought it was funny. Now they're going to go on a date again. So there's certain ways to flip things on people to make it one person's responsibility to alleviate the responsibility of the other so they can accept the decision you made, if that makes sense.

10:17 I know it's like fucking mind judo trying to figure this all out. But basically what you do, bro, is you say, hey, listen, I can tell you're not really into it. I think you'll agree. We don't have the chemistry to continue this forward. So I don't want to waste your time. I know you wouldn't want to waste my time. Let's go ahead and part ways. However, I think you're a really cool girl. I love hanging out with girls. I have tons of girlfriends. We do things all the time.

10:40 I definitely want to stay friends. And I mean it. I definitely want to stay friends. So now you friends on her. But what you have to do soon after that is legit invite her and her friends to some event. OK, so when you guys are in the coaching program, we come up with lots of different ways to be kind of the center of attention. If that's the way you want to go, you don't necessarily have to. Some of my guys focus on online dating. Some of my guys focus on cold approach.

11:07 Others of my guys focus on setting up some other kind of top of funnel idea. But if you're a social kind of guy and you hang out with lots of people anyway, this is a great opportunity to invite her and her friends to some event. And honestly, if you want to get rid of this girl and yank her best friend, this is kind of the only way to do it is you have to like invite them to a social event. I don't know, like a concert out to the bars, out drinking, out shopping, maybe a dinner thing at your house where everybody comes and dresses up and you friends on this girl and you're super cool to her.

11:43 OK, so what I always teach in my coaching is never be needy, never supplicate, never like like kiss this chick's ass. But in a way and kiss an ass isn't really the right way to explain it. But in a way, you kind of want to be that way when you friend zone her. You want to be like a great friend to her, someone valuable, because back to human psychology, she's thinking, what's in it for me? Why would I go on a date with this jackass and then go hang out with him after?

12:09 Girls don't want to do that, right? Come on. Do you really want to hang out with the chick who doesn't offer you any value, who also blew you out and who just wants to be your friend? Fuck no. You're going to be like, yeah, yeah, we'll be friends. Right. And then you block her. So you legit have to offer value. And if you're in a social situation where you can offer that value, like I said, you have tie ins to the nightclubs. You have like a dinner event at your house.

12:36 Maybe you're going to a concert and maybe you'll have to float the tickets, right? This is the kind of level you need to go to in order to be friends with her. Now for you younger bucks or you guys in different situations, you may be in a situation where she's in your group of friends and you just see her at school or in your social group, which is fine. But again, you have to make it like she decided. It's like, yeah, I can tell you're not really into it.

12:59 And to be honest with you, neither am I. So let's go ahead and part ways. What is she going to do? Argue with you? No, she's going to pretend even if she has to pretend to go along with it because like the hacky sack example, you gave her an excuse. So you give her the excuse. She says, yeah, you're right. I totally agree. She's going to go along with it. Now, when you're hanging out with her and her friend, obviously you got to like hang out with her friend.

13:24 You can't just start texting your friend. Maybe there's some ways to do it over social media, but bro, like if you really want to yank her friend, you got to get in proximity with her so you can explain to her that it just didn't work out, right? There just wasn't chemistry between Kelly and I, you know, but we're great friends. We just feel better as friends. You know what I'm saying? And then if homegirl starts getting attracted to you, the target, let's call her, she starts getting attracted to you.

13:49 She's not going to feel guilty for hooking up with you because she doesn't think that her friend had feelings for you. And her friend probably won't even say she has feelings for you because again, you gave her the hacky sack excuse. See how that works? So now you're in the clear and you have to have these lines clear. It's like on a sailboat, bro. When your ropes get mixed up, everything gets fucked up. You're going to run into a goddamn reef. So you need to keep all your lines clear, everything organized.

14:18 I want some epic bow lines tied up on the starboard bow. You got to run a tight battleship, bro. I'm bouncing quarters off your bed. I'm making sure your shoes are polished, your hat's on straight, and you got to pop in your giddy up and a glimmer in your eye, man. That's the kind of level I need you to hit. I need you to be organized, concise. You need to think chess, not checkers. Okay. So blow the girl out. Now you're starting to hang out with her friend.

14:40 And what you do, bro, is you just drop attraction, attraction, attraction. Now I've done 250 some odd episodes about how to get a woman attracted to you. Go listen to those if you don't know how to do it. But ultimately, the only problem that we're dealing with here in this episode is neutralizing the obstacle. Because this girl that you were dating is essentially an obstacle to getting the new girl who you want. So that's how you do it. You make it her idea. Give her the excuse.

15:09 Blow her out before you have sex with her. And then invite her and her friends to some event, house party, dinner guest, concert, bar, whatever. And then you start chatting up her friend, let her friend know that, yeah, Kelly and I mutually agreed. It just didn't work. And then I would use all the techniques, bro. I'd do like storytelling. I'd do the cube. I'd do cold reading. I would bring other girls around her. I'd even talk to her about a new girl that I'm dating who's going Stalker, Texas Ranger on me, keeps blowing up my phone.

15:40 My phone is getting texted so much by this girl. It's starting to overheat. And last night it burned a fucking hole in my pants is what I always say. And it makes them laugh. So maybe we go dancing. I take her swing dancing. I see that other girls are into me. And then when I can tell the attraction is really on a high, this is what you say. You say, hey, listen, you know, I know I was dating Kelly, but as you know, we weren't really into each other.

16:05 I know she didn't really have any feelings for me. I didn't really have any feelings for her. However, I know you want to respect your friends. So I don't want to be pushy, but honestly, I like you. I like you a lot. I think we get along. You're beautiful. I would love to hang out with you sometime. Again, I don't want to trounce on your relationship with your friend. I personally think she'd be okay with it, but I want to leave it up to you. I'm not going to force you to do anything.

16:28 So if you want to toss me your number tonight, I'd love to talk to you. Okay. So again, this is a psychological tactic, guys, where you leave it up to her. You're not pushing her. You're not trying to convince her. You put it in her court to decide if it's okay that she gives you her number, right? And sometimes things like this are counterintuitive because sometimes you really want to lead her and say, you know what? She's fine with it. Give me your number. We got to do this.

16:54 We totally get along. But I'm telling you, in this situation, you need to make her feel like it's her choice and she's in the power because her guilt conscious is going to try to talk her out of it if she feels like you're pushing her into it. Because she can tell on some level that you probably dumped her friend in order to upgrade to her. Girls aren't stupid, bro. They're super intuitive. So don't underestimate them. And in situations, and this is true for sales, you need to leave it up to the prospect, their decision.

17:22 And I actually just read this book. Lester, thank you for suggesting this to me. It's called Flip the Script by Oren Klaff. And it talks about how when you're going to ask the person to make a decision that you want them to make, you say, listen, this is your decision. I don't want to be pushy about it. It's totally up to you. You got to make them feel autonomous, which means they make the decision. People don't like to be sold to. They don't like to be convinced.

17:48 They like to be told, hey, listen, I'm here for you, bro. I want to work with you, but it's up to you. I can't make you make a decision. So up to you, bro. Like, what do you want to do? And that's the way it is with my coaching, right? If you guys want to meet with me, go for it. I can't make you do it. It's totally up to you. Do you vibe with me? Do you feel good about me? Do you have that intuitive nudge to meet with me because you think I can help you?

18:10 Personally, I think I can help every single last one of you guys. I'm going to be honest. And I'm amazed that every single one of you doesn't want to get on a free breakthrough session with me. It fucking blows my mind, to be honest, especially if you're listening to podcasts like this one, like you want to get better with girls. I literally do not understand it. But, dude, I can't be pushy. I can't be pushy. I can be confident, but I can't be pushy. So in that situation, that's what you say.

18:34 Hey, listen, you know, I know your friendship with her is super valuable, and I would never want to step on that. I love you guys as friends, but I'm attracted to you, and I want to get to know you better. What happened with us? It just didn't work. It was like a round peg, square hole. It didn't work, and she felt the same way. Personally, I think she'd be totally fine with it, but I want you to make the decision. So what do you want to do, right?

18:56 And then she's like, oh, yeah, it should be fine. She slips you her number, and you're in like Flynn, bro, and then you go on a date with her. So like I said, man, it ain't easy. I'm not going to give you the six magic words where the girl you're dating blows herself out so hard she flies upward through a skylight, and then into the scene slides this new hot girl who's half naked and ready to have sex with you because of the six magic words that Mark Singh taught you.

19:20 Don't exist, bro. Don't exist. And anyone tells you that they do, they're lying. I remember in this pickup artist field, probably like 10 years ago, there was actually a big marketing movement, and one guy, I read his sales script, and I saw the video. They put it on Pornhub. It's like, do you want to learn the six magic words to make a girl jump in the air and slide onto your dick? You'll just be walking along, and you'll say this randomly to some woman, and she'll jump right onto your dick.

19:50 Bro, this was literally the marketing message of these guys like 10 years ago, and they sold. They sold. People actually believe this shit, but with me, man, I don't bullshit it. I had a guy hire me today, and I told him straight up. I was like, listen, bro. So if you go through my three months, continue doing the work, continue practicing. When you get done with the three months, you're going to know more than 99% of the population, but it's still going to take you a year to get where you want to get to.

20:15 Now, where this guy wanted to get to was like solid tens, a fucking harem of them, a rotation of them, absolutely killing it. I said, it's going to take you a year. It's going to take you a year. Other guys have told me it takes them eight weeks, and I'm usually right, and I always under-promise and always deliver, but I'm always straight up with dudes. So there is no six magic words, boys. If you want to upgrade to a new girl, it's a fucking campaign. It's a headache, and once again, I don't agree with it.

20:39 In certain situations, okay, I can see why you'd want to do it, but why? There's so many girls out there, and I guarantee you there are equally hot ones, equally charismatic ones, equally amazing ones as this girl you're fixated on. Who's the friend of a girl you're dating? I mean, talk about scarcity mentality. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. It's absolutely unnecessary. Just get the skills, man. Just get the skills. You'll be dating four girls a week, man. You'll have tons of girls in your phone.

21:07 You'll be texting all the time. You'll literally need to keep spreadsheets to keep track of what you said to who, who is who. I used to have in my phone literally a spreadsheet. I'd be like, okay, Kelly, blonde, met her at the coffee shop. She likes hockey. Okay, Jessica, Burnett, met her on the sidewalk, accused her of being an ice cream man, and I ran a cold read on her and the cube on her. I would literally need to keep that kind of track of the girls I was dating, and I do suggest Google Sheets for this.

21:37 Google Sheets is absolutely phenomenal for it. But it's like when you have so much abundance, why do you need to take all the berries from one plant, right? In bushcraft, we always say that if you're going to take berries from a plant, only take like 10% to 15% so the plant can survive. Well, that's kind of what you're doing. You're going into this like friendship, and you're pissing all over it. Why would you even want to do that? But again, certain situations, and I've done it myself. I've done it myself, so that's how I did it.

22:04 You got to make it into her idea and then tell the friend, hey, listen, I don't want to ruin your friendship. If you're cool with it, I'd love to talk to you. That's the way to upgrade to her friend. So, boys, I hope you got something positive out of this. If, again, you want to meet with me, you know what to do. Click the link in the description below. I'd also very much appreciate a review. Email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com. And listen, if you vibe, subscribe because I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, and I really try to give quality information.

22:35 I really try to give something that's going to help you guys in every podcast. I try not to just ramble on about bullshit or repeat too much stuff, although that's inevitable in this space. But I really try to give value. So, come on back. Listen to my previous podcast. And, again, if you want to meet with me, bro, I want to meet you, man. And, again, I don't understand why you guys aren't doing it, but I get enough, dude. I get enough. So, there's abundance, and I'm wholly satisfied with the amount of dudes I'm meeting.

23:01 All you guys who have met with me are champions, and, honestly, you guys listening are champions too. I know some of you guys are just like, bro, I don't have the money. I would if I could, but, obviously, you know, you charge more than a couple hundred bucks for your program. I get it. I get it. But when the financial situation is there, I'd love to meet you, brother. I really would. So, thank you again for listening, boys. I really do appreciate it. And I will see you in the next episode.

23:23 I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.