What to do When You Just Got Broken Up With (And How to Get Her Back)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Uniform Mike Papa, The Unapologetic Man Podcast. My name is Mark Sing, and I am your host. And what we do in this podcast is try to give information about becoming the best version of yourself you possibly can be, and as a side benefit of that, how to get women.

0:38 Now, a lot of my titles are all about getting women, but you and I both know the truth of the matter. When you increase yourself as a man, when you make growth your number one priority, and when you know that your purpose in life is self-discovery and becoming the very best version of yourself you can be, Women are a side benefit, brother. But one of the fun things that we do in this podcast is talk about how to get higher quality women, how to not get dumped by women, and things like what to do when a girl just broke up with you.

1:08 And brother, if this is the reason you clicked on this podcast, first of all, man, sorry that happened to you, brother. I'm really sorry that happened to you. And I think as you continue to develop yourself, you'll realize that, and I know you won't like to hear this, but you realize that a lot of the reason was kind of your fault. It was kind of your fault. And I know a lot of guys who are hurting, that's the last thing they want to think. They think it's her fault.

1:31 They think that she's the reason that she left you. But let's be honest, you didn't keep her attracted. And I'll tell you, the only way you can get a girl to stay with you, and this is true no matter if you're married to her, this is true no matter how many agreements you have in place, the only way, and I hope you can predict what I'm going to say, is to make her fall in love with you, to get her emotionally invested. If she's not emotionally invested in you, if you're not controlling the frame, if you're not giving her the experience and letting her move into her femininity, but instead making her move into her masculinity, turning her off, making those panties that she's wearing as dry as the Sahara Desert, you are going to lose her.

2:13 And this is probably what happened to you. And it's not your fault, brother. You didn't know. You didn't know. It has nothing to do with who you are as a man, because I believe deep inside, we are all enlightened beings. We are all girl magnets. We are all money magnets. But the difference is how much work have you done on yourself to reveal that inherent self-esteem you were born with? Because what happens is we're born with perfect self-esteem. Then it gets covered up by other people's bullshit, life experiences.

2:43 And unless you work on yourself to clean up the mess, it's like having a dirty backyard full of trash and plastic bags and all this crap, and you never clean it up. And then you expect somebody to live there and continue paying rent, right? It's not going to happen. And frankly, since you didn't know the rules of seduction, which are very complicated and fascinating, by the way, she left you. So the first thing is A, forgive yourself. You didn't know. They know not what they do.

3:10 B, forgive her. You would have probably left you too, right? Let's be honest with each other. You would have left you too. And now that you're listening to this podcast, you have renewed your commitment to getting good with women, to understanding female psychology, to bettering yourself as a man, which by the way, is the number one purpose that you should have in your life. And when she sees that, there's a very good chance she's going to come back. Now, here's the juxtaposition. You can't do all this to try to get her back.

3:37 You have to do it for you because it's only when you do it for you that she's going to come back. But this episode is specifically tailored to let you know what you should do when you've lost your woman. Okay. So as my good buddy, John Anthony always says, bro, when you lose one girl, go date four more. Now it seems simple. It seems kind of elementary. It seems maybe even immature, but it's pretty damn good advice because I'll tell you one of the best remedies for having oneitis, which means being stuck on one girl.

4:05 One of the best remedies for having a broken heart is to go date other girls. Now, at first you're going to feel numb. It's not going to feel good. You're going to be like, man, why am I doing this? But I urge you to at least go through the motions. Okay. You're just going to do it. And what I suggest you do, go get on the dating apps, brother. Because if you just got rejected by a girl, I can only assume that you weren't on the dating apps for a while.

4:31 And what I do is I'd get on probably seven dating apps. I'd get on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Match, Coffee Meets Bagel, Facebook Singles, and maybe like OkCupid. Okay. So I get on like seven of them. And what I do too, personally, it's just me, is I would hire uncle Mark Singh and go through his three month coaching program, which teaches you not only everything you need to know about female psychology, but we also help you set up your dating profiles. And three of my hottest girlfriends, Marissa, Lindsay, and Alicia come over to the house and they go through your pictures personally, tell you which ones to drop, which ones to keep in which order to use them in.

5:05 Then I give you templates to use, which you send to women. And as a lot of my clients find out, they work really fucking good. Give you templates for how to close dates. Oh my God, bro. You'll have fucking four dates so fast. You won't even know what happened. So what you do is you start dating other women. You move the fuck on all this chasing her, all this trying to convince her, all this stalker, Texas ranger shit that you want to do. And I get it.

5:32 Emotions are strong. I know you're hurting right now, but all that shit, you have to drop it, bro. Do not indulge the urge to chase her. That is the worst thing you can do when you lose a woman. The best thing you can do, drop her ass like an old habit, drop her ass like a sack of potatoes that you don't want to deal with anymore. Delete her from your accounts. Stop talking to her. Move on. Better yet, start dating other girls and show that you've moved on.

6:01 Okay. This is one of the ways you're going to get her back because women are constantly looking for signs that you've changed when they've dumped you. Okay. So you didn't make the cut. And what I'm almost guaranteeing happened is you let her have the frame. You put her too much in the masculine role. You were too needy. You were giving her way too much attention. You maybe were too affectionate. You were too vulnerable and you chased her away. Okay. So what you do is opposite. Don't you?

6:28 Because that's what she wanted from you to begin with. She's like, God, this guy is like, you know, he's too needy, man. He's too dependent. Or maybe you were a pussy in front of her or maybe, I don't know, a myriad of different things, which all resulted by the way from the bullshit in your head. The biggest war you're ever going to fight is the one between your two ears. And if you lose a woman, you lost that fight in one way or another. And the cool thing is women are attracted to fundamental signs of success and survivability.

6:54 So when you improve yourself as a man, which is why I say growth should always be your prime directive. When you grow yourself as a man, women will come because you just act naturally how a ladies man acts. So most of the coaching that I do is simply on the bullshit in your head. Now, of course there's tactics and there's things like the Tinder profile where I show you how to set it up and what messages to send. There's tons of tactics, what to talk about, how to yank a number, how to get the first date, what to do on the first date, how to physically escalate.

7:24 It's all there. But the most important part of my coaching is the shit in your head. And as all of you guys know, I use NLP. I'm not going to get into it. I know I talk about it all the time. Go listen to another podcast and you'll find out all about it. But with NLP, we reprogram that shit. So the next time you get with her or any other girl, you have the skill set to make her fall in love with you. And I don't like that term, make her fall in love with you because it seems manipulative.

7:47 It's not. It's just you being a fucking champ and her falling in love with you on her own accord. It's just an easier expression, make her fall in love with you. So I'm going to stick with it. You make her fall in love with you, bro. She's not going anywhere. This is the way to keep a woman loyal. Okay. So she dumps you first step, bro. Pull back. Okay. I know it's the last thing you want to do. You want to chase her. You want to convince her.

8:11 You want to rationalize her into submission. You want to send her your resume and say, okay, you know, before I did this and this, but, but I listened to two of Mark Sings podcasts and I understand frame control now. And, and I'm going to control the frame on you. Will you take me back? Which is like the opposite of control in the frame, right? Bro, you have to show, not tell with women. Big concept that I want you guys to really get deep inside your skull noggin.

8:37 Show, don't tell. How do you show her that you've grown? How do you show her you're now controlling the frame? How do you show her that she has to chase you to get you back? You pull away. I know it's the last thing you want to do. You date for other girls. I know that's something you probably don't want to do either. You get on dating profiles. And if she sees via Facebook, via Instagram, see what I do is I'd keep one account with her active.

9:00 So like I would even do this when I have a girlfriend, I make sure that we're connected on Instagram so that if we break up, she can still stalk me. I have a whole story about a girl who I did this to, who she broke up with me. And then what I did is I just showed that pre-selection on Instagram, on Facebook. She started stalking me and lo and behold, bro, clockwork. Three months later, she comes knocking back. Okay. So what you do is you date other girls.

9:27 You make a commitment to go into an immersion phase where you were going to better yourself. You take the pain and I know the pain, brother. I know the pain. If I can give you a hug right now, I would, man. I fucking caught my first love when I was 21 years old having sex with another guy in her dorm room. Do you understand the sheer pain that that gave me? It was like, bro, I drove home and I was going literally 25 miles per hour on a 65 mile per hour freeway.

9:58 People were honking at me. I like wanted to commit suicide. I was laying on my bed in the cannonball position, literally for two weeks crying. My roommates would come check on me. They almost wanted to commit me because my heart was so broken. This led me on a path to figure out what did I do wrong? How did I chase away this girl? I treated her like gold, bro, like gold. I'd do anything for her. I did her favors. I showed up whenever she wanted me.

10:23 I was funny. I was charismatic. I was always there. And that's why I chased her away. I gave her the frame. I was super needy. I didn't implement all the rules that I've created based off that experience and thousands of others to be able to seduce and keep a woman correctly. And one of the techniques is to pull back, date other girls, change yourself as a man. Show her you've changed. Remember, show, don't tell. Once she sees this, when she knows that you've changed, there's a very high chance she's going to come back.

10:53 But here's the thing. When you've really developed yourself, when you've really become that next best version of yourself, which by the way, is the purpose of life and what we should all be trying to do. When you've done that, here's the thing. You're not going to even take her back. You're going to meet a better girl and you're going to be like, bro, why was I so hung up on this girl? With Krista, who was the girl who cheated on me in her dorm room, she was a seven, bro.

11:14 A seven all the way around. Not just looks, although in looks, she was a seven too. Personality, relatability, ambition, everything about her was like meh. But I was ready to fall in love. I was super primed. My dad died when I was 10 and I really needed a lot of attention from my mom, which she wasn't able to provide me because she had to work to support the family. So I was super fucking needy, dude. And the first girlfriend I got, I latched onto her like a goddamn tick on a hound, dude.

11:46 And this chick was always like, Mark, I love you, but it's just like too much. And I'll be like, no, but I don't know. And like try to rationalize her into it. And listen, Mark of the past, bro, I give you a big hug too, man, because you didn't know, brother, you didn't know. You did what most guys do, which is rationally think, how can I make this person like me? By doing them favors, by giving them compliments, by being available anytime, by giving them my nuts in a knapsack and giving them the power.

12:10 This is like rationally what we think we should do. And I can almost guarantee you, if you've been broken up and you're listening to this episode because you're looking for something to do after you've been broken up, this is what you did too. And I know a lot of you guys are nodding. You're like, yeah, dude, I did one of those things or many of those things, or even all those things, chased her away. She broke up with me. Now she's looking for that in some other guy.

12:35 And who can blame her? We're always trying to better our situation. That's human nature. You need to become the best situation for that girl. You need to be a fucking 10 when she looks at you. Not only does she feel these amazing emotions, but she's like, there's no way I could do better than this guy. He's ambitious. He's confident. He controls the frame. He makes me wetter than the Costa Rican rainforest. When he gives me an orgasm, I scream so loud, the fucking windows shatter. This is the level that you need to take the next woman to.

13:08 Now, as I said, when you become that dude, she's going to come back. But just like with me and Krista, Krista tried to come back. Krista tried to come back. And I said, nah, dude, I'm getting nines now. Like, why would I fuck with that? Now, there were some emotions still tied up into her. Even to this day, when I think about her and I see your picture, I can feel that love inside of me. You know, that was deep, deep, deep love. And honestly, I've never loved like that before.

13:29 I've loved differently. I love my current girlfriend more, but in a different way. But I know how you feel, bro. I know how you feel. I know why you clicked on this, but this is what you have to do. Pull back, okay? You need to snap the ties between you and her. And I think I did a podcast about psychic etheric cords. I'll just say it right now. It's kind of a spiritual thing, but this really helped me when I broke up with Krista, but also some toxic friends that I've had to part ways with.

13:57 So what the theory is, is that there's cords running between our heart and the hearts of others, anybody that we're connected with. So what you do meditation where you visualize the cord and you take a big pair of scissors and you cut it, you cut the cord, the cord goes back to her, your cord comes back to you. And then there really is a kind of spiritual, energetic, freeing feeling that comes when you do that. So I would always do that every time I had a falling out with a friend, I would break up with a girlfriend.

14:27 I do that to just get rid of her, to just get rid of that energy, because I feel people get connected. And you guys know this just as well as I do. When you're really close with somebody, you'll think about them and they'll call you. You guys will finish each other's sentences. That's right. You just finished my sentence, bro. Finish each other's sentences. You guys will connect on that deeper level. So cutting that cord, it's called psychic etheric cord. You could look it up on Google is a good way to do it.

14:55 And then bro, you get on the dating apps, you go out, you get numbers, you meet new girls. This is the best way to get over her. But not only that, it's also the way to get her to come back. But the most important thing you can do is work on yourself. Become the guy who she wanted you to be, who frankly, she was hoping you'd be in that relationship. And yeah, bro, it was your fault that you lost her. I know she did some fucked up shit.

15:20 I know she wasn't perfect. You guys perhaps argued. She had her issues too. But in my opinion, if a girl leaves you, it's mostly your fault because you weren't able to keep her attracted, especially if you wanted to keep her. See, if you wanted to keep her, you can't tell me it was her fault because you still wanted her there, right? I get it. Like some chicks have loose morals. She's a cheater, but bro, she wouldn't have cheated on you unless you fucked up and lost her attraction, right?

15:44 It's our job to keep her interested in us on a highly emotional level. So now that you've learned that, use this as motivation to better yourself, use this as motivation to understand the rules of attraction, to understand female psychology. And the next woman you go with, who you really like, you're going to be like, okay, bro, I can't be so needy. I can't be so try hard. I can't give her the frame. I have to only see your 80% of what she wants to see me. And then that's going to keep her interested.

16:18 I remember after Krista, I was dating this super hot Japanese girl when I lived in Hawaii. Her name was Mai. And I hadn't heard from her all day. And we used to like text, you know, a couple of times a day. And so I'm out at night riding my motorcycle. I don't know what I was doing. And her house was kind of like on the way home to my house. And I stop in front of her house and I'm looking across the street and I see her lights on in her room.

16:38 And all these thoughts are going through my head, right? Cause I got cheated on by Krista. So, you know, I was a little bit paranoid. So I'm about to get off my motorcycle, go knock on the door and say, Hey, what's up? Haven't seen you. What's up? And she probably would have let me in. She probably would have had sex with me. It probably would have been kind of okay. But ultimately what I would have done is plant a seed of neediness, plant a seed of unattractiveness, which would have sprouted and grown into her breaking up with me.

17:03 So what did I do? I'm like, shook my head. I'm like, you motherfucker, go get out of here. So I get back on my motorcycle and I go, I don't text until she texts me. And what happens the next day? She's like, Hey, sorry about yesterday. I was studying, had a final today, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, Oh yeah, no worries. No big deal. And then I kept her attracted. And eventually I was the one who broke up with her. But that's why I was able to be in that power position is because I only gave her 80% of what I wanted to give her.

17:35 I wanted to give her a hundred percent, but she gave me, let's say she wanted to hang out five days a week. I would only hang out four. Let's say she gave me 10 compliments. I'd only give her eight. And you may think this is manipulative, but this is what you do when you're highly securing yourself. And I'm telling you, I'm actually thinking about releasing a book on this because it would be so controversial and so good. The man has to be the one in power. Wouldn't that be a great title?

17:59 Dude, that would sell so many. I get so much hate mail. It would be insane, but hate mail is good. Exposure is exposure. The man has to be the one in power. Who's the one in power? The one who wants less. So I can almost guarantee if you lost your girlfriend, you were too needy, bro. You were giving her too much of you, too much certainty with this girl. So what do you do? Again, you pull back, date other girls, show pre-selection on your Instagram page, move on energetically, spiritually, mentally, and she's probably going to come back.

18:23 But you know what? When she does come back, you won't want her anyway because you've improved yourself and now you're getting even hotter girls. If you want to get a free one-on-one breakthrough session with me, go to my website, coachmarksing.com, fill out the goddamn slap in the biscuit. I will send over my schedule and you and I will get on that free session together. And I can tell you what happened. I'll be like, bro, let me guess. Let me guess this, this, and this. You're going to be like, yeah, dude, you're a mind reader, bro.

18:51 And I'm like, no, I'm not. I just understand female psychology to a deep level. And I understand male psychology too. You want to get in there. You want to dip into that, bro. You want to get it in. I get it. Been there many times, but we have to control that red helmeted warrior in our underwear. Otherwise we will be blown out so hard when the concussion hits our pants fly off. All right, gentlemen, that's it for me in this episode. As a reminder, I drop episodes on Mondays and Thursdays.

19:15 So please make sure to stay tuned for the next one. I really appreciate every single one of you. And brother, if you're hurting, pain is temporary, and this is only going to make you a better man, especially if you're listening to the podcast like this one. And especially if you want to become the best version of yourself. All right, guys, thanks again for listening. And I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.