How to Get The Number of a Bartender, Waitress, Barista, or Any Girl in The Service Industry

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me. And today, we're going to talk about how to snag the number from a waitress, a bartender, a girl at JCPenney, or anywhere else you want to go where they're providing you customer service. And a lot of you guys are misreading their excellent customer service skills for attraction for you.

0:40 And you ask for their phone number, they get embarrassed, and they tell you they have a boyfriend, or they tell you some other excuse that's a bunch of bullshit because you misread the situation. So I'm going to teach you how to read the situation better and how to do this in a way where you not only not embarrass yourself, but you also don't embarrass her. This is a very cool way that I've snagged many waitresses' numbers, many baristas' numbers, as well as bartenders' numbers, and I'm going to tell you guys all about that.

1:08 Before I jump into the content, I want to thank you guys yet again for the amazing, spectacular, mind-blowing reviews that you guys have been giving me every day. I log on, man. It just blows my mind. So much love, so much positivity and respect, you know, each of you guys, every time I read one of those, and they're getting better and better, to be honest with you. They're getting longer, more elaborate, and I just really, really appreciate it, and I always send you guys a silent thank you.

1:32 Even the ones from Great Britain, Australia, Canada, Denmark, I'm getting them from Finland, Germany, all over the place, man. I just really, really appreciate it. If you do want to leave me a review, preferably a five-star review, wait until you've heard some of my content, make sure it makes the cut, then go ahead and do so. Email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com, and I will send you three awesome programs. The Conversation Sniper, 150 Deadly One-Liners for Building Attraction, Guide to the Female Orgasm, How to Make a Woman Look Like a Screaming Demon That Just Got Hit With a Tornado, and three texts to Build Massive Attraction in Women, Impress Your Friends, Baffle Your Enemies.

2:09 All right, boys, without further ado, let's go ahead and jump into the content. So, you go to that bar, and you're talking to the bartender. She's smiling, she's flirting, you're feeling it, man. You're like, oh, this girl's into me, boy. I'm going to get this hot bartender who flirts with every single guy, but I'm not recognizing that because I think it's just all about me. So, you ask for the number, and she gives you some lame-ass excuse like she has a boyfriend. She doesn't date guys.

2:34 She meets here at the bar, which is one of the things I used to say when I was a bouncer to girls who I wasn't interested in. And she gives you that excuse, and you're scratching your head because you're like, man, she was giving me tons of attention, tons of indicators of interest, also known as IOIs. What the hell is going on here? Well, first and foremost, let's be logical about this. Obviously, she's going to use her sexiness and her attractiveness to try to get more tips, try to get more money out of the guys who she's serving.

3:03 So, of course, she's going to flirt with every single guy who's there. Of course, she's going to be super interested. She's basically like a geisha, if you really think about it. Or in Japan, they have these things called Mizu Shobai, and this is a true story. I never understood it. They would take really hot girls, not only Japanese girls, but also girls from like Romania, Russia, things like that. They'd fly them into Japan, and all these girls had to do was sit and talk to businessmen.

3:31 Talk, not even have sex with them, just talk. And these chicks would make hundreds per hour when they would talk to these guys. And it's kind of a form of being a geisha, which, as you know, is one of those experts in seduction, experts in speaking to men. And, bro, one of the hottest girls I ever dated was from Romania, and they flew her into Japan. And I saw her standing outside of one of these Mizu Shobai places in Osaka when I lived there. And I was riding my bike, and I was like, oh, my hell, that's the hottest chick I've ever seen.

4:00 So I just pulled right up to her and started talking to her. It was cool because she didn't speak English, and I didn't speak Romanian, so we spoke to each other in Japanese. It was pretty cool. Anyway, I eventually snagged her number, dated her for a little while, and I was like, dude, what's the deal? Do they ask you to, like, blowjob them, or do they ask you to have sex with them? She's like, no, they just want to talk to a pretty girl. And you guys know how it feels.

4:20 Like, when you speak to a pretty girl, there's an energy there. And bartender's not stupid. They know when they give you their feminine energy, they're going to get better tips. So they're going to flirt with you, okay? So immediately you have to know that the base level of flirting has already been raised. The bar has been raised for how much she's going to give you as far as, quote, unquote, indicators of interest, okay? So you need to kind of temper your spazziness. Don't assume that she's attracted to you just because she's being a little flirty.

4:50 She's giving you extra attention. She's playing with her hair. She's leaning in. She's complimenting you. Bro, she's a geisha, dude. She's just trying to get tips. And it could be the same thing with waitresses or even chicks who work at JCPenney. Remember, they're working for money. And they're going to use their sexuality to get more money. So the thing to do is to observe how she treats you as compared to the other clients. Now, you have to be extremely realistic. Sometimes you can have a filter in place where you're trying to screen for evidence that she's more into you than she is into these other guys.

5:22 But I want you to be wholly realistic, okay? So while you're talking to her, you're like, oh, I think she's into me. I'm going to go for the phone number. Relax, bro. Like, step back a little bit. Look at the situation. Okay? She's getting flirted with thousands of times a week. I used to be a bouncer and I've dated many bartenders. Dude, trust me. The stories that these chicks tell me is incredible. These girls get hit on all the freaking time. And it's not only bartenders, it's waitresses.

5:46 It's baristas at Starbucks. It's even the chick helping you at the shoe store or whatever like that. So, once again, you watch how she deals with other dudes and you compare that to how she's dealing with you. Now, it's totally possible that she's attracted to you. But if you compare it to the way she's dealing with other dudes and you're seeing that extra amount of femininity, that extra amount of flirting, then you know, okay, I think she's into me. I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing.

6:16 Okay? So, a couple ways to get her attracted to you. So, as I always say, and I preach this endlessly in my coaching, is you always want to leave girls on a high note. Now, the good thing about bartenders, baristas, waitresses, things like that, is usually you get to see them more than just one time. It's different than a cold approach, you going up to a girl on the street and telling her you think she's beautiful and you want to grab her number. The difference is that you're probably going to see her again and again.

6:44 So, you want to use that to your advantage where when you see her, you say something funny, you say something interesting, you try to have a good interaction with her. It doesn't always work, but you try. And then on the high note, you dip out. Okay? So, going up to a bar. What I always like to do with chicks, especially when they're working, is I like to point out a frustration that they're probably going to have and then ask them if they've dealt with the frustration in a violent kind of way.

7:11 So, here's what I always say. I'm like, so how's your night going tonight, Kelly? And she's like, oh, that's pretty good. You'd be like, you have to choke anybody out yet? Anybody tried to steal a lemon from your prized lemon tray? God, Kelly, the other week I tried to grab a lemon from your tray and you slapped my hand like a school teacher. Remember that? And she's like, no, I didn't. I'm like, yeah, you did. I'm not fucking with you. Anyway, have a good night. And she's kind of laughing, right?

7:32 Then I walk away. So, this is especially effective with people who you see all the time, right? Baristas at Starbucks, Jamba Juice, wherever you tend to go and you kind of see the same girl over and over again, I'm really about multiple touches. You don't have to try to close it all at the same time if you know that the girl is going to be there over and over again. Now, with a waitress, it may be a little bit different. You may be just stopping at a restaurant.

7:56 You're eating. You're flirting with her. Things are going well. And I'm going to tell you what to do with her in a minute. But if it's a girl where you're having multiple touches, a bar that you go to every Saturday night, the coffee shop you go to every morning where there's the cute college girl working there, okay? You do that multiple touch, try to say something funny and leave on a high note, okay? As time goes, you can build up that attraction. Now, when you walk in, you pay very close attention to how she reacts to you.

8:22 Do her eyes light up a little bit more than they would light up with a normal customer? Is she extra interested in you as compared to other guys who she's dealing with, okay? So you're getting those IOIs and you're thinking, okay, she's getting attracted to me. I'm going to go for the number. I'm going to tell you how to go for the number in a minute. But one other thing I want to talk about is pre-selection. So this especially works with bartenders. And this is how I've pulled all the bartenders I ever pulled was I would bring girls to the bar with me, right?

8:50 Girl after girl after girl. And as always, when it comes to pre-selection, you don't want to look like you're necessarily hooking up with these girls. You want to make it look like you've friend-zoned them and the girls are into you. This is the best way to use pre-selection is that you friend-zoned them and the girls are in love with you, but you're not interested. You're actually more interested in different girls. So when it comes to bartenders, I would always bring girls up. I would flirt with the girls in front of them.

9:19 I would have fun with the girls in front of them. I might spin them like a ballerina, make them laugh, and make sure that this hot bartender, and you know what I'm talking about, dude. She's like a solid nine with fake tits, just super hot blonde hair, blue eyes, like that typical bartender, right, that you really want. You're like convinced yourself you're going to get her. Bro, you have to have pre-selection. In fact, I'm going to do an episode about how to get nines and tens here in the future.

9:45 You have to, without exception, have pre-selection. What is pre-selection? Showing girls that you already have hot girls in your life because it's like a secret club. Only the elite may enter, and what is your ticket? Your ticket is proving that you have hot girls in your life already, and one of the ways to show that is via Instagram. Another way to show that is to roll in with three solid nines with that bartender who you want to yank. So the bartender sees, okay, he's in the in-club.

10:14 He's not just a douche canoe who's giving me lots of tips and sitting there looking at me with googly eyes, puppy dog eyes, and talking to me for two hours because he thinks I'm in love with him, and he's in love with me, and he's making me like an extra 60 bucks a night. Think about that. She's just a geisha in that situation. So you want to bring girls in to show her, I'm on your level, chick. Not only am I on your level, but I'm actually a little bit higher level.

10:38 So if you want to step up your game, let's go ahead and hang out. All right, so you've done all these things, and you can do the pre-selection, too, with chicks at Starbucks. Dude, I've done pre-selection with chicks at the freaking dry cleaners. For some reason, I don't know if it's just me or if you guys have the same experience, there's always a really cute girl at the dry cleaners. So I would bring girls with me to the dry cleaners, and this girl's seeing me come in with a different hot girl a couple times a week, and I would even make that part of my date plan sometimes.

11:05 When I would be running a campaign on a particular waitress, a particular barista, a particular girl at the supermarket, or again, in the example I just said, at the dry cleaners, I might even bring a chick that I'm going on a date on by the dry cleaners to pick up, quote-unquote, my jacket, so that hot girl number one can see hot girl number two, builds up my value. Now we're starting to get some attraction. Okay, so to review what we've gone over so far, first of all, don't misinterpret her trying to make more money with flirting with you.

11:37 Let's be realistic. Compare how she's behaving with you to how she's behaving with other people. Second tip is you want to do a campaign, especially if you see this girl a lot of different times. Say something funny, bounce out. Okay? Number three, show pre-selection. Show that you have hot girls in your life already. You're a cool, fun, handsome, attractive man who she'd be lucky to be with. Okay? So now you're upping your game a little bit. All right. So you got the attraction. You're pretty sure she's into you.

12:09 And you're ready to go for the phone number. So one of the worst things I see, and I hate seeing this, and I dare say I've done it myself before I came up with this other concept, is guys who just straight up ask girls who are working for their phone number in front of their coworkers. Okay? So let's put ourselves in this woman's shoes. She's working. She's getting asked for her phone number all the time, and it's embarrassing for her because she has to come up with some excuse.

12:37 She's in, like, the working mentality, and she's suddenly thrown into this super uncomfortable, awkward situation by a guy who is socially unintelligent, and she has to make up some excuse as to why she won't date you. Typical excuse is I have a boyfriend. I don't date guys or take numbers when I'm working. But usually it's just a boyfriend. Okay? Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to make it completely not awkward for her by giving her a note. This works so damn well.

13:05 I cannot suggest this enough. I actually do note tossing in situations outside of this. It may even warrant its own podcast episode. But what you do is you write down, so, hey, I can't rightly tell if you're attracted to me or you're just providing the excellent customer service you're known for. But I'm leaving you this note so I don't embarrass you in front of your coworkers. Anyway, how would you feel about tossing me your number? Or anyway, can I grab your phone number? Okay? And then what you do is you have a box that says yes and a box that says no.

13:36 And what I'd always do is I'd have an arrow pointing at the no box that says don't pick this one. Then I might have an arrow pointing at the yes box that says definitely pick this one. If you do, your wildest dreams will come true. If her and I have that kind of vibe together, right? And that's the kind of vibe you want. You want to be friendly. You want to be joking. You want to be busting each other's chops. And by giving her this note, it gives her the opportunity to, on her own time, go read it, write something down back to you without you embarrassing her, and gives her the excuse to write something down without her having to tell you straight to your face.

14:11 So in my opinion, it's a really good way to respect the fact that, dude, she's working, bro. Like, she's trying to make money. She's trying to make a living. If you were working and you're really kicking ass, like, I'm recording this podcast right now. I'm technically working. And then somebody comes up and asks me some, like, awkward question. Like, hey, hey, bro, can I have, like, $20? Like, a bum walks in right now into my studio. It's like, hey, can I have 20 bucks? I'm like, ah, nah, man.

14:32 Like, I'm working, bro. Sorry, dude. I don't have any cash, you know? And it's that awkward situation you don't want to put her in. But if, for example, somebody handed me a note right now, I could put the note down. Once I'm done recording the podcast, I could look at it and be like, oh, my hell, here we go again. Some slapjack is trying to get my freaking phone number. And I can write down an excuse. So what I'd always do is I'd fold the paper up.

14:54 I'd include the pen. And I'd kind of use the pen cap to stick it onto the piece of paper. And I'd hand it to her. And I'd say, hey, get that to me before I leave. Right? And if it's a barista, she knows how long it's going to take. You're waiting for your coffee. It's going to be a few minutes. She's going to really quickly look at it, write something down. If it's a bartender, she's going to go to the island in the bar, write it down.

15:15 And a waitress, especially, this is really good with. Because she can go in the back and really think about it and give you her number if she wants to. Now, what has my close rate been on this? Well, initially, just like you guys, it was pretty low. Because I couldn't read the difference between a woman simply being nice to me to try to get better tips and a woman being attracted to me. But as I got better and as I ran campaigns, as I implemented pre-selection, my close rate went really high because I knew.

15:44 I knew she was attracted to me. I knew she was down. I did an awesome campaign. I knew she was into it. She was asking me personal questions. That's another thing you want to look for. She was interested in, like, what I'm doing that weekend. That's a hint that women will drop when they're into you. And look, you could get phone numbers all day long. And this is the thing. Like, you see guys on YouTube are yanking phone numbers like, bro, I got, like, 20 phone numbers in one day.

16:07 So the fuck what? Are they going to text you back? No, 90% of them won't. Getting a phone number is easy. In fact, a lot of women give away their phone numbers just to shut you up and get you out of there. And you guys all know what I'm talking about. The difference is, is she going to text you back? In my opinion, they text you back when they start implying that they want to hang out. They ask things like, what are you doing this weekend? Do you like to go to fill in the blank?

16:33 How do you feel about this? They drop little hints. Bro, you text them back the next day, they're definitely going to text you back. And you don't even need the rich, interesting, fascinating content that I've created. And the reason I created it is because some of you beginners need that kind of rich content to get girls to hook. But initially, you want her to be, like, into it, really into it. She's implying it. That's the ideal situation. Then when you leave the note, hey, you know, I don't know if you're just providing that excellent, amazing, superior customer support that you're known for.

17:05 Employee of the month over here, or if you're attracted to me and you feel, as I do, that we have chemistry. But either way, I'm going to save you the embarrassment and leave you this note. How would you feel about tossing me your number? Circle yes. Circle no. Arrow pointing at the note. Don't pick this one. Blah, she goes in the back. She says yes. She puts her number on the piece of paper. You get the paper. I wouldn't suggest just opening it and reading it right there in front of her.

17:28 Grab the paper. Go out to your car. Look at it in your car. And then, boom, you have your answer. Then the next day, as I always say at 6 p.m., text her and you guys start your conversation. That's how to snag the number of a bartender, a waitress, or anybody else in a service industry. So take my advice, guys. Don't misinterpret, you know, their customer service for being into you. So many guys do this, and it makes women very uncomfortable. And we don't want to make women uncomfortable, do we?

17:57 As a general principle of my coaching, we want to leave her feeling better from having met us. And the best way to do that is to not embarrass her but still let her know you're interested. Ask for her phone number, and that way you're going to have a much higher close rate, especially, and I cannot stress this enough, if you show pre-selection. All right, boys. That's it for me in this podcast. Hope you enjoyed it. Once again, if you did, I'd very much appreciate that five-star review with some writing behind it.

18:24 Then email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com, and I will send you those three awesome programs. Also want to let you guys know that my free one-on-one phone consultation is still available. I'm getting tons of applications. I'm getting tons of guys interested. But since it's not a full coaching session, it's just about 30 minutes, I can book multiple appointments per day, meet tons of you champions. As I talked about in Monday's podcast, I just love you guys so much, respect you so much. You're my brothers, and I want to meet every single one of you.

18:56 Seriously, if you're listening to tons of my content, and you're like, man, I feel like me and Mark could be boys, I know we could be boys. I feel the same way about you, bro, and I want to meet you. So if you're interested in jumping on the phone with me, head over to my website, CoachMarkSingh.com, click on coaching, and then you can apply for that one-on-one free Zoom consultation with me. And I'm going to talk to you, see if I can help you, see if you're a good fit for coming into my three-month coaching program where we basically give you the black hole shortcut to get 10 years of experience, knowledge, brain reprogramming in just three short months.

19:32 I see you as you could be, bro, not how you are now. Every time I get on the phone call with a guy, I look at him, and I say, I can see him how he'd be as a girl magnet. We just need to reprogram some shit, teach him the laws, teach him things like I taught you today, like things you probably wouldn't have thought of just because you haven't had the majority of experience that I've had, just because you're not psychotic like I was and spent 10 fucking years trying to master this thing just because of some brain miswiring in my own head where I just had to master this.

20:02 I just had to, and I'm going to teach you all my secrets. Everything that I learn, I'm going to download into your brain. Save yourself. Trust me, bro. You want to save yourself the hassle. Jesus. Won't even believe this how many times I've been out, how many approaches I've done, how many experiences I've had. Dude, skip all that shit, man. Get straight to the top. Let me show you the shortcut. Let me put you through that black hole and get you the results in the easiest, simplest way possible.

20:29 Coachmarksing.com. Click on coaching. Click on apply. Fill out the goddamn. Send that bastard in, and we'll see about getting on the phone together. All right, boys. Once again, I do appreciate you listening. I'm following up on Monday with another. amazing spectacular podcast so stay tuned for that and i will see you in the next episode

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.