Seduction Technique #46.37: SELF DEPRECATING HUMOR

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. And today we are going to talk about seduction technique number 46.3781261 divided by 2 times 3 to the 10th power, self-deprecating humor. This is so unbelievably powerful. You know, before I was going to record this, I sat down and took some notes going through the memory bank of all the funny shit that I say to women, going through some of my lessons that I teach to my three-month coaching program clients.

0:52 And I was like, God bless America, do I use this shit a lot? And sometimes you need to actually think back to all the post-action reports that you've written, to all the times you've been in set with women and all the self-deprecating humor you've done to really realize just how important and effective this concept is to get women attracted to you. Before I jump into the content, I want to thank you guys yet again for all the amazing, spectacular, stupendous reviews. They sure do put the pop in my giddy-up, brother.

1:22 They sure do. And I want to thank you guys yet again for those reviews. If you post a review for me, please email me at coachmarksing at gmail.com and I will send you a bunch of cool shit. So without further ado, guys, we got lots to get into. So what do you say we jump into the content? All right. So here's an all-important concept that I want you to get tattooed right onto your forehead. If you try to impress a woman, if it comes off in any way whatsoever that you're trying to impress her, she is going to lose attraction for you.

1:54 And so many guys do this in such the wrong way. You see it all the time. Guys try to work into the first part of the conversation that they're a doctor, they're a lawyer, they have a Ferrari, they're millionaires, they're always trying to work it in. And trust me, through years of teaching game, I've become very good at eavesdropping. And what's really interesting is I can actually eavesdrop on conversations without the woman actually knowing I'm eavesdropping by literally standing back-to-back with my clients. It's really interesting and it's something I discovered early on when teaching infield coaching that I could eavesdrop on conversations just by standing there.

2:33 And she thinks I'm like some other dude at the bar who's like talking to somebody else. And like my ears are literally within just a few inches of his ears so I can hear everything she's saying. Well, a lot of guys, because I teach a lot of dudes and I've heard lots of conversations, they try to work in these things. And I'm telling you, even if you do it in subtle ways where you don't think you're coming off as trying to brag, you do come off like you're trying to brag.

2:57 And one of the biggest turn-offs for women is guys who feel like they have to impress them. Why? Because it's communicating to her that you don't think you're enough. You don't think you're enough, so you have to prove very quickly that you're enough and you want to get all the good things out about you before she can reject you. Well, a guy who feels like he's enough, he actually holds it back and he uses self-deprecating humor and he uses it in the right way, which we're going to discuss today.

3:26 So now that we understand that trying to impress women is a gigantic turn-off, what is actually a turn-on? The turn-on obviously is when we're not trying to impress them, when we don't give a shit what happens, when we'll even insult ourselves in the correct way, and I'm going to talk about how to do that in a second, but when we insult ourselves in a way that shows, listen, I don't even care what you think of me. Like I'm literally going to say shit to quote-unquote lower my value in your eyes, which shows I don't give a shit, and then what happens?

3:57 Well, ironically, it actually raises your value in her eyes. So let's talk about some tips and tricks for how to do that. Okay, so first of all, and the title of this podcast is self-deprecating humor, we're going to use self-deprecating humor as well as a few other methods to show that we truly don't give a shit what she thinks. Okay, so the first thing, and this is the key, you guys, to self-deprecating humor is it must come from a place of being okay with it, not from a place of insecurity.

4:29 Or she knows it's not true. So I want to say that again because this is really important. It must come from a place where you're okay with it. So for example, if you're making a self-deprecating joke about your fat because you got a beer belly and you look like a chicken McNugget with tits, it needs to come from a place where you've accepted it, not where she can feel you're a little bit insecure about it and you're trying to poke fun at yourself in order for her to say, no, no, no, you don't look like a chicken McNugget with tits.

4:58 You look like a Greek statue, right? So there's the difference there. It's very subtle, but it's very important. You're okay with it. Therefore, she's going to be okay with it or she knows it's not true. That's another thing. I'm going to get into some examples. All right. So here are some things that I typically say. And once again, I thought about this before sitting down to record the podcast and my list kept getting longer and longer. And I was like, damn, dude, I need to slow down on this shit.

5:24 This may be two or three podcasts just because I do it all the damn time. So one of the things I like to do is when I'm talking to her, I kind of like reach down and grab my belly fat. Admittedly, there's not as much there as there used to be. I literally did used to look like a chicken McNugget with tits. And I literally do look like that Greek statue now because I run a tight battleship, bro. And so can you, but I'll pretend I have some fat on my belly and I'll grab and I'll be like, I like how I'm kind of getting fat now that I'm getting older.

5:52 It keeps me warm during these cold winter months. Okay. So that's something I'll say to tell a joke, to show some self-deprecating humor, to show I don't give a shit what she thinks. Now, one thing about me is I am 44 years old. I do look much younger, but I am 44 years old. And because of that, I'm often speaking to girls who are in their early or mid twenties. So naturally I'm way older than them. Like usually I'm old enough to be their father. So I'll make fun of my age a lot of the time.

6:21 So some of the jokes I say is when I get out of bed in the morning, it's like hearing popcorn pop because all my joints are cracking. It's like, then my hip goes and then my freaking shoulder goes. And then I walk into the bathroom and it's like just popcorn is popping everywhere because my joints are popping all the time. I always tell her she has to wheel me around in a wheelchair. I'm like, listen, if we hang out, like right now I'm standing, right now I'm looking pretty good, but that's because I'm like super high on Valium and morphine.

6:50 But when I'm in my normal state, I'm in a wheelchair. Okay. I'm completely infirmed. And yes, I have a coloscopy bag. And yes, I have a bag attached to my hip, which I pee into, which you're going to have to change. But when you wheel me around, I really like to go fast. So you're going to have to run and we're going to go flying down the road. You're going to wheel me around in the wheelchair. And that always makes them crack up. I always tell them how they're going to have to install new tennis balls on the bottom of my walker.

7:14 I'm like, yeah, usually I use a walker because I'm so damn old, like 44. Listen, you're 23. You have no idea what's coming to you. 20 years from now, you're going to have a walker just like I do. And you're going to get this cute, handsome, young 23-year-old boy to install new tennis balls on the bottom of it because they go out like every three weeks. So you are my new tennis ball installer. Congratulations. You're hired. You better do a good job or I'll fire you so fast, Kelly.

7:40 And then she always cracks up. I always joke about how I have the memory of an 89-year-old man. And I actually joke a lot about that in this podcast. And it's pretty much true. Like in one ear, out the other, I don't remember anything. And a lot of times I'll forget girls' names. And this isn't necessarily good. It kind of shows you don't care. But I notice they get pissed off more than it's good. And oftentimes, which is really funny, like, bro, I'd be talking to a girl for three weeks straight, probably six total hours.

8:10 And then she'll show up and I'll be like, hey, you. And she'll be like, hey, you. Do you know my name? And I'll be like, of course I do. The real question is, do you know my name? She'll be like, yeah, Mark. I know your name. And I'll be like, fuck. And I'll be like, okay, cool. So anyway, she's like, no, no, no, no. What's my name? And I'll always forget it. And I'll be like, don't take it personally. I can't even remember my own last name half the time.

8:31 I have the memory of an 89-year-old man. So that's often what I'll say. And you guys have heard me say that in this podcast as well. Oftentimes, too, what I'll do is I'll talk about my small dick, which, of course, is not true. And that's why I can talk about it. So going into the example I just said, whenever you're making jokes, you always want to make it like it's not true or you're okay with it. But I always call it the angry inch. I'm like, yeah, you wouldn't want to date me.

8:58 And she's like, why not? And I'm like, because I'm rocking the angry inch. The little fucker's small, but he's angry. And then I'll take my thumb and, like, I'll stick it under her shoulder. I'll be like, angry inch is going to get you. And they always crack up and they laugh. But, again, the self-deprecating humor is really good when she can tell it's not true. And you're almost, like, trying to convince her not to date you because of it. This is really powerful. And I'm going to get into some more examples of this in a second.

9:23 But it's almost like you shouldn't date me because X, Y, Z. And then just talk about some shit that isn't true. And then making her laugh in the process is really, really powerful for attraction. Oftentimes, I'll ask girls. I'm like, hey, so important question for you. She'll be like, what? I'll be like, do you have a good car? Like a car that's pretty functional, doesn't have any problems, no transmission problems, is pretty reliable. And she'll say, yeah. And I'll be like, good, because I need someone to bail me out of jail at least once a week.

9:51 So I'm going to need you to drive over. And the jail is, like, really far. It's out in the middle of nowhere here in Colorado, out in the plains. So I'm going to need you to drive out there. It's an hour and a half drive. Pick me up probably about once a week. Deal, deal. And then I'll, like, I'll give her a high five. And that always makes them crack up. And of course, you know, she knows I'm not a criminal. She can look at me and tell I'm not going to jail once a week.

10:12 So that kind of self-deprecating humor is funny because it's like, what do guys do? They would do the opposite. Like, yeah, I'm a trustworthy guy. I've never had a problem with the law. I've got a great job. I've got lots of money. When you do the opposite and you kind of talk about, in a joking way, how you're a scumbag, it's attractive because you're not trying to impress her. And this is part of the reason assholes get girls. Assholes do this. Is they're not afraid to be assholes because they're unapologetic.

10:40 They're not worried about what people think of them. This is a huge skill set that assholes have and it's responsible for all the chicks that they get. And you know just as well as I do, assholes get girls. This is the reason. They have a strong frame. They're not trying to impress people. And they're willing to make fun of themselves and not give a fuck about what people think, especially women. Another thing I'll say is, you don't lie, do you? She'll be like, no. And I'll be like, good, because I don't get along with liars like me.

11:08 And that always cracks them up. You can also tell a joke about premature ejaculation. So oftentimes I'll rename myself one dip skip. I'll be like, listen, I have premature ejaculation. I just put it in and I'd be done with it. And she knows I'm joking, right? Because just the look on my face and the way I'm delivering it. So I'm like, okay, my new name is one dip skip. My new name is two pump chump. You can call me gone in 60 seconds. Go ahead and rename me squish mitten bandit because it comes that fast.

11:36 I'm the squish mitten bandit. And that always cracks them up. So in line of this, you want to make fun of those things that are unattractive about you. I'm so short. I keep getting put on horse jockey email lists. Like if it comes out that you're short, especially if you're shorter than she is, bro, you have to own that and you have to make fun of yourself about it. So yeah, I keep getting put on the horse jockey email list. You know, I work at the freak show.

11:59 I'm the world's tallest midget. Or even when you're tall, like super tall, you could be like, yeah, my lifelong dream was to become a horse jockey. I just, I don't know if it's going to happen. I'm trying to shrink, but I can't really make it happen. In my personal case, I have really skinny legs. And I'm like, yeah, these things are so skinny. I've renamed them the getaway sticks. So don't you ever kick me in the getaway sticks because they'll fucking crack and I'll have a broken leg for three months.

12:23 And you thought my grandpa wheelchair situation was bad. Just wait until my getaway sticks get cracked. You're going to be wheeling me all over town are some of the things I say. I have a lot of clients who are bald and I'm sure some of you guys who are listening are bald. What I suggest for them to say is I'm so bald when I go to bed, my head slips off the pillow. Or the one I really like is, yeah, I've spent so many years just letting things go over my head.

12:47 Like no big deal. Not taking it so seriously. It took all my hair along with it. Or if a woman makes fun of a client who's bald, I tell them to say, are you kidding me? Being bald is awesome. It used to take me like 20 seconds to get to the mailbox and back. And now I can do it in 15. This bald head makes me so much more aerodynamic. So you want to make it like you make fun of yourself. It's no big deal. You've accepted it because you'd be willing to make fun of yourself about those things which you've accepted, right?

13:15 The things which you haven't accepted, that's what you get butthurt about. So in doing this kind of fun, self-deprecating humor, you're showing her you've accepted yourself. And what's attractive? It's a man who's accepted himself, is on his inner balance point, has a strong frame, loves himself, and most importantly, doesn't care what she thinks. Okay, so more examples about some unattractive physical attributes. Me, for example, I have a big nose. And you guys may have heard me say this in a previous episode where I say, yeah, my nose is so big.

13:45 I literally can smell my neighbor's coffee brewing in the morning. And the crazy thing is my neighbor lives a mile away. Ha ha ha, right? That's me making fun of my big nose. Sometimes I'll say to girls, you know what? Even though I'm hella old and I'm super infirmed, and most of the time I have to use a walker, I have sex almost every day. I have sex almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday. Ha ha! That always gets a good laugh out of them.

14:13 So I really, really leverage the whole age thing because when I show I'm not insecure about it, and if she brings it up in the future, she won't. She won't bring it up in the future because I've shown that I don't give a shit. Cool. Like, you're young, right? All about the other. If she makes fun of me for being old, I'll be like, listen, I'm sorry you feel insecure because you're so young, but you're mature. You know, you have a good personality. You seem pretty smart for your age.

14:35 I'll always make it about her while I'm making fun of myself for it. I can make fun of myself, but if she makes fun of me, I'm either going to take that and make fun of myself even more than she did or flip it around on her and make it about her. Frame control at its very essence. All right, so there's some other things you can actually do to show that you don't care what she thinks, and this kind of goes along with self-deprecating humor, but it's slightly different.

15:00 One of the things I'll do is I'll blow my nose in front of girls. Bro, can you imagine speaking to a solid 10, right, in the nightclub, and you blow your nose in front of her? What does that communicate? That communicates you literally do not care. You do not care. Now, do I suggest you throw your leg up on her shoulder and let out a big old fart? Probably not. Probably don't want to do that, but to me, blowing your nose in front of a girl shows you don't give a shit, and it actually, so ironically, right, so ironic the way attraction works, it actually builds attraction.

15:34 My buddy who I'm going to do a podcast here on shortly, he's a natural, and he used to get on the phone with these 10s, dude, like the hottest chicks ever. He'd be like, listen, I got to get going. I got to jump in the shower and wash my ass. Anyway, see you later. So like when you say, I'm going to wash my ass, that's not something people would suggest you say to a super hot girl, wouldn't you agree? But when you say it to her, it's like a self-deprecating humor.

15:58 You show you don't give a shit what she thinks. That's why it's super attractive. One thing I'll say to girls a lot of times, I do this all the time now that I'm thinking about it, I'll say something along the lines of, you know what, I can't go home with you. I'm too shy. And they'll always laugh because clearly I'm not shy. Like I've been talking to her the whole night, flirting it up, and I'll pretend like she really intimidates me. I'll also tell her I'm a horrible kisser.

16:23 Like, oh, you don't want to kiss me. I do the helicopter tongue maneuver, and then I'll take my finger and like spin it. I do this helicopter tongue maneuver. And for some reason, no girls like that. So then I do the jackhammer tongue maneuver, and then I'll take my finger and like do the jackhammer tongue maneuver, and then after that, and I'll switch to my thumb, then the angry inch comes out, and he starts like trying to get you, and then I'll like, I'll jab her in the shoulder and stuff like that.

16:43 And it just cracks him up, and it shows it's not true. It shows I don't care. It shows I'm not trying to get anything from her. But in a weird way, I'm trying to push her away. And that's why it builds attraction. And the other thing I'll do is I'll tell girls, which is true, how I push girls out of bed when I'm sleeping with them, this is something I've done for years. I don't know why it is, but I don't like like being cooped up.

17:08 So if I'm sleeping and there's a pillow next to me, I'm going to push it out of my way. Well, unconsciously, while I'm sleeping, if there's a girl there, and girls are small, at least the ones I date are small. See, my prerequisite is can she fit in a canoe without capsizing it? Some of you other guys have different prerequisites. That's for me. So I get these like, you know, thin, small, hot girls in my bed. I literally have pushed girls out of bed, like, get away from me.

17:31 And I'll push them out of bed. And I'll tell girls about that. So as to convince them not to sleep over at my house, when in fact, me not caring and trying to do that builds more traction. So it actually increases the chances of them sleeping over at my house. Fucking Jedi level shit. Another thing I suggest for guys who are highly successful is to tell the girl that they shouldn't date you because of your success. For example, I get a lot of doctors. I get a lot of lawyers, a lot of guys who spent a lot of money on their education.

18:02 So let's say you're a doctor. You'd say, you know what? You never want to date a doctor. Do you know why? She'll be like, why? And you'd be like, because they have so much medical school debt. It's going to be like 20 years before the dude is even out of debt. I'm a doctor, for example. I'm so in debt. You never want to date me. Such a low value job. Like society says, yeah, date a doctor. Like every girl's parents wish they date a doctor. Bad idea.

18:26 Never date a doctor. They're always in debt. See how I flipped it? See how I'm not trying to convince her it's high value, but instead telling her it's bad. And in that way, ironically, it's actually good. All right. So my final point, guys, is about telling stories. Now, in my coaching, I say that telling stories is extremely important for showing her that you have a high value life, for showing her that you do cool shit, and for showing her that you have charisma and you're a good communicator.

18:56 Well, in doing this, it's important to embed high value traits, right? You have a cool life. You date hot girls. You do cool things. You're a fucking champion unparalleled by anyone in this earth. But when you do that, it can come off as if you're trying to show off to her. So what I suggest in stories is that you embed here and there self-deprecating humor. Now, once again, the self-deprecating humor can't be a real insecurity. It has to come off as you're joking. It has to come off you're okay with it.

19:27 You've accepted that part of yourself. For example, I had a client once who has a story about how his house caught on fire. He had a pet cat in his house, and he went in to get the cat. So that's a pretty heroic story, and it can come off as bragging like, oh, yeah, like my house lit on fire and my cat was dying. I went in there, grabbed the cat, saved her life, and I was in the newspaper, right? That's going to come off as bragging.

19:51 But if you say something self-deprecating like, man, when I got into that doorway and I looked in and the whole thing was on fire, I literally peddled down my leg. Like, do you know, you could just pee completely unconsciously. Well, I did. I'm not proud of it, but that's what happened. So I get in that house, peeing everywhere. I'm surprised my pee didn't even put out the fire. Finally find the damn cat, grab that fucker, and I get out. Thank God she was alive. She had some smoke inhalation, but she survived it.

20:19 I'm so glad that happened. So you see how, like, it's still a badass story about, dude, this guy's a hero. He went in and saved his cat's life. But then, like, the peeing joke, like, I was spraying everywhere. You know, I almost put out the fire as peeing so much. That's the self-deprecation you want to toss in there. You just want to sprinkle it in just to show that you're not trying to brag. You can make fun of yourself. And again, you don't give a shit about what she thinks.

20:44 All right, guys. I hope you found value in this podcast. If you did, I'd very much appreciate that review, preferably a five-star review with some writing behind it. Email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com, and I will send you a bunch of cool shit. The Conversation Sniper, 150 deadly one-liners, some of which I shared today, and there's a lot more where that came from. Three Texts to Build Massive Attraction in Women, and Guide to the Female Orgasm. Make the next woman you sleep with look like a screaming demon that just got hit with a tornado.

21:14 All right, gentlemen. This podcast drops on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode. I'll see you in the next one.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.