THE 3 BIGGEST REASONS MEN BECOME NEEDY (Ft. The 80/100 rule)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. And today, we are going to talk about the three biggest reasons men become needy, become needy, become thirsty, chase after girls, be that low-value dude that no woman wants. And it's because the three things that you're inadvertently doing, and make no mistake, I did them too, are extremely, unbelievably unattractive.

0:44 And I'm sure you guys have found that out the hard way, just as I did, man. You get needy, you get thirsty, you want too much from these chicks, and they just blow you out, dude, so fast. Your goddamn toupee flies off your head when the fucking concussion hits. Why is that? I'm going to go over that today. Before I jump into the content, I want to thank you guys for all the reviews. And I want to give a shout-out to my Australian listeners. I got to be honest, man, and Americans, Englishmen, the rest of you champions, don't get butthurt here.

1:12 But Australians are so fucking cool, man. They're just the fucking coolest people ever. I don't know what it is about Australia, but man, they just always seem really happy and positive. And it's crazy how many of them come into my program. And it's an absolute delight having you guys in the program. So I'm shouting out to all my Australian clients, all my Australian listeners, you champions that write me from Australia. And, of course, England, too. Like, I have a lot of love for England, but I don't know.

1:41 It seems like Englishmen don't really like me that much. I get hired by them occasionally, but not nearly as much as Australians. And it's crazy because the download number is exactly the same. So I think it's chalked up to what's called English cynicism. They just don't trust an American jackass like me because, you know, we saved them in World War II. We kicked their ass in the Revolutionary War. And our presidents always bitch slap your prime ministers and get them to do exactly what they want.

2:08 Relax. I'm just fucking with you. No, I love my English clients, man. I'm a huge fan of the Premier League. And every time I get an English client, I get fired up, but I get way more Australian clients. So this one is for my Aussies out there. You guys are fucking champions. Smack yourself on the ass so hard, the goddamn boomerang launches out of your back pocket when the concussion hits. That's what I'm talking about. So, boys, I want to ask you a favor. Please lace me up with a review if you find my content entertaining, if you learn some things when you listen to me.

2:39 My last podcast that I dropped on Thursday, I was really proud of that one. It's the NLP Process of Act As If. And the title is Increase Your Attractiveness to Women by 47%. I strongly suggest you listen to that one. Man, I listened to that this morning and a tear was shed, obviously in my non-shooting eye, but a tear was shed because that stuff really got to me. So check that out. And if you find value in my podcast, I really, really, really appreciate a review. If you do that, email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com.

3:10 Preferably a five-star review and preferably with some writing behind it. I know you can't do that on Spotify, but you can do it on iTunes. So if you could do that, then email me again, coachmarksingh at gmail.com. I will send you the Conversation Sniper, 150 deadly one-liners for building attraction, guide to the female orgasm, how to make her look like a screaming demon that just got hit with the tornado and then slammed with the tsunami, and three texts to build massive attraction in women. That's right, impress your friends, baffle your enemies.

3:39 I will also get a life-size statue of you put in my backyard with lay champion chiseled in the granite beneath your feet. Songs will be written about you that will be sung around campfires for generations to come, and I'm going to get your name tattooed on my girlfriend Marissa's face. That's how much I will appreciate it. So let me know if you've done that, and I will hook you up. All right, gentlemen, the three biggest reasons men become needy. Reason number one, scarcity mindset. You believe on a very subconscious level that there's not a lot of high-quality women out there.

4:11 And listen, I know it's easy to get that belief after the myriad of bad dating experiences I've had. I understand how you can buy into that. And as I always talk about on this podcast, and more importantly in my coaching, your reality is a manifestation of what you expect. So if you expect women to be untrustworthy, you expect them to be unattractive, or you struggle, as I do, with the reality that there's a lot of overweight people in your country, and it's really hard to find women who have your body type, that's something I struggle with.

4:44 If you believe that too, that's going to be your reality. So I tell myself all the time, even if it feels like I'm kind of lying to myself, and for a while there it did feel like I was lying to myself, that there are tons and tons and tons of high-quality women out there. And what happens is there are high-quality women out there. Whether or not there's tons and tons of them doesn't matter because when you believe there's tons and tons of them, you are going to attract tons and tons of them into your life.

5:13 Even if, say, for example, in your city, there's only like a couple thousand. Well, a couple thousand is a lot for one guy to go through, and there are literally a couple thousand women in your immediate area, I can almost guarantee you, that you could date and probably even have a happy life with. So when you start to believe that there's tons of women out there, that will be your reality. But the reason we become needy is because we have a scarcity mindset, and for a lot of us, once we get a high-quality woman, we don't want to lose her.

5:44 We want to hold on to her, and what we do is we act too eager. We blow out my all-important 80-100 rule, which I'll explain in a second. We become too thirsty. We want to hang out with her all the time, and we become like a mama's boy always fiending for his mom, right? We're always calling her. We're always texting her. We want to hang out. We need her to compliment us, make us feel good about ourselves. And that's needy behavior deriving from that scarcity mindset.

6:10 This is the only girl that I could get that's this good, so I need to hang on to her at all costs. Well, that's fundamentally unattractive because women are attracted to guys with options. So if you're needy towards her from a scarcity mindset thinking there's not another girl like this out there, I need to hold on to this one, she's going to become unattracted to you because neediness shows that you have no other options. Also, regarding the 80-100 rule, a lot of you guys should know this.

6:40 You should always be giving the woman 80% of what she wants from you. If you have a scarcity mindset, you're probably not going to give her 80%. You're going to give her 100% or 120% or, God forbid, 200% of what she wants from you. This is the biggest mistake most guys make when it comes to women. There's two huge mistakes. I should actually do a podcast on this. This one, which is giving her more of you than what she wants rather than less of you, which is what the 80-100 rule dictates.

7:10 And the other biggest problem is that the woman doesn't feel like you listen to her, you're compassionate with her, you're empathized with her. She feels like you're just a numbskull who isn't there in the relationship. You're not present. I should really do an episode on that. So the 80-100 rule, again, tells you to give her 80% of what she wants from you. If you have a scarcity mindset, thinking that you're not going to be able to get another girl like this, you're going to naturally give more to her than that 80%.

7:38 Now, I want to ask you, the listener, a couple of questions. I want to quiz you. Why is it that we want to give her less than what she wants from us? So take a moment to think about that. Okay, we're giving her less than what she wants. Why is that? Okay, the reason that is, is because the person who wants less is the person who's naturally in power. Now, as I always say, power isn't really a good word. What it should be replaced with in this context is the person who's leading, L-E-A-D, leading.

8:08 Okay, you as the man have to lead because the person who's leading is the one who's in the masculine role. So it's a very simple mathematical equation. The person who wants less is the person who's in the masculine role, who is the person who's leading. And therefore, if you do anything other than get into the masculine role, she's going to lose attraction for you because she's feminine. She needs to be in her feminine. You need to be in your masculine. Therefore, you have to want less than she does.

8:35 Hence the 8100 rule. So men become needy. They blow out their chances with women because they telegraph too much scarcity mindset. They go beyond the 8100 rule and then they get blown out so hard their mustache blows off their face when the concussion hits. Reason number two, mommy issues. Okay, they feel that they're not lovable. They have issues from their childhood that they're putting onto women and feeling needy for the woman to, as I mentioned, justify them, compliment them, make them feel important, make them feel loved. A lot of guys get very needy for this lack of love that came from either their mother or their father or some other past relationship where they didn't feel worthy of love.

9:18 I talked about this in my previous episode. A lot of guys who come into my program have a fundamental belief that they are not lovable. When you feel you're not lovable, what are you going to try to do? You're going to try to prove that you are lovable. But it's a bottomless pit, isn't it? It's a hole that no matter how much she puts into it, it's never enough. And some of you guys have either been this guy or you've dated women who have these issues where she didn't feel lovable and she kept needing you to prove to her that she was worthy of your love.

9:49 And no matter how much you did for this chick, it was never enough. Then she became needy towards you and you probably blew her out because it's extremely unattractive. It's more attractive when a dude does it, but it's also unattractive when a woman does it. And it's crazy to think how much our issues, our past traumas, our metaprograms can negatively affect a relationship. And this, boys, is why most relationships fail. What's the divorce rate these days? Like 75%, something insanely crazy. It's because people don't work on themselves.

10:21 And I tell guys in my program all the time, I'm like, brothers, you are in the top 0.01% Because you have invested in yourself, you're actively working on yourself, you're taking your evening, for example, to come to this coaching call. And because of that, man, you should smack yourself upside the head and know that you're a fucking champion. Because most guys don't work on themselves, let alone hot girls. And I said this in last night's coaching call. I said, how many hot girls do you think are doing, like, intensive NLP on themselves, challenging themselves to get to the next level, trying to be the very best person they can be?

10:56 There are some. I happen to be dating one. But it's very, very few. And it's no fault of theirs. It's usually because when you're a hot chick, you pretty much get a lot of things in life. Like, my hot friends, you'd be surprised at their reality. It's completely different than your reality. They get a lot of free hands in life. But at the same time, they get a lot of bullshit on top of it. So, yeah, they don't always necessarily have to develop their personality, work on their issues.

11:23 But unless they do, there are going to be problems in the relationships they get into. So, reason number two, mommy issues. Guys, if you don't work on your inner bullshit regarding your attachment style, the traumas that happened to you with your mom, any neglect you may have had, an ex-girlfriend cheating on you, an ex-wife cheating on you, getting broken up with, getting divorced, getting your heart torn out of your chest, thrown on the ground, stomped on, pissed on, and then shit on by a sumo wrestler.

11:51 If you don't delve into that and deal with it, you may have the fundamental belief that I'm not lovable, and then you get into a needy type dynamic with these chicks. And you may have wondered in the past, like, why do I get so needy? Why do I get jealous? Why do I cling on to these girls so much? Brother, I'm telling you, it's issues from your childhood. It's insane how powerful issues from our childhood are to ruin a current relationship. It absolutely blows my mind that that happens.

12:20 But not only that, that most people don't work on it. I liken it to walking through a rainstorm, okay? All of us are walking through a sporadic rainstorm where there's a lot of drops, but it's not pouring. And we're trying to make it across the street without getting hit by any drops. And those drops represent traumas, bad belief systems, shit that happened in our childhood. How many people will make it across the street without getting hit by something? Very, very few, 0.0001%, if that. And while all of us are getting messed up in our childhood, how many people actually work on that shit intensively to get past it?

12:57 Again, 0.0001%. So, as I said, this is the reason 75% of relationships fail. It's because relationships reveal those deep-seated traumas and deep-seated issues that people refuse to work on. Blows my mind that more people don't do NLP. Because as I always talk about, and you guys are probably sick of hearing it, you may even have advertising deafness because I talk about it so much, but too fucking bad. This is my podcast and I believe in this shit. NLP absolutely has saved my life, man, because I had so many issues.

13:33 It's absolutely ridiculous to consider the man that I could have been had I not worked on him. So, if you want to come join us in my three-month coaching program, I make for you a custom three-month NLP protocol. That's every single day or about five times a week for three fucking months that we are going to be working on bullshit just like this. The third biggest reason men become needy is because they're not happy being alone. They haven't mastered the art of what I call enjoying your own company.

14:04 They haven't gotten good with themselves, and most importantly, they haven't been comfortable with their own thoughts, and they're tormented by their own mind to the point where they want to get a relationship, they want to get a partner, they always want to be around friends to avoid their own thoughts. You ever see these people who are constantly on their phone? When they're driving, they have to have some sort of music going. If there's any quietude whatsoever, they run away from it like the plague. This is because they're afraid of their own thoughts.

14:32 They're afraid of the anxiety that's produced by the constant and inceasing thinking that is a compulsive addiction. And this is definitely a podcast I want to do in the future that we are addicted to thinking. Thinking creates suffering. You're thinking either about the future or you're thinking about the past, and 90% of thinking is not only completely repetitive, but it's also toxic in nature. Unless you take a very firm grasp of your thoughts and make sure that you're thinking positively and self-affirming, and, of course, most importantly, removing those bullshit belief systems and traumas, many people will experience a lot of discomfort just by their own thoughts.

15:13 So they don't like being alone. They're not going to go into the forest for a week and just be completely alone in silence to be with their own thoughts and experience what it's like to be with themselves. A lot of people, unfortunately, don't like themselves. So what do they do? They try to fill that void with the relationship. And then when the relationship is unreliable, which every single one is, when you are relying on the relationship to complete you, they start to become needy. They start to cling on to this woman, want to hang out with her more because they don't enjoy their own company.

15:45 Gentlemen, listen. The most important thing you have to do as an unapologetic alpha silverback is love your own company and love your independence. Honestly, much of the time, I would rather be alone than hanging out with other people. I love my own company. I love my own thoughts. But more importantly, I love what happens when I stop thinking, which is an episode I really need to do about the power of now, the power of presence, the power of mindfulness, being completely in the present moment, not thinking, just being yourself.

16:17 And let me ask you this. When are you most yourself? I'm asking you, the listener, when are you most yourself? Is it when you're super confident? When you're thinking about something that defines you, defining yourself as a dirt bike racer, a surfer, an accountant, a lawyer, a doctor, a pizza delivery dude, a dude who works for Amazon, whatever it is that your ego is attached to? No, you're most yourself when you're not thinking. So if you can get alone, and this is the essence of meditation, and not think, that is when you're most authentic.

16:52 And if you can be happy with that guy, you will never fucking need a woman. Now, this reveals another conundrum as men where we want to be individualistic. We want to be at the point where we don't need anybody, but it's also important to have relationships, as I also spoke about on a recent podcast episode. So what's the balance there? The balance is this. I want you, but I don't need you. I could be alone, I could survive, I'd be okay. But I do understand that fundamentally, I am given a cocktail of extremely healthy chemicals released in my brain when I pair bond with a woman and when I have a family.

17:31 You are rewarded to do that because we come from tribal communities. We are social creatures. So we do kind of need other people, but we don't need, need them. We mostly want them and we're better off for them. But listen, I make no illusions. If my woman leaves me, I'll get another one, dude, and I'll get hundreds of them. And I'll pick the best one for me because I've developed that skill set. So how do you save yourself from being needy? It's understanding that there's tons and tons and tons of women out there that are high quality, beautiful, working on themselves, good fucking chicks.

18:06 And yes, brother, they are out there. I have literally met thousands of them and there is one out there for you that is absolutely perfect for you. I guarantee it. Number two, work on your issues. If you have mommy issues, not feeling lovable, having traumas from the past, you need to work on that because it's going to come up and make you jealous. It's going to come up and make you needy. It's going to come up and do everything wrong for your relationship. And it's your job to fix that shit because you walked across that street.

18:34 You got hit by those raindrops and now you got to fix that shit, man. You got to dry yourself off, fix your issues. The lack of your best hurts everything. And I want to ask you straight up, man, brother to brother, warrior to warrior, heart to heart, are you doing your best? Are you doing everything in your power to fix yourself? Because I'm honest with you, man, the lack of your best hurts everything. Not only hurts you, but it also hurts me and it hurts all of society.

19:01 I wish, oh my God, how I wish that everybody would work on themselves. It doesn't even have to be with me, man. Just like go get some hypnotism, some NLP with somebody else, some cognitive behavioral therapy, smoke a blunt, take a line of cocaine, do what the fuck you got to do, man. Just get through your shit. I'm kidding about the drugs, of course. Just trying to be funny. But man, how people need to work on themselves. The lack of your best hurts everything. And the third thing, not being happy alone.

19:27 Brothers, enjoy your own company. Go out camping this spring. Go spend a week alone on the beach somewhere. Go do something with just you and you and get comfortable with that dude. Because when you do that, you can enact that all-important 80-100 rule where you're not relying on her for everything. And you can straight up tell her through your actions that I want you, but I don't need you. I'll be bummed if you leave, but I'll be all right. I'll get another one. So I hope you stay, but you can kick rocks with your head down if that's what you please.

19:58 If it's a deal breaker for you, I'm afraid I can't help you with that. See ya. Don't let the door hit you where the Lord split you. I'll be bummed, but that's okay. That's the dynamic, boys. And everything about life is balanced. So to not be needy, get your mindset in abundance, fix your fucking issues, and be happy alone. Those are the three biggest reasons men become needy. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. If you felt that this delivery warrants a five stars, preferably with some writing behind it, I'd very much appreciate a review.

20:29 Lace me up with that and then email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com and I will send you those three awesome programs as well as a couple videos. I'll smack you on the ass so hard, you'll get a painful, debilitating erection that'll last 16 hours or more. And as I said in the beginning of the show, man, I will get your name tattooed right on Marissa's face. It's getting pretty tattooed up, but she's got a couple spaces left for you champions who hook me up. Gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening.

20:54 As you may know, I draw podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays and your patronage, you're listening to my podcast really means the world to me. So please come again. Please smash that like button. Please download as many of these as possible. That's what helps me the most. If indeed you want to reciprocate some of the kindness I've shown you by helping me to grow this brand. I thank you again for listening and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.