The 3 Key Awakenings in an Elite Man's Life (Very Important Episode)

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast. The only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, gentlemen? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate it. Today, we are going to talk about the three awakenings that all elite men go through during their stages of development. I'm going to go ahead and skip all the blatant advertising today and jump straight into the content. All right, so the first awakening that men have when they're on their development to becoming what we call a superior man, an alpha silverback, an elite man, is realizing that you are responsible for literally everything in your life.

0:52 An elite man takes responsibility and understands that his life is a direct reflection of everything that he himself did. And victim mentality, thinking that other people abused you, treated you wrong, victimized you, is an excuse-making belief system of the past. Now, when I say this, I'm not talking about children because children have literally no control of their environment. And yes, they can be victimized. I'm talking about adults here. And when you become an adult, you realize that you are responsible for everything around you. And responsibility means responding with ability to those situations that surround you and taking responsibility for creating your life the way you want it.

1:35 You know, a lot of people come to me and they have a really big victim mentality. And you know what? That's okay because they haven't evolved past that. And I was definitely in that mind space too where you think you're a victim of your parents. You think you're a victim of government. You think you're a victim of society as a whole. You think you've been marginalized. You think that people are basically out to get you. But soon you realize that you teach people how to treat you.

2:00 And if you think you're marginalized, you're going to be marginalized. There's this show on Netflix. It's called Blow Up. And it's about like glassmaking. Marissa and I watched it. And there's this lady on there. She's an extremely talented glassmaker. Seems like a nice lady. But she's lesbian. And she's quite butchy. And she's quite unattractive. And the whole time throughout the whole show, her entire identity was about how she's marginalized, right? My people are marginalized. Lesbian women are marginalized. We're mistreated. We are victims of a society that doesn't accept us.

2:31 Well, I can understand kind of where she's coming from. But listen, when you think you're marginalized and when it's all you talk about, what happens in your reality? You become marginalized. You attract to yourself situations, people, and circumstances that are going to prove your belief system. Because you are responsible for your life and you are literally manifesting everything in your life. So, yeah, she's marginalized. Because her ego has completely attached itself to being marginalized, so what happens? First you think of the picture, then you paint it, then you step inside of it.

3:02 So, yes, she is marginalized and much of that is her own doing. So, we begin to understand that your circumstances, like right now, brother, everything in your life right now, the car you're driving, the job you have, the people you have around you, your fitness, your happiness, everything, that's your responsibility. And when you take responsibility for that, it's actually a really empowering thing because you then understand that you can create any life you want. And you guys, I was the most fucking victim mentality thinking I was marginalized.

3:33 How I rationalized that to myself, I have no idea. But I had the biggest victim mentality thinking everybody owed me something, thinking the society was out to get me. I was such a fucking pussy that it pisses me off when I see it in other people. Well, part of it pisses me off and the other part of it I understand because I was there too. And this is simply a stage in the evolution of men's consciousness. And most men, when they arrive to about 30 or 40, it's not true for everyone, they really realize this.

4:02 And they're like, oh shit, not only am I responsible, but if I take responsibility and say to myself, my life is a direct reflection of everything that I myself choose, both in my thinking and in my actions, then I can actually have a change in my life and affect it in a way that makes it a lot more positive. So once we get out of this, I'm not responsible, I'm a victim, I'm a fucking fart flowing in the breeze and wherever the breeze of society and my parents and my friends and girls happens to blow me, that's where I'm going to end up.

4:34 Wah, wah, wah, poor me, go masturbate in a puddle of my own tears. And a lot of people are in this mentality. And like I said, it's okay. But when I see it, it immediately telegraphs to me that that person hasn't evolved past this victim mentality. Now, a couple caveats to what I just said. First of all, children. Okay, children cannot be responsible for the situation that surrounds them because they are in fact powerless to be able to do so. And yes, I do understand that there are certain movements in society that make life harder for some people.

5:05 But I'll tell you what, I lived in Japan for four years. So while I am a tall, white male, and for all intents and purposes, people think I got my white privilege card and everything works out perfectly for me just because I'm white. I'll tell you, when I was in Japan, there was a fuck ton of racism there. People thought I was stupid. People would make fun of me. But did that stop me? No. I was just like, okay, some things about me, they are criticizing because of something I can't control.

5:30 But there's a lot I can't control. I can be kind. I can be a hard worker. I can be a generous, loving person. And when I did that, my experience over in Japan was really good. I could have, on the other hand, said, oh, I'm a victim. These people think I'm stupid. These people are racist against me. So I'm just going to give up and not try to make friends, not try to be successful in this country. And then what would have happened to me? My expectations would have created more of my experience.

5:57 I would have ran into more people that were racist against me. I would have had more people tell me I was stupid and treat me like a kid. And by the way, every time I would be speaking Japanese to somebody, they would always answer me and look at my friend who was standing right at my side. So I would be like talking to a waitress and saying, hey, I want this, that, and the third in Japanese. And she would look at my friend who's Japanese and reply.

6:19 And I would say, hey, I'm over here. Could you please talk to me? But because I had already evolved to the point where I knew I was responsible for the situation that surrounded me, I took responsibility and acted in certain ways that not only curtailed that kind of behavior from others, but made me a lot stronger because of it, because I took responsibility for my life and my situation. So if you're of the mentality that anybody owes you anything, if you're of the mentality that you've been victimized, marginalized, if you're being abused by anybody, mistreated by anybody, a lot of that is your fault.

6:54 I dare say if you're an adult, almost all of it is your fault. You teach people how to treat you. I want to say that again. You teach people how to treat you. This includes guys who have recently been divorced, who are completely blaming their wives. I guarantee you a big part of that was your fault that you got divorced. It's guys who have friends or jobs where they feel that their boss or their friends or their sister or their brother or ex-girlfriends didn't appreciate them and treat them correctly.

7:21 You teach people how to treat you. So if you got abused, if you got stepped on, if you got broken up with, if you were blown out so hard, your fucking pants flew off when the concussion hit, it was your fault. How's that feel, brother? How's that feel? Take responsibility for it and say, what can I do to change the situation? When you have that kind of mentality, you get insights, you get motivation, you get the drive to be able to change your life for the positive.

7:47 And this is the first awakening in every elite man's journey. All right. The second awakening actually springs board off the first awakening. So first you realize, okay, I'm responsible for my life. I'm responsible for the way that I feel. You get the life you choose. Okay. You realize, damn, I get the life I choose. Then you realize that negativity, ego, and anything derivative of fear attracts to yourself that very same thing. It attracts to yourself fear. It attracts to yourself anxiety. It attracts to yourself negative situations.

8:19 So you realize, wait, wait, I'm responsible for my life. Okay. So how can I create the life that I want? You realize the second awakening, that positivity, acting from a good place, being joyful, appreciative, focusing on abundance, not scarcity, gets you what you want in life. And this was one of the biggest awakenings for me because I was seriously wrapped up in my ego and the ego is basically fear. So I was fearing what might happen to me, a distant sense of threat in the future, which caused me a gigantic energy field of anxiety within myself.

8:54 And I was always fearful of what might happen. And I was acting from my ego, which is fear. Once again, it's fear. And I was acting out of hatred, thinking that the negativity would get me what I want. And this is actually an infant mentality that tons, I'm talking millions of people have not evolved past and it absolutely blows my mind. So when we're infants, how do we get what we want? How we get what we want is by crying, complaining, being basically negative. So we develop the unconscious belief that negativity buys me what I want.

9:25 So as we go through life, we complain about things, even the weather. You hear people complain about the weather. It's like, really, bro? You have that scarcity of a mentality that you're going to complain about the weather? Okay. What are you going to get? More shittiness. Okay. We complain about our friends. We complain about our jobs. We complain. I don't have what it takes to get the girls that I want. I don't know what to say. Mark's saying I get stifled. I get fucking completely blown out every time I go talk to a girl.

9:50 That's because you have that negative connotation when it comes to women. When you think of a woman, a really hot woman, what's experienced inside your head? Fear. And from that fear, you manifest negative experiences with women. So I believe that the universe is designed to wake us up by giving us pain. In fact, it's been said that no lesson can be learned without it first being delivered to you in pain. And if you're not going to learn the lesson the first time, it's going to deliver it to you again and again and again until you wake up.

10:21 Well, pain itself is attracted to ourselves by the negativity that, once again, we've held onto since we were infants. And what does it bring us? It brings us a shitty life. We don't make money. We don't get girls. We're constantly complaining. Our fucking car is breaking down every other day. We have bad relationships with our friends, our parents. We couldn't get laid even if we were in a Tijuana brothel with $100 bills taped to our penis and we're so horny we'd fuck a snake if we could hold it straight.

10:49 So what happens? We get even angrier and angrier and we get the victim mentality. We're not taking responsibility. We're seething in negativity. And the next thing you know, you're addicted to meth, living in some mobile home park, screaming at the cat in some drug-induced haze because the cat didn't vote. And you're completely psychotic. You've lost your shoe to marble, bro, because of negativity. So we realize, look, I'm responsible for my life. Secondly, I need to be positive. I need to act from joy. I need to be appreciative for what I have in order to manifest more of that in my life.

11:22 So you throw out negativity and you realize that it takes strength to be positive. It takes strength to have an optimistic view of the future. And negativity is nothing but fucking weakness. It's mental weakness because it's easy. It's easy to complain about the weather. It's easy to gossip about other people. It's easy to look at a homeless person and judge them for being a piece of shit, for being unmotivated and yell at them, go get a job. It's easy to look at a girl and call her a slut because she slept with a couple guys who you know.

11:52 But really, you want to have sex with her and you're peanut butter and jealous of her success and or your friend's success for having sex with her. So we take responsibility. We realize we have to act from positivity. I'm telling you, positivity takes courage. It takes discipline. It takes a strong fucking heart to not let ourselves deteriorate under that negativity, which, and I relate to you if you're on this page, comes into our psyche because it's our ego trying to prove superiority over others. Okay, when you gossip about somebody, what is that?

12:25 It's egoic consciousness trying to prove that you're better than that person because you're putting them down. Oh, Carl's chubby. He looks like shit. He's losing all his hair. What a fucking dingbat, right? You say that stuff. It's because you're trying to build yourself up through a negative means. But then what happens? You just attract to yourself negative shit. Negativity always and only equals negativity. Violence, no matter how well intentioned, always rebounds upon yourself. It is law. And when you wake up to this, your life will completely change.

12:58 And now the third awakening, and this is the highest level of consciousness, is doing to others what you want them to do to you and or acting from love. When you treat other people the way that you want to be treated and when you give good energy, good vibes, good feelings, compliments, money, help, assistance, and most importantly, love, you get back what you gave 10 times over. And this is one of the hardest levels for people to reach because naturally we're very selfish. It's almost in our lizard brain that if I fight for myself, if I take, take, take, and only think about me, then I'm going to get what I want.

13:38 And this is such a prevalent consciousness in today's society, especially in the United States, of feeling victimized, feeling the government owes you something, feeling your entire college education should be paid because, I don't know, I just deserve it. Just pay for it. I don't know why, I just deserve it because mommy and daddy, right? Give me something. Take, take, take. It's that taker mentality. You guys, it would blow your fucking mind if you looked in my inbox and you saw how many people asked to come on my podcast.

14:06 They're like, hey, Mark, can I come on your podcast? I want to be on there. I want to get exposure. I want people to see about my brand. I do this, that, and the third. Do you think any of these people ever come up to me and say, hey, brother, I want to help you out? I want to have you on my podcast. I want to give you a blast to my social media presence. I really like what you're doing. No, it's all about themselves. And what do I do?

14:28 Fucking delete immediately. What did Trip Kramer do of the Ask Girls podcast? He came to me and he said, hey, Mark, I've been listening to your podcast. I really like it. Come on my show, man. I really want to help you, give you exposure. And between me and you guys, Trip was like two to three times bigger than I was. He didn't have to do that for me. But because he's a giver, he gives first. He acts from love. He treats people the way he hopes that others would treat him.

14:53 He gave to me first. So I go on his podcast and it fucking crushed. I got all these listeners from it. My business literally doubled in probably like one month just because of him. And now every time I get the chance, I'm like, yo, go to Trip Kramer. Listen to his podcast. And you guys go listen to it. How to talk to girls podcast. I will always cherish that guy. I will always help him out. If he needs anything from me, I will drop what I'm doing and go help him immediately because he gave first.

15:20 But every day, all I get is takers, takers, takers in my inbox. And even some of you listeners, I hate to fucking call you out, bro. But a lot of you listeners are like, hey, Mark, send me this. Hey, Mark, do this for me. Hey, Mark, I have this problem. What do I do here? It's like, bro, I'm getting hundreds of emails a day and you just write me expecting me to coach you for free. Sorry, bro. That's not how it works. You got to become my client.

15:42 You got to show me that you're committed. You got to sign up, meet with me, prove to me that you really want to change your life. I'm not going to just fucking answer your questions. And then I get guys who meet me in person. They're like, hey, can I pick your brain for a little while? Hey, can we go out to dinner? I'm like, why? Why would I go out to dinner with you? Like, what are you offering me? You just want to take, take, take.

16:02 And this is what guys do to women. They go up and just want to take her number, take her on a date, take her panties off, take her sex. They never think about giving. So what I always teach is be a go giver. Go give her good energy, a good compliment, a good conversation. Make her laugh and don't expect anything in return. This is what love does. Love gives without any thought of itself and without any thought of what it might get in the future. And yeah, I'm going to be honest with you.

16:28 There's always rewards that are attracted back to you when you give from love. I can't remember if I told this to you guys on the podcast or I told it to my coaching clients. But the other day I was sitting in my car listening to this audio book. I forget what it was. Something like, oh, it was Homeless to Billionaire. Really good book, by the way. Homeless to Billionaire. So I'm listening to it and he's talking about how he always gives to homeless people. And he's like, when I see a homeless person, I open my wallet and I give him the biggest bill in my wallet.

16:55 So I'm sitting there listening to this and I look up and there's a guy standing there, a homeless guy. And he's holding a sign that says, I have Asperger's. I'm homeless. I'm not addicted to drugs. I just have Asperger's and I'm really struggling. So I'm like, do it, brother, do it. So I open my wallet and there's a hundred dollar bill staring me in the face. I'm like, do it, man, do it. So I pull out the hundred dollar bill, roll down the window. And I say, hey, brother, come here, come here.

17:17 And I was like, hey, man, how's it going? Could you give me some wisdom, please? He's like, yeah, man. He's like, never judge a book by its cover. And, you know, I'm sitting there after jujitsu. So I'm all sweaty and I still have my rash guard on. And like, I kind of look like I'm all beat up and bent out of shape. And I was like, I love that advice, brother. Here you go. Takes a hundred dollar bill and his eyes just get as big as saucers.

17:38 He's like, thank you, man. Thank you. He's like, I've been wanting to get a hotel room tonight so bad. I need to take a shower so bad. He's like, I was just praying for this. Thank you, sir. Thank you. I'm like, you're welcome, brother. Good luck to you. Go get that hotel, man. Enjoy that bed. Enjoy that shower. I love you, brother. And I wish you nothing but the best. And it was that exchange between two human beings. And what's happening, boys? I'm having a record month monetarily.

18:02 My podcast is exploding. There's so much love coming into my life right now because I give love all the time. And listen, I love to give to you guys. That's why if you write me and even if you're a taker saying, hey, Mark, could I get the conversation sniper? I'm going to give it to you because I'm a giver. That's what I've trained myself to be, to act from love. Because I know that that's the secret to happiness, to be selfless. But when I have dudes coming to me in that taker-taker mentality, I just kind of shake my head.

18:30 And I'm like, man, he hasn't quite figured it out yet. And I'm hoping if you're one of those guys, you're listening right now. And you say, damn, dude, this guy's right. All I do is take. All I do is put myself first. I don't think about others. In fact, I'm sure there's a decent handful of you who try to take advantage of others in order to get, get, get. But what did I just say? You learn very quickly that the law of attraction will always send to you that which you put out there.

18:56 So if you're trying to take from others, others are going to take from you. If you give to others and you act from love, remember, love is always the answer. It will come back to you tenfold. And this is the final awakening and the hardest awakening because there's something inside of us, and I know you can relate, that wants to just take for ourselves, be selfish, fuck everybody else. Hell is the others. But the truth of the matter is heaven is the others. And yeah, people are irritating sometimes.

19:23 People drive us crazy. People are, for all intents and purposes, the hardest thing to deal with as we go through this life. But when you accept people, when you love people for who they are, when you give to people selflessly, when you give to charities, when you try to help people out, give people a compliment, give people good energy. I want to be that dude who walks through this world giving, giving, giving. I just want to be love. I just want to be love and spread it to all you guys, spread it to everybody who I see, spread it to the world.

19:54 And then I know that my life is going to be heaven. And what is my life? It's heaven. I'm doing exactly what I want. I'm getting coaching clients that, oh my God, these guys are like my best friends. In the last few weeks especially, I just met so many fucking good fucking dudes. Just good dudes. And if you're listening and you're just starting the program, or honestly, if you've been through the program or you're a longtime graduate, even if you're just listening, brother, I love you, man.

20:19 I salute you. And I actually had a dream. I was going to mention this in the next podcast, but I'm just flowing and it's going. So I'm just going to mention it now. I had this dream where I died. This is going to be a hard one. Okay. So I died and I went to heaven and this, oh man, it's hard to, hard to talk about. But like all you guys were there. So I was just like walking through you guys and you're all patting me on the back saying, thank you.

20:43 And I saw all my clients there. Every client who's ever been in the coaching program was there, but it was also all my podcast listeners. It was like this stadium full of dudes and I'm walking through and there was just so much love being sent back to me and like patting me on the shoulder and whew. And it just got to me, man. I just woke up, you know, with that feeling in my heart that brothers, I love you, man. Thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting me.

21:07 You guys who have let me review seriously, man. I just, you know, I just wish nothing but the best for you. And I will give, you know, if you guys need anything, I just don't have time to answer personal questions. But if you want the conversation sniper, you can write me for it. If you want to come into my coaching program, I'll meet with you for free. I don't expect anything. I just want to meet with you guys. And because I put that out there, because I really put my heart into this podcast and I do it through love, that's why I'm successful.

21:35 And I really want you guys to get this point that act from love, do onto others what you want them to do onto you and your life will expand in ways you never thought possible. Final note on this. And this goes into what I was just talking about. If you ever want something from someone, give first, give first. Like if you want to come onto the podcast, what are you going to do for somebody? Like every time I get on people's podcasts and a lot of you guys have come from other podcasts, how is Mark Singh able to get on so many podcasts?

22:02 It's because I give, I give first. My first email to the person is, hey, I want to help you in this way and that way. And I actually do research on them. It's so ridiculous how many cookie cutter damn emails I get like, hey, I've been listening to the unapologetic gentleman podcast. I'm like, that's not even what it's called, bro. And you think you're going to come on this? I want to give my guys the best of the best. And you think I'm going to let some taker who doesn't even know how to market himself correctly to somebody by giving first onto my podcast.

22:30 You're not going to be able to help my guys because you haven't even fucking figured out your own business yet. So what I suggest to you guys is when it comes to all aspects of your life, act from love. Love is always the answer. Give first, give first, give first, give first. And this includes with women. Give her that good energy. That's all you have to do. You get into state, you feel good. And all you have to say is hi. Remember that Tom Cruise movie that chick said, you had me at hello.

22:56 That was all his state. Hello. And then he's talking. She's like, you had me at hello because it's that energy behind it. This is how you get extremely good with women. I'm actually following up. My next podcast is going to be one of the biggest issues that most of you guys suffer from when it comes from trying to get good with women. And this is a big part of it. This is a big part of it. I'll explain it in that podcast, but I really appreciate it if you came back.

23:21 If you found value, obviously, I would appreciate it if you give me a review as I have just given you tons of information. And I have something like, I think I'm at 295 now, 295 other episodes where I just gave, gave, gave. Wasn't expecting anything from you guys other than a kind review, an honest review. And if you want to meet with me for a free 30 minutes to an hour Zoom call while we talk about your issues, get you to the point where you can be an elite man too, where you act from love, you give what you want to get, and your life expands and explodes in ways I can't even explain to you.

23:57 So gentlemen, I love every single one of you. I appreciate you listening. I thank you so much for coming back. I thank you for allowing me to do what I was brought onto this earth to do. And if you want to meet with me and you want to bro out like two homies around the campfire, I would fucking love to meet you. Go to my website, coachmarkzing.com. Click on coaching, fill in the super short application, press submit, and then I'll send you my schedule and you and I will get on that free one-on-one Zoom consultation together.

24:26 All right, gentlemen, I dropped podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays. So please stay tuned for the next one. Again, the next one particularly is going to be really good. A lot of you guys need to hear it. So please tune back in and I will see you in the next episode. So We'll see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.