THE SINGLE FASTEST WAY TO IMPROVE WITH WOMEN: The Frame Control Concept of: "All About the Other"

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Welcome to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you joining me today. And today, we are going to talk about one of my favorite things, frame control reversals, all about the other is what I call it. And I can't wait to teach it to you guys. This is my favorite topic. I literally have to space these things out because I want to talk about them all the time.

0:40 Before I jump into the content, I want to let you guys know that I do appreciate the reviews that you've been giving me, although they have kind of slowed down a little bit. And the reason for that is I just launched my free one-on-one consultation offer on Zoom, and I've been talking about that ad nauseum, as many of you know who listen to multiple episodes of this podcast. And I haven't been really asking for reviews, so I'm going to go ahead and do that now. Why do I want reviews?

1:04 The reason is, is because they help me in the rankings. They help more champions just like you find this podcast. So if you could give me a five-star review with some writing behind it, email me at coachmarksingh at gmail.com, and I'll send you three awesome programs, The Conversation Sniper, Guide to the Female Orgasm, and three texts to build massive attraction in women, as well as a couple videos. And I'm going to get your image tattooed on my butt so that everyone can behold the majesty of your amazing face.

1:34 All right, guys, without further ado, let's go ahead and jump into the content. Let's let the track flow like smoke in your lungs from puffing on the endo. Who said that one? Cypress Hill. That's right. All right, so frame control. We're going to do a quick little review just so that you know what the hell I'm talking about. So when you're speaking to a woman, she cannot become attracted to you unless you have a stronger frame than she does. This is so important that if you don't know what a frame is, it's about time you get educated, and I'm about to do that for you.

2:06 What a frame is, is the person who is controlling the conversation, the person who is guiding the interaction, the person whose interpretation of what the meaning of the interaction is, is the one who's controlling the frame. So if you say that I'm cheap because I won't buy you a hamburger, and I say that, no, you're cheap because you're asking me to buy you a hamburger, whoever has the stronger frame, that's whose interpretation of the situation will be accepted by both individuals. So either consciously or subconsciously, the person who's controlling the interaction is the one who's controlling the frame.

2:44 And once again, a woman cannot become attracted to you unless you are controlling the frame. Now, I have to say this as a warning, as a caveat, as a disclaimer for some of you champions out there who like to go a little bit hard in the paint. This doesn't mean being controlling. This doesn't mean being an overbearing, stubborn asshole. This means being in control, but not controlling. And in fact, if you really lay down to think about it for 15 minutes, frame control means not trying to control the frame.

3:14 Because the person who's really controlling the frame is the person who has less invested in the frame. Think about that one. Once again, 15 minutes on your back, thinking as hard as you can, and the truth will be revealed to you. That not trying to control the frame is, in its essence, controlling the frame. How about that for some word judo right there, brother? That's going to mess you up as you try to wrap your mind around that one. But today, we're going to talk about the essence of frame control, which is, it's not my problem.

3:41 It's your problem. I'm not the one with the issue. You're the one with the issue. I'm wondering why you're asking me that. Why are you doing that? Why are you coming at me like this? Because it's not about me, brother. It's about you. People who are really good with frame control always and only flip the frame onto the other person. So, for example, and the reason I wanted to do this podcast today is because I was at the gym today. And there's this dude that always works out there.

4:07 He's a little bit older. He wears the same damn outfit literally seven days a week. I see the dude there every fucking day I work out. I work out about six days a week just the way I've divided it up for myself. I always see the dude wearing the same outfit. He has the shirt on that says, these colors don't run, right? It's like the American eagle with the American flag behind it. So cheesy. But America, baby. I love it. And he wears fucking jeans. Jeans.

4:36 Who wears jeans to a goddamn gym? He's a weird guy. He's a weird dude. But, you know, I see him all the time. And the funny thing about working out at gyms is you see these people all the time. And for those who I don't talk to, you never know their names. So you kind of give them secret names. And we used to do that when we'd go surfing too. You see these guys out surfing all the time and you don't know who they are, but it's like you see them more than you see your own girlfriend sometimes, your own best friend sometimes.

5:01 So we'd give them funny names like Mantis, Horse, Super Hater. This one kid was just a super hater. So we call him Super Hater. And I've named this guy, These Colors Don't Run. So Colors Don't Run wears the same damn thing. And I imagined myself, I was just daydreaming. I imagined myself going up to him and being like, bro, why do you wear the same thing every single day? Now, in that instance, I thought about being in his shoes and how I'd react. And what I'd say is, bro, why are you watching me so carefully?

5:29 Why are you so concerned about what I'm wearing? Are you like stalking me or something? Why do you even ask me that? So this demonstrates the clear concept. And this is so important as you become an unapologetic alpha silverback that, bro, it's not about you. It's about the other person. When somebody questions you, when somebody challenges you, when somebody tries to stuff you into the corner and control the frame on you, your job as the silverback is to flip the shit on them and ask them, why are you asking me this?

6:01 Why are you looking at me this way? So in his situation, what would probably happen, because I have a very strong frame and I tone it in a way, I'd go up to him and I'd be like, hey, bro, why are you wearing the same thing all the time? And you notice in my tonality, my tonality goes down at the end. That communicates authority. So if it went up at the end, why are you wearing the same thing all the time? That shows insecurity and that basically gives him the frame.

6:26 But let's say that I did go up to him as me. What I bet you what would happen is he would explain himself to me. Now, this is the worst possible thing you can do from a frame control perspective is when somebody questions you, the worst thing you can do is explain yourself to them, explain it, try to justify, try to make excuses, try to reason with them as to why you're wearing the same damn thing. These colors don't run every time you come to the gym.

6:51 The worst thing you could do. So let's say I went up to him and I was like, hey, man, why do you wear the same thing every day? Literally every day I see you, you're wearing these colors don't run. America, baby, why do you do that? And you'd be like, well, I just really like the shirt and it's my gym shirt. And, you know, this is actually the second pair. I got two. And what I do is I rotate them. You know, I wash one as I'm wearing the other one.

7:12 I just I just like this outfit. That's the worst thing you can do from frame control perspective. The best thing you can do is, as I said, bro, why are you so concerned about what I'm wearing? Are you like the clothing police or something? Right. Put it back on them. Flip it on them. Make it all about the other. And this is what politicians do. Politicians who are really skilled always make it about the other person. Right. You look at debates like Trump was pretty fucking good at this.

7:38 He always flips it on people. And that was part of the reason he got elected is because we as human beings, social creatures, we know a strong frame when we see one. We can tell in people's voices. We can tell how they hold themselves and more specifically, how they reframe things to make it all about the other person. So if you looked at me and you said, bro, why are your legs so skinny? I'd say to you, dude, why are you staring at my legs? Right.

8:03 Mark, why do you have your hair like that? Bro, I noticed you're pretty obsessed with my hair. Why are you staring at my haircut? Are you thinking about getting one just like mine? Right. So you flip it on them and then they have to justify themselves to you. You guys, I cannot tell you how important this is to do when women challenge you. And once again, big disclaimer, never with negativity, never with anger. Okay. It's always fun. It's always playful. Now between guys, you can do whatever the hell you want.

8:30 This may be the way the fight start, but I'll tell you what, the person who cares the least, the person who has less invested in how the outcome of the situation happens is the one who's controlling the frame. Because look at that. It's all about the other person. The other person is more angry than you are too. The other person is more invested than you are too. The other person's getting all hot in a trot, hyper extending his anus, getting all fired up. And you're like, bro, relax.

8:56 And that's something too. I'll say to people like, dude, Hey bro, relax, man. We're just talking here. Like if I were to ever get into a confrontation with people when I was a bouncer, it's always about like, dude, you're coming on peel, dude. You need to relax, settle it down, drop it down a gear. Now, let me ask you this. Why are you bothering these women? Why are you acting a fool? Why are you getting so drunk? And then, Oh, they would justify themselves to me because I came in with authority.

9:22 Now, of course I had the authority of working there, but also just man to man. When I talk to people, you can tell immediately who's reacting more than the other, the person who's reacting more, the person who's more affected by the conversation is the one who is not controlling the frame. Let me say that again. The person who's more affected has more invested. Who is more reactive is the one who is not controlling the frame. The guy who's controlling the frame doesn't care what happens. He's chill and he always makes it about the other person.

9:57 So somebody asks you, bro, why do you have a bald head? Why do you cut your hair like that? Why do you drive that car? How would you reframe it? I want to test you right now. Dude, why are you looking at my head? Why are you so obsessed with my haircut? Are you interested in buying my car for me? The Kelly Blue Book's about $20,000. If you have $20,000, I think about selling it to you, right? Anybody who insults you, you flip it on them. A girl says, why don't you have a girlfriend?

10:22 Why don't you have a girlfriend? What do you guys say? You should know this by now if you've been listening to my podcast for any amount of time. The real question is, why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh? You see how I did that? She kind of attacked me. It wasn't like a big attack, but she questioned me, expecting me to explain myself to her. Do you ever explain yourself to women as a way to sell yourself to them?

10:46 No, absolutely not. This is the quickest way to get yourself blown out. I'm guaranteeing you guys, and a lot of you guys have done this, you're nodding your head right now being like, yep, I know exactly what it is you're talking about, Uncle Mark saying you hit the nail on the head because you tried to sell yourself to a woman. What is selling yourself to somebody? It's showing that they control the frame, isn't it? This is why we want women to sell themselves to us. So she says, why don't you have a girlfriend?

11:11 The real question is, why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh? 90% of the time, especially when you have the right tonality, and it's really important, the right tonality is from upper to lower. Not condescending, just saying you're like the father controlling the frame. You're the coach of the soccer team, as I always say, and you're talking to a 12-year-old girl, not condescending, not with anger. Because again, condescension, anger is derivative of that negative energy, which as I just said, should not come into your interactions with women, right?

11:42 Because the one who is less reactive, imperturbable, doesn't care what happens, is the one controlling the frame. So when she says, and this happens all the time, guys, to this day, I still open chicks. I still flirt with girls. They ask me, why don't you have a girlfriend? And I say to them, the real question is, why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh? And the truth is, I do have a girlfriend, but I didn't answer it because I'm like a politician.

12:07 I can ask myself questions. I don't have to answer any questions she asks me. Literally, if a person asks you a question you don't want to answer, you say these four words, the real question is, ask them a question back. Now, if you have a stronger frame than they do, and one of the ways to communicate that, as I said, is to have a downward inflection. License and registration, please. That's what a police officer says, right? He doesn't say, license and registration, please. Could I see your license and registration, please?

12:36 No, it's like, hey, give me your license and registration. And there's no anger there, usually. He's imperturbable. He does this shit all day. He's used to being in the authoritative role. Well, so are you as an unapologetic alpha silverback. So she says, why don't you have a girlfriend? The real question is, why don't you have a boyfriend? It's probably because you're a bad kisser, huh? As you give her a little smile, once again, it's playful. It's fun. We never want negative energy going into it. But I'll tell you, if she explains herself to you, you are winning so hard.

13:06 Right now, you are getting so much attraction because when a woman tries to sell herself to you, it's called cognitive dissonance. We like what we work for, right? So if you can get a woman to work for you, explain herself to you, she's going to convince herself that she likes you more than she actually does. But if you explain yourself to her, she's going to feel like she's controlling the frame, which is true, and she's going to lose attraction for you. And how many of you guys have done this, right?

13:34 Like, oh, I'm great in bed. I have amazing style. I have a six pack. Yeah, under this shirt, there's a great six pack. Hell no, dude. I do the opposite. I'm like, yeah, I love how I'm getting fat, dude. It's keeping me warm during these cold winter months. That's the kind of shit I say. Why? To communicate. I don't give a shit what she thinks. And then if she challenges me, right? Why are you wearing this? What? You talk to all girls? Well, you're such a player.

13:55 How many numbers did you get tonight? And you guys probably know a lot about my reframes, which is, oh, you're such a player, huh? Yeah, I play soccer. I'm actually right midfield. I scored a goal last week. I'm pretty decent. And she's like, no, no, no. You like hit on girls, don't you? Then I'll say, yeah, how all the girls actually hit on my grandma last night. It was so uncomfortable. Why are you wearing that shirt? Look, I know you're trying to get me undressed right now, but take it easy.

14:18 We just met. Okay. See how I reframe that. You can misinterpret what she says. Why are you here? Like, do you not have friends or something? Listen, I know you're trying to leave with me right now, but we just met Casanova. Slow down. Okay. It's called misinterpretation. So when somebody questions you, they say something, you can misinterpret it. You can flip it back on them. With those four magic words, the real question is, you always make it about the other person. It's their issue. It's their anger.

14:46 It's their struggle. They're the ones who are struggling with this whole situation. Anytime somebody attacks you, you say, why X, Y, Z? Or the real question is, flip it, flip it, flip it. And if they say something and you get affected and it shows that it affected you, they just won. They just control the frame over you. And I see this all the time with guys, man. They are so reactive to women. But the real question is, why isn't she getting attracted to you? So as you guys wrap up listening to this episode and you think to yourself, man, he's right.

15:21 I got to make it about the other person. Ask them why they're asking. Ask them what it is they're trying to get. Ask them why they're so concerned. Why are they staring at you? Why are they so concerned about you? And that's what I do all the time. I'm like, bro, like, why are you so focused on me and what I'm doing? You know, you're in a meeting and a coworker says, you know, while you were on that Zoom call, you kept itching your chin and it really distracted me.

15:44 And rather than saying, oh, well, I just had an itchy chin and, you know, I just I'm growing this beard and it gets really itchy. That's that's selling yourself. That's justifying yourself to them. What would you do? Well, in this podcast, I just taught you. You'd be like, bro, like, why are you staring at me during the Zoom call? Why are you so easily affected by what I do is an awesome response. Why are you so easily affected by me? Why are you so focused on me?

16:08 What do you like think about me when you're home alone or something like, bro, you notice that I did this thing? It's kind of creepy, dude. Are you stalking me? Are you in love with me, bro? Are you are you the stalker? Because I know I have a stalker. I can't tell if it's a guy or a girl. Are you the stalker, brother? No, I'm not stalker. I'm not focused on you. But just, you know, it's just really distracting. Bro, relax, dude. Take it easy, brother.

16:28 Listen, focus on yourself. When you do, I promise things will work out a lot better. All right. Now, what did you just do? You just like tutored him. You were just the father to him and you just controlled the frame on him. So guys will come up to me. They'll be like, hey, that's my girlfriend. I'm not going to be like, oh, sorry, bro. I was just talking to her. I didn't know a lot of law. I'm going to be like, bro, relax, dude. Relax, man.

16:50 Listen, you being jealous like this and getting all fired up is really unattractive to her. So slow it down, brother. I was just talking to her. Take it easy, right? You make it about him. I saw this video of Cassidy Campbell. He's this guy on YouTube that is really funny. He does like high social pressure experiments where he basically makes an ass of himself. Well, this one time he went into a mall dressed as like a Navy officer. And this kid, this black kid had his like pants sagging so much you could see his butt crack.

17:20 So Cassidy Campbell goes up to him. He's like, pull up your pants there, sailor. You look like a damn mess. And the kid said, and he was like 17. I give him props. He's like, dude, why are you looking at my ass? That was the exact right response. Now, unfortunately, as the conversation continued, the kid lost the frame to Cassidy Campbell, which I don't blame him. He's like a 17 year old kid going against this guy who deals with social pressure situations on a daily basis. But that was the first right answer.

17:46 Why are you looking at my ass? Like back in the day when we used to wear really big pants, your grandma would be like, what's up with your style? Why are you wearing such big pants? Like grandma, stop looking at my butt. Take it easy. Back it down again. Grandma, you're coming unpeeled, right? Like make it about the other person. This is the strongest, best, most effective way to control the frame. And I do it to women all the time. I love it when they ask me a why question about myself.

18:11 And in fact, sometimes I'll purposely wear ridiculous outfits out to the nightclub so that I get this. So that she says to me, oh my God, those pants are so stupid. I'll be like, look, I know you're trying to take off my pants right now, but relax, Jessica. We just met. Slow it down a year. I will literally prompt them. I will bait them to try to test me in that way. Back in Arizona, when I was going hard on the pickup artist thing, I mean, I'm talking seven nights a week, I'd go out.

18:39 I had a faux hawk. It's kind of like a mohawk, but it's a little different. And I'd grow that thing so long where it would be super spiky. So that girls would challenge me on it. Like, whoa, your hair is crazy. Why do you wear your hair like that? And then I'd have responses to it. One of the responses I'd use would come from the concept of agree and amplify. I'd be like, I know this thing is so awesome. I like to ride my skateboard and it acts as a sail where it catches the wind.

19:02 And I just get to go all the way down main Avenue with the sail. It's freaking awesome. Or yeah, sometimes I walk outside and birds freaking hit it. Because look, when you're unaffected by her challenge and you don't try to explain yourself to her, that's attractive. Because that's what a man who has a strong frame, that's what a man who leads her is willing to do. Or I'd say to her, listen, I know you're jealous of my hair right now. I know you wish you could have a mohawk like this one, but I'm not going to share my secret with you.

19:28 Okay, I'm just not. Maybe one day if we become friends, I'll tell you about it. But relax, one day you'll get there. One day your hair will be this epic. Okay, again, make it about her. If she questions you, her issue, what's the issue? It's your job as the man to identify it. And also with your friends, guys are always busting each other's chops. If you could flip it on your friends like that quickly. And again, those four words, the real question is just say that.

19:52 Just say the real question is, and then think of something off the top of your head. It'll be better than try to explain yourself. And a good method to round out this podcast simply to ignore it, to ignore it. If she says something and you didn't hear it, it's like she didn't say it. It's like she didn't fucking say it. So she says some bullshit, you ignore it, and then you plow past it. That's what a guy with a super strong frame is willing to do.

20:15 It's all about the other. You guys remember this? This is going to exponentially strengthen not only your frame, but also your interactions with women. It's going to make you a way better negotiator, right? When you're in a negotiation, who's the one submitting the application? The other guy. Who's the one who has to explain himself? The other guy. Who's the one who's under social pressure? The other guy. When you have that perspective and you really stick to it, and you know this when the other guy doesn't know it, you have the power.

20:45 I mean, this is magical stuff, man. This is social interaction. This is how to control conversations. And I'll tell you salesmen out there, if you're not controlling the frame on your prospects, you're not making sales. So if you're listening to this and you're like, dude, my sales have been really weak, I can almost guarantee you it's because you have supplication in your voice. You're giving the other person the power. You're not taking control of the frame. Therefore, they don't respect you, and therefore, they're not going to buy from you.

21:08 So somebody who's a really good salesman is charismatic, but he's not to be fucked with. He controls the frame. He leads the person to where they want to be led, just like what we do with women. Really good salesmen are often really good with women because they understand this concept. It is one and the same, one and the same. Escalate on a high note. Give them good emotions. Tell them what they want to achieve. Feel like you understand them. Control the frame. Make it all about them.

21:34 You're the one who has the solution. They're the one applying to get that solution. This is the way you sell, and this is the way that you make women attracted to you, and you control negotiations. Take it on board, fellas. This thing will absolutely change your life. It is that important. Remember, we are social creatures. We're like one big social entity. If you can have a stronger frame than those who you're dealing with, not only are you going to make them like you and respect you and get attracted to you more, but things are going to work out for you almost every single time.

22:05 Control the frame. I'm all about it. It's the way to success. Use it. All right, gentlemen, I got another awesome one dropping on Monday, so please stay tuned for that. In the meantime, if you find value in my content, if you feel like, yeah, this dude's pretty decent, I'll go ahead and slap him upside the head with a decent review, preferably a five-star review with some writing behind it. I very much appreciate that. Email me at CoachMarkSingh at gmail.com. I'll send you the conversation sniper, 150 deadly one-liners for building attraction, guide to the female orgasm, how to make a woman look like a screaming demon that just got hit with a tornado, and three texts to build massive attraction in women, impress your friends, baffle your enemies.

22:44 I'll also put a statue of you in my backyard and let everyone behold the majesty of your face tattooed on my ass. All right, gentlemen, thanks again for listening, and I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.