What to Talk About With a Girl Immediately After You Approach (The O.Q.Q.P. Sequence)

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2:19 Now, this method is something that I created many years ago where I was teaching my clients how to open, and a lot of dating coaches will be like, dude, just say anything, okay? Just whatever, talk about anything, and that's what I'm inclined to tell you because that's really what works. What you guys need to understand is that when a woman first gets approached by you, she's on her back foot. She doesn't know what's happening. She doesn't know exactly why you're talking to her. She might have some ideas, but she's sitting there assessing you, and there's like a million things going through her head.

2:49 Who is this guy? What does he want? What is he going to try to get from me are typical questions that girls are going to ask themselves when you approach. So to have some amazing, gnarly, unbelievable opener that makes her laugh so hard she launches a snot rocket out of her nose and farts a little bit, you don't have to do that, dude. You can keep it super simple. In fact, sometimes I'll just ask basic questions so that she can get used to me. It's kind of like you're in the pen with the lion, and you just want the thing to get used to you being there.

3:18 You don't want to inundate it with all this information. You just want to be chill. But I'm going to give you what to say. I'm going to give you how to pry open conversations. And of course, boys, I almost have 500 episodes now. In fact, this is episode 498. Two more episodes, and I'm at 500. I have so much content about what to talk about with girls, how to get attraction. But this is the first few seconds, the first 30 seconds, I'd say, how to pry open the conversation. So back to my initial point, you don't have to have something so amazing.

3:50 I used to have this one opener, and you can steal it if you want to, where I would get this big ball of lint from my dryer. I'd stick it in my pocket, and I'd go out either day game or night game. I'd walk up to a girl, and I'd be like, hey, hey, real quick, just had to let you know, you have something in your hair right there. And she'd be like, where? Where is it? And I'd be like, do you mind if I grab it for you?

4:10 And she'd be like, sure. So I'd get the big ball of lint out of my pocket and pretend to grab it out of her hair and then say, here you go, and hand it to her. And with my other hand, I'd be like, that's $5, please. Now, that's a really rich, funny opener. That does work to some degree, but I've found through my vast experience that it's almost easier to keep it simple so, as I said, she can get used to you. Okay, we have lots of rich openers, and of course, I will still use those.

4:37 But oftentimes, it's just like, hey, what's up? Where are you from? And the basic shit that a lot of you guys do, the problem is that you don't transition into attraction building techniques. You keep doing the basic stuff. You keep asking her where she's from, what she does for fun, where she went to college, what her job is, in a very boring way that doesn't elicit attraction. So, what I'm here to tell you is, you can start a little bit, quote-unquote, boring, but eventually, you need to transition into those more interesting topics.

5:06 So, I'm going to give you a few rich things to say today, but again, don't inundate yourself with all this information. Just think to yourself, the most important thing is that I get comfortable opening, and I just approach her as an old friend. I assume familiarity, I'm cool with her, I let her know I'm not a threat, I'm very relaxed, I have a relaxed body language, my tonality is good, and I can talk about literally anything for the first 10, 15, 20, even 30 seconds. Then we start peppering in the attraction building techniques.

5:37 So, the OQQP method is basically this, open, question, question, pry. And when I say pry, it means pry open her answers to get onto a conversational tangent, a conversational thread that you can leverage and work on to be speaking with her. Okay, so an example. We have different openers that we can use. One of them is called the indirect approach. Indirect approach is basically like, hey, do you know where the watermelons are? Hey, where's the freeway around here? Where'd you get that Starbucks coffee? It's indirect.

6:09 You're just asking her a simple question. And this is always what I suggest my guys start with. I have my guys open and eject, as I always talk about in this podcast, where they'll go up to a girl, ask a question, and then eject. Eject before she can reject is something that I often say. Once they get enough practice with that and they're like, okay, Mark, I need more of a challenge, then we can go into what I call a direct approach. Direct approach is directly letting her know that you think she's cute.

6:36 Now, there is a third one. I'm going to explain that to you in a second. But the direct approach is, in my opinion, the best one because you're stating your intention. It basically goes like this. Hey, I saw you standing over here and I thought you were cute. Had to come meet you. My name's Mark. What's up? What's your name? As you stick out your hand to shake your hand. Or you could say, hey, I saw you standing over here and I thought you looked interesting.

6:56 Wanted to come introduce myself. My name's Mark. What's up? What's your name? Now, the third one is indirect to direct. You go up and you ask her a simple question. Where's the watermelons? Where's Starbucks? Where's the freeway? Then once she gives you the answer, then you can flip it into a direct approach. So, for example, you're in the supermarket, you see a really cute girl, and I don't know, she has some yogurt in her cart. You could go up and be like, hey, excuse me real quick.

7:21 Where'd you get the yogurt? I feel like they moved it. It used to be over there, but I'm not able to find it. Where is it? She tells you where it is. And then based on her reply, if she's really sweet, if she's really kind, she's trying to be helpful, and you want to then go for the direct approach, you say basically this. You know what? I appreciate you telling me where the yogurt was. I could have asked anybody, but I chose to ask you because I thought you were really cute.

7:43 Had to come meet you is the only thing I could think of to say, what's up? My name's Mark. What's your name? So, you first go up with an innocuous question. Where's Starbucks? Where are the watermelons? Where's the yogurt? And then you transition to a direct approach, which says, hey, I actually know where the yogurt is. I just wanted to meet you. Needed an excuse to talk to you because I thought you were really pretty. My name's Mark. What's up? What's your name? Now, when it comes to complimenting, you guys may have heard me say on my Instagram page, don't compliment girls on their looks.

8:10 This is the single time that I will recommend you do so. Just letting her know, I thought you were cute. And sometimes I'll even say, hey, I thought you were cute and wanted to come see if you were interesting, which is something I'll say, particularly in the nightclubs when I have a lot of value. Okay, so let's repeat what we've gone over because I know it's a lot of information. First of all, indirect approach. Where's the watermelons? Second of all, once you get used to indirect approach, direct approach.

8:36 Hey, I thought you were cute. Had to come meet you. My name's Mark. What's up? What's your name? Third choice, which is actually sometimes my favorite, is indirect to direct. So you can get a vibe on her. You can see what she's like. Get her buying temperature, if you will. If I ask her where the watermelons are and she's super bitchy to me, I'm probably not going to go into a direct approach, will I? And when you do a direct approach, let's not forget, it usually takes girls off guard.

9:00 They're like, oh my God, this guy's totally telling me I'm pretty and I don't know how to respond and I'm blushing and I'm all off guard. So then think about it. If you were then to come in with these amazing questions, these cold reads, these attraction building techniques, it's going to be a little bit much for her. So what I like to do is go up, ask an innocent question. Hey, where'd you get that bread? Cool. Hey, I could have asked anybody that, but I wanted to ask you because honestly, I thought you were really pretty.

9:25 My name is Mark. What's up? What's your name? Okay. Then that breaks open the conversation. So we have three options there. Indirect approach, direct approach, indirect to direct approach. Now, the big question that I know a lot of you guys want answered is, what do I say next? Okay. It's like, do you have some attracted building technique that's going to make her jump in the air and slide onto my dick? Or at the very least, grab my phone out of my hands, put her phone number in it and put the name sex machine because she wants to bang me so bad.

9:55 Boys, this isn't the time. And what that means is you're not trying to immediately build attraction beyond just making her calm, making her comfortable. In fact, and this is true, the way you behave and your own comfort is going to do way more for her attraction for you than some kind of awesome line at this time. The lines are coming. We're going to pepper them in there. But right now we're keeping it simple. We just want her relaxed. We want her to know we're not a threat.

10:23 And most importantly, we want her to know we're confident. If you were insecure about your open, you would immediately try to have some rich content to throw in, wouldn't you? If you were secure in yourself and your content and knowing that, yeah, it's coming. I got it there, but I'm not going to rush it. What does that sub communicate to her? It sub communicates that you feel like you're enough in yourself. You just talking to her and asking quote unquote boring questions is okay. So the QQ part of this formula, open, question, question, pry, is just that simple questions.

10:59 Back to the supermarket example. Let's say she's shopping, and I've done this many times. I go up to her and I say, hey, real quick, had to let you know. I thought you were pretty. Had to come meet you. My name is Mark. What's up? What's your name? And she's like, oh, oh, thank you. My name is Kelly. Hey, how's it going? I shake your hand. Real good. Real good. So what are you cooking us tonight? Okay, that's a question that you guys are going to ask.

11:21 And the reason I say, what are you cooking us? It's a little bit rich. It's a little bit funny. And it points to her cart because it's situational. You always want to ask questions that are situational. So if you approach a girl, even with the indirect approach, let's take an example of at the gym. You see a girl at the gym and you go up and you say what I typically say, hey, I've never met you before. Never seen you in here before. My name is Mark.

11:44 What's up? What's your name? Which is very innocuous. You're just a guy who goes and introduces himself to people. The next cue in the OQQP process would be, what are you working on today? Or where'd you get that outfit? I have an outfit just like that. Where are you trying to copy me or what? And she's wearing like Lululemon pants and like a crop top. That's something I like to say oftentimes, which is, hey, are you trying to copy me with your outfit? Where'd you get the outfit?

12:10 So the question comes based on the situation. You're at a nightclub. Have you guys ever been here before? What are you guys drinking? Where'd you guys park? There's like no parking in the city. Where'd you guys end up parking around here? Because I had to park like 60 blocks away. There's one bar I go to where it says coat check on the coat check area, but it looks like it says goat check. So sometimes, for example, I'll open and I'll talk to them and I'll say, hey, did you guys see that sign over there?

12:35 It looks like it says goat check. Come check your goat at the cowboy lounge before you come into the bar. And that's something you can observe and ask a question about. So the first question you ask, you're seeing if you can pry, which is the P part of this method, into a conversation that goes further. For example, I'm in the supermarket and I don't know, she's buying a bunch of yogurt, let's say, and there's a shit ton of yogurt in her cart. So I would go up and I would say, hey, you obviously have a lot of yogurt in your cart.

13:04 Where is the yogurt around here? I'm looking for it. And she says, oh, it's over there. Turn right up against the wall, whatever. And I say, you know what? I could ask anybody that, but clearly you're a yogurt professional because you got all this yogurt in your cart. And I'm going to admit to you, I thought you were cute. Had to come meet you. My name is Mark. What's up? What's your name? Shake your hand. And then you can say, so what's up with all the yogurt?

13:24 Why would somebody have that much? And she happens to say, oh, I'm a marine biologist. I'm going to create some sort of experiment with yogurt and the ocean. I don't know, guys. I'm coming up with this off the top of my head, which I feel creates better content because I didn't prepare any of this. And then you would say, oh, really? What's it like to study Marines? You know, I studied guys in the army for a while, but I've never studied Marines as a marine biologist.

13:47 What's it like to study Marines? And she's like, no, silly. I'm actually a marine biologist. I study oceans. And you'd be like, yeah, I'm just messing with you. So what made you want to do that? How does somebody become a marine biologist anyway? So now you've pried open the conversation. And that's your objective is to open question, question. You're just asking her questions about her outfit, about the environment, about where she came from, about maybe even where she's from. If she has an accent, how much she's worked out here before, does she do this hobby often?

14:19 Why is she buying XYZ thing? Any kind of situational question, that's the cue part of this. When she answers it, then you want to pry it open. With the marine biologist example, right? I made a joke about her studying Marines, which I thought was pretty funny. She's a biologist of the Marine Corps. And that would make her laugh. I would then say, no, real talk. What made you want to become a marine biologist? That's really interesting. Then she tells me some things about it. I pry open what she talks about and throw in some other attraction building gambits.

14:51 For example, cold reading. She's talking about being a marine biologist and how she does this, that, and the third. She's in the lab. She does whatever, whatever. Or she leads a team of other marine biologists and they're going to the ocean tomorrow to study this coral reef kind of thing, whatever it is. You'd be like, you know, as you're talking, I kind of get a feeling about you that you're really nice on the outside. Like you're super easy to talk to. But deep inside, I bet you're not to be fucked with, huh?

15:17 So if one of your students messed with you or disrespected the reef, because you know you hate that disrespect of the reef, you would just completely tear them a new one, wouldn't you? Now, that's a cold read that I've thrown in as an attraction building technique, which is the P part of this process. Open, question, question, pry. And what I mean is pry, open the conversation to throw in those attraction building techniques. So what you're doing with the two Qs or three Qs or four Qs is basically trying to give yourself some content.

15:50 Now, in my teaching, I talk a lot about what to answer when a girl asks you, what do you do for a living? What do you do for fun? Where are you from? Where'd you go to college? I have really rich answers to those questions. So the way to get her to ask those questions to me is for me to ask those questions to her first. So perhaps during our conversation where I'm asking her about what it's like to be a marine biologist, the conversation dies because I expect her to ask me what I do.

16:18 Now, this is a huge attraction building technique. You guys know what I say, or you should know what I say. I always tell girls that I'm an ass model. I'm a famous ass model. My ass is on billboards all over the nation. It's famous in seven continents. During no point of this conversation will you pinch my butt, young lady, because if I get a bruise on this amazing piece of work, I'll be out of a job. She laughs and then I said, nah, just kidding. I'm actually an NLP coach.

16:42 Do you know what NLP is? She says, no. Then I tell the story about how I used to have panic attacks in Japan and how NLP is the thing that got me over it. It works so well that now I teach other guys how to do that. I build confidence, self-esteem, remove and replace belief systems. I'm basically an NLP coach. Now, from a basic conversation of me going up and asking her where the yogurt is, now I've been able to add in a bunch of rich content from the OQQP method.

17:11 Open, question, question, pry. Now we're talking about different things going on a conversational thread. She takes what I asked her and asks it back to me. I have rich answers that gets her more attracted to me. And then you yank a phone number just that easily. So the QQ part of this process needs to be already in your head before you approach the girl. So here's what I want you guys to do, because I know a lot of you guys cherry pick this content and you're like, oh, this sounds great.

17:39 Maybe one day I'll try it. And then you never do it. I want to get you guys to try it. And that's the big benefit of coming to work with me personally is because I'm going to hold you accountable. I'm going to make you try this shit. But for those of you who are a little scared, you're not ready yet. Here's what you do. Next time you're in public, just look at a girl and ask yourself, what would I ask her? What would be the questions I'd ask her?

18:00 She's wearing a really interesting outfit. I could say, hey, I'm shopping for my sister for her birthday. Where'd you get those shoes? There's a question I could ask her. I could ask her where something is in the supermarket. I could ask her why she has a backpack like that. That thing is crazy. Where'd you get that thing? There's all kinds of observational things I could ask her, not only about her, but also about the situation at hand. Did you hear about the robbery that happened in the men's locker room at the gym?

18:27 Did you hear about how that guy was arrested at Walmart the other day? If you're talking to her at Walmart, there's always situations pertaining to the environment you're in to which you can ask her the cues about, break open the conversation, keep it going. Another reason I really like the direct approach is because you can find out very fast if she has a boyfriend or not. They'll usually just tell you. So instead of trying to go indirect and like around the barn, as it were, to get in the back door, you're just going frontally and you're saying, hey, I thought you were cute.

18:55 Had to come meet you. My name's Mark. What's up? What's your name? And then she says, oh, I'm Amanda. Oh my God. I'm so flattered. Then you're like, hey, what's up with all the yogurt? What are you cooking us tonight? Like a yogurt parfait or what are you making us? And this is part of the reason that I like to open girls in the supermarket is because I'm always looking in their cart and asking a question about what it is that's in their cart. But you can do this anywhere, boys, at the gas station.

19:17 Ask her if that pump still works because last week it was broken. At Starbucks, ask her what drink is best. What drink do you recommend? I've never been here before. At the gym, ask her what exercise that is. Or tell her, as I often do, watch out for that machine. It blew out my butt last week and I'm still limping from that thing. In fact, I think that killed six people last week. So be very careful. There's always rich content you can throw in when you just approach.

19:42 So when you guys approach, I want you to have a couple questions ready to go and be ready to pry open the conversation with your extremely good conversational abilities. Now that begs the question, well, Mark, I don't have good conversational abilities. I'm a schlep. I'm a fucking sea donkey. I go into screensaver mode. I can't even talk. It's easy for you, Mark. You have a podcast and you ramble on like a goddamn village idiot on your podcast time after time. You've done 500 episodes, you moron. In a little bit, I have to agree with you.

20:10 But I want to ask you, do you think I was always good at this? Do you think I was always good at just thinking off the cuff? When a girl says marine biologist, I can quickly flip it in my head and say, what's it like to study guys in the Marine Corps? No, that comes from practice and even just practicing with yourself. So the next time you're out and about, a very simple assignment is look at a girl, ask yourself, what questions would I ask her?

20:34 Then say to yourself, what if she said this? What would I say to that? What if she said this? What would I say to that? And have mock conversations in your head. Another thing you can do is talk to people who don't matter. Grandpas, grandmas, kids, whoever, just to practice your conversational abilities, your ability to ask questions that matter and pry open conversations based on their answers. This is all really important. So the OQQP method is one of the most important things you can master when it comes to cold approach.

21:04 When approaching a woman, it's your job to carry the conversation. You do so by asking a couple of questions. Then we start throwing in the rich attraction building content, which of course, boys, is available in my podcast anthology. I have now 498 episodes, soon to be 500. Go through them. I literally have titles that say attraction building technique. Just search that in the search bar and things will come up. Then you're going to add arrows into your quiver to where the next time you approach a girl, you're going to know how to open the conversation, how to ask questions correctly, how to pry it open into attraction building gambits, how to get her attracted to you, and how to yank a phone number.

21:42 It's just that easy. But it does take practice. So I challenge you guys to go out and not only practice, but also just practice in your head and ask, what would I say to that girl? You should be constantly asking yourself that. And then one day you'll actually do it. And of course, if you come into my three-month coaching program, we're going to make you do it. We're going to make you have tons of interactions. And that's honestly what some of you guys need. You need that accountability.

22:06 You need partners going into the battle with you shoulder to shoulder as brothers. And that's what we offer in the program, including NLP, including all my lessons curated for you, including the Brotherhood Facebook group, coaching calls, an entire brotherhood that's coming together to get you the results that you really want with women. If you'd like to talk to us about that more, sign up at the link below, coachmarkcing.com forward slash coaching, fill in the quick application, and you and I are going to email back and forth.

22:33 You'll get on a call with my partner, Victor Lynch, to discuss if we can at least 10X your results with women. But take what I said here, boys, and go practice it. It's one of the most important things you'll ever learn when it comes to getting good with women. I do appreciate you listening. I draw a podcast on Mondays and Thursdays, so please stay tuned for the next one. And I will see you in the next episode.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.