Why you should NEVER SELL YOURSELF to Women

0:00 Welcome to the Unapologetic Man Podcast, the only podcast that's all about self-improvement, confidence, success, women, and being a man without making any apologies for it. What is up, guys? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the UMP. I really do appreciate you. And today, we're going to talk about why you, brother, should never sell yourself to a woman, a mistake that you and I have both made so many times. How many times have we sold ourselves to a woman? This is my resume. This is why I'd be great for you.

0:34 I'm going to treat you so well. Girls have always told me that I treat them absolutely fantastically. I treat them like gold. Therefore, you should come out with me. I have this much money. My dick is this big. I got so much girth down there in the pants. When we have sex, it's going to be like giving birth to a trionosaurus rex. You are trying to explain yourself to these chicks, bro, and it is the wrong fucking thing to do. Before I jump into the content, I want to tell you guys once again that my free one-on-one breakthrough session is available.

1:06 I've been getting so many awesome applicants. Each time one of your champions comes through the door, I'm super stoked. And I just keep meeting really great guys, guys who have awesome jobs, guys who have awesome lives, guys who are super motivated. And even if you don't meet all those qualifications, I still want to meet you, brother, because I'll tell you what, if you vibe with me, I know I'm going to vibe with you. Every time I get on a call with one of these dudes, I'm like, God bless America.

1:32 This guy's like my best friend and we hit it off like no tomorrow. Not everybody likes my podcast, but if you like it, it's because you and I vibe. We just are on the same wavelength. We're cut from the same jib, my friend. We're cut from the same cloth. So if you want to meet with me, talk about if you're a good fit for my three-month coaching program, if you're sick and tired of being alone in bed, of getting put in the friend zone, of not being able to attract the quality women that you want, but only getting like five sixes and sevens.

2:06 And you're like, God bless. I'm so sick of these Canyon mules. I want to step it up to the really high quality women. And by the way, Canyon mule doesn't only refer to her looks. There's beautiful girls that are Canyon mules too, because they have horrible personalities and guys too. Guys are more like sea basses or douche canoes, but those girls out there who absolutely suck are the Canyon mules and the river buzzards. Those chicks are horrible. We want a girl who's not only attractive, but also has a great personality, has her shit together.

2:33 And you have to start with you. You have to have shit together. You have to have had to address your fears, to address your issues, to remap your self-esteem. And we do that with NLP, which is a central tenant to my program. But enough about me, brother. Let's talk about you and why you should never qualify yourself to a woman. All right. So what is qualifying? Qualifying is explaining yourself, selling yourself, trying to convince her logically that you're a great guy, that you have a resume that is going to satisfy all her needs and you're going to be the best husband, boyfriend, father, caretaker, caregiver that she's ever had.

3:10 Well, what happens when you try to sell yourself to somebody? What happens when you try to tell people how amazing you are? What does it look like? It looks like you don't think you're enough just by virtue of you standing there and just by virtue of your personality and your presence. It feels to them like you have to explain yourself because you're not good enough and you want to qualify. You want to explain. You want to build yourself up so that you can feel good enough for them.

3:41 So when a woman asks you to explain yourself to her, she's doing this to try to test you. Okay. Most of the time it's a test. Some of the times it's genuine. And in my episode about the number one misunderstanding about frame control, I address this very specifically, but a quick recap is in order. Okay. So a woman is going to test you. She wants to see how big your balls are. She wants to see if you're an alpha male or if you're just a beta cuck fluffer.

4:11 So she's going to ask you certain questions. One of them is to try to get you to sell yourself to her. Now, guys who sell themselves to women are beta cucks because again, they don't feel like they're enough. Guys who flip it on them and make them explain themselves to him are the ones who win the game. And we're going to get into that in a second. So the reason they do this, the reason they try to get you to sell yourselves to them is because they're feeling some incongruence with you.

4:42 They're feeling like, yeah, he's charismatic. He's funny. He seems pretty confident, but I don't know. So they may ask you something like, so what do you do for a job? What kind of car do you drive? Are you a good guy? Are you honest? Do you treat girls well? They may ask you these kinds of things. Now it's up to you to decipher whether or not this is a test, but most of the time it's going to be a test. If it's an innocent question, and when I say innocent question, it usually comes down to tonality or sometimes on the dating apps, they'll ask this because they're genuinely interested.

5:09 On the dating apps, it's a little bit harder to decipher, but I'd say 80% of the time it's a test. Okay. So she asked you, so what's great about you? Like, tell me about yourself. What's great about you? And you start selling yourself to her. You say, well, I do this for a job. I make this much money. I drive this kind of car. I treat girls really well. I'm a great kisser. My dick is so big that when you have sex with me, it's going to be like masturbating with your favorite gigantic deldo.

5:35 When you start doing that shit, she's losing respect for you. Okay. So as a general principle, guys, never, ever under any circumstance, try to sell yourself to a woman, try to sell yourself to her. It looks low value again, because it communicates subconsciously that you don't feel like you're enough, that you have to convince her. This is the same exact thing as buying a woman a drink, which I talked about in a previous episode as well. Why do we never buy women drinks? If you don't know the answer to this, you should.

6:08 And here it is. The answer is because you don't feel like you're enough to keep her there with your conversation, with your presence, with your social ability. So instead you buy her a drink in order to buy her time and keep her there because you bought her a drink. It communicates the same thing. So the second you start explaining yourself, the second you start showing off to her, the second you dangle your keys with the Ferrari emblem on them to try to prove to her that you're good enough, the lower value you look.

6:36 Like guys who try to impress women, and listen, guys, women know when you're trying to impress them. They know when you're trying to show off. They know when you're trying to embed in the first three sentences that you're a lawyer or a doctor or an extremely successful entrepreneur and you have a lot of money. They can sense it. That's why in storytelling, which I talk about a lot on this podcast as well, as well as in my three-month coaching program, we do a deep dive on storytelling.

7:05 That's why in storytelling, you want to sometimes use self-deprecating humor. And while you are embedding those high value traits, you don't want to make it look too obvious. Because when you try to impress a woman, she can sense it. She knows what you're trying to do. You basically put all your cards on the table and you're basically telling her that you don't feel you're enough. In fact, when a woman tries to make me qualify myself to her, I flip it and I tell her all the reasons I'm not great.

7:33 Now, this sounds completely counterintuitive, but look at what that communicates. That communicates, I don't give a fuck what you think. I'm not trying to impress you. I'm actually a fucking sea donkey. And when I do it, I do it in a funny way. Okay. So for example, she asks me, what's great about you beyond your looks? Or what's great about you? What's so cool about you? I'd be like, well, sometimes it's really cool. When I breathe, my nose whistles. And it's really cool because it keeps like this constant beat.

8:00 And I really enjoy it throughout my day. It's like a soundtrack to the story of my life. And then it makes her laugh. Okay. So she tried to make me jump through a hoop by explaining myself to her. I flipped it on her and I made it funny. And I didn't explain myself to her because I'm communicating, dude, I think I'm enough. I don't need to prove to you that I'm enough. I don't give a shit what you think. You're the one submitting the application. So here's a funny reply.

8:26 Now, what I may do as well as I'd be like, well, my nose whistles when I breathe and it's freaking awesome because I have a constant soundtrack to my life. But actually, you know what? The real question is, what's good about you beyond your looks? You're obviously really pretty, but what's cool about you? Now, if you have a stronger frame than she does, here we go again with frame control. You guys know how much I love that. If you have a stronger frame than she does, she's going to jump through your hoop.

8:50 Okay. So again, the basic principle, if you take one thing away from this episode, let it be this. Never under any circumstance, sell yourself to a woman. Never explain yourself to a woman. And if you do so, do it in a joking manner. Okay. But you always want her to sell herself to you. This is called qualifying. And it's something that we do very intentionally once we get two to three, four signs of attraction. Okay. What are signs of attraction? I'll repeat it again. I do this all the time for you guys.

9:22 Licking her lips, leaning in, laughing at jokes that aren't funny, general deer in the headlights look, dilated pupils, flushed cheeks, getting close to you, open body language, asking you questions about yourself, flipping her hair, grabbing your penis. These are all signs of attraction. Okay. So you get those, then you qualify her, which is exactly what I just explained. You ask her, what's good about you beyond your looks? You ask her, what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? You ask her, are you a good kisser?

9:57 Would you get into kissing university? If you applied, you ask her questions to get her to sell herself to you. But brother, when she asks you those same questions back, I'm going to get into a few caveats in a second. But generally when she asks you those same questions, you avoid it and you don't answer them. All right. Now the caveat. Okay. Let's say for example, you ask her, so what's the coolest thing about you besides your looks? Or you ask her, what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you?

10:26 And she says, well, I'm really genuine and I really work hard for my friends. And you know, I'm a, I'm a great cook and I'm really good at cuddling. Okay. She explains all these things to you. At that point, do you think you should reward or punish that behavior? You're right. You're a smart motherfucker. You should always reward behavior when a woman does what you want her to do. Okay. And again, another very general principle. She jumps through your hoop, you reward it. You genuinely say to her, you know what?

10:55 That's pretty cool. I actually really respect that. Okay. So you genuinely say that give her a compliment. And then what I'll do is what's called a false disqualifier. And this works into push pull. We're getting kind of advanced. If you want to learn about push pull, listen to my episodes about it. But generally speaking, every time you do a poll, which is a compliment, you know what? That's pretty cool. I really respect that about you. High five. I'm a high fiver. That's technically a poll. I'll also do a push.

11:21 Now a push is a false disqualifier, which means you're disqualifying her falsely. And I'll say something like, you just went up 20 points in my book. You are now at negative 80. Congratulations with a wink and a smile. Okay. So what's good about you beyond your looks or what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? Getting the signs of attraction. You ask that question. She says, Oh, I'm really loyal. One time I picked up my friend whose car was broken down in the desert.

11:52 I drove two hours to go get her. I feel like I'm really genuine and I really care for my friends. You give her a genuine compliment. You know what? It's really cool. I really respect that about you. A lot of girls don't have that integrity. So to know that you have that is fucking awesome. You just went up 20 points in my book. You're now at negative 80. Congratulations. And she laughs, smacks you on the arm. Gigantic attraction. Now she many times will ask you the same question.

12:17 Well, what's good about you beyond your looks or what would your best friend say is the coolest thing about you? Now, the fact that she just jumped through your hoop and answered the question, do you think you can answer it? Yes or no. You're right. You can answer it. But I'll first do the joke that I explained earlier. My nose whistles when I breathe. I've been mastering night hearing lately. I can actually hear at night and it's freaking awesome. I'm an amazing sleeper. When I get in that G spot, I just dip into the ether and I can sleep for hours.

12:52 I'm awesome at standing. Here, check this out. Ready? Did you see that? Did you see that? I was just so good at standing. Did you see it? She cracks up. After you do that, then you can answer a question. Well, to be honest with you, you know what? Actually, I have a lot of honor as well. And then I tell a story perhaps about how I helped a friend or I rescued a cat or whatever it is based on that virtue that I said is good about me.

13:15 But never jump through a hoop before she jumps through yours. And this goes back to the concept of requests, which is something I've talked a little bit about in this podcast. I talk a lot about it in my coaching, which is when she asks you for a favor, you have her do a favor for you first. Okay. So if she blatantly comes out before you ever ask her a qualifying question, she asks you a qualifying question, you avoid it. You avoid it. You make a joke.

13:45 You don't fucking answer it. If she keeps pressing, flipping on her. Say, well, you know what? Before I answer that, the real question is, I want to know about you. What about you? And if you have a strong enough frame, you can get her to answer it first. Some girls will resist it, but the vast majority, I'd say 90% will answer it. Once they answer it, you reward it. You say, you know what? That's really cool. I respect that. Then you do a false disqualifier. You just went up 30 points in my book.

14:10 You're now at negative 70,633.6. She'll be like, what was the point six for? You could say your nose whistles when you breathe. Ha ha ha. Then you guys are having a good vibe. Then she asks you the same question. You make a joke. I mastered night hearing. I'm entering the world blinking championships. Watch. I'm going to blink a hundred times right now. Did you see that? No, you didn't because I just blinked a hundred times so fast you couldn't even see it. I'm the blinking champion of 2022.

14:37 You'll never be as good at blinking as I am. Now, this guy's, by the way, is something I usually say in the nightclubs. In day game, it's a little bit different, but I'll still fuck around it this way. Girls just want to have fun. Okay. So you joke with her and then you can answer the question genuinely, but there's never the trying to sell yourself vibe to it. It's basically knowing that you're the shit and just explaining that to her. It's like with my free breakthrough session, my three month coaching program, you guys can sense that I'm not really trying to sell it to you so much as just the fact that I fucking believe in it.

15:09 I'm like, bro, this shit is the shit. You would be a complete lunatic unless you came and signed up with this. What the fuck? Why aren't every single one of you guys doing this? I don't get it. It's that kind of vibe. It's not like, hey guys, I just want to let you know my coaching is really good. Check out my testimonials. I swear it's good. It's great. That kind of bullshit. You never sign up, but I'm like, yo, bro, this is the shit. This fucking fixes all my guys' problems.

15:37 Every dude who signs up, every dude who goes to the program gets laid. This is the shit. It's like a big party. We're all brothers. There's a community. Are you kidding me? You would be an idiot unless you came and joined us, right? It's like that kind of vibe. Well, when I speak to a woman and this is the way I want you to speak to women too, bro, you know you're the shit. You're fucking working on yourself. You're a legend. You're moving into pain willingly.

16:04 You're anti-fragile. You're a Spartan, dude. You got the warrior within you. This girl would be an idiot unless she wanted to date you. And so when you're talking to her, that's the vibe that's portrayed. There's not like, oh, I'm great. Like, trust me. It'll be great. You'll have fun. I swear. Like that kind of shit that beta cut fluffers do. No, you're not a beta cut fluffer. You're a fucking Spartiate, bro. You're in the sacred band shoulder to shoulder with me fighting in the trenches. Your shield is covering mine, dude.

16:31 50 shields deep, 1,000 across. Heaven shining brother, skyborne hero, Apollo far striker, protector of Sparta, Thebes, and Herculaneum. Invite the enemy to this mill of murder. All right, I go on a tangent. I love that shit. But bro, like, you know you're a fucking legend. You know you're a champion. So it's like, dude, chick, I don't have to fucking explain myself to you. You want to explain yourself to me? That's cool. I'm not going to explain myself to you. But when I do, it's in a way it's like, yeah, this is how I am.

17:01 Here's a story because you answered my question. But if she tries to get you to sell yourself to her right off the bat, or if you feel yourself going down that slippery slope of trying to explain yourself to a woman, pull back. Don't do it. You are enough. Finally, my final point is the truth will always reveal itself. Okay, so even if you are banking, you have a sick car, you have a sick apartment, you have an awesome life, you have a six pack, which is like something that us guys who have six packs, we kind of like want them to know, right?

17:32 Because like, it's not always so obvious. Like, oops, my shirt came up. Oh, what's that? I got fucking gills down by my Adonis belt. Oops, you just happen to see that. Girls know when you're trying to do that shit. So just let the truth reveal itself in its own time. Kind of keep those cards for later, right? Like if you have like a BMW, a Mercedes, a Ferrari, a Bugatti, or some kind of sick car, and you don't mention it in the first conversation, and you pick her up in that car, do you understand how much more powerful that is than say like, Oh, yeah, like I took my Bugatti to the mechanic yesterday.

18:05 It was like five grand just to change the oil. Oh, my God, so stupid. But I'm rich, bro. So I was like, yeah, whatever. Let me just look in my back pocket. Oh, there's five grand here. Yeah, just pay with this bad Jackson right here. Yeah, it's pretty cool being rich. Anyway, so I got a really big dick and I do have a six pack and my 401k, it's bustling. And girl, I'll tell you what, I'll treat you like gold. We'll go to Dubai. I'll buy you dinner.

18:27 I'll give you a foot massage. And I'm going to be the best guy that you've ever dated your entire life, girl. I swear, girl, come on now, girl. Doesn't work, bro. Doesn't work. Just be like, nah, dude, you shouldn't be with me. I'm a two pump chomp. And I do this all the time, guys. I'm the one dip, skip the two pump chomp. I'm rocking the angry inch. He's angry, but he'll get you. They fucking laugh and they know because I make fun of myself how I'm horrible in bed because I have a small dick.

18:54 They know it's not true. And that's how self-deprecating humor works. Never sell yourself to a woman. Do the opposite. Be like, oh, we so wouldn't be good together. Like you're an Aquarius. I'm a Pisces. Those two don't get along. We just fight all the time. Goodbye. We're broken up now, but it really sucks because you're so cute. See that push pull I just did. So that's how you do it, boys. Never sell yourself to a woman. Always get her to sell herself to you. And one final of the final point, always try to get her to extend effort towards you.

19:23 Because as I've talked about cognitive dissonance, when a woman works for you, or if human beings work for anything, they value it more. And therefore, she'll get more attracted to you. So if you can get her to drive to you rather than you drive to her, way better. If you can get her to make you dinner, excellent. If you can get her to rub your back, perfect. If you could get her to sick the duck, that's what you want. The more you get her to qualify herself, the more you get her to sell herself, the more you get her to work for you, and the less you do it towards her, the more you're winning.

19:56 So keep that in mind, brother. It's going to really improve your game. All right, gentlemen, I do appreciate you listening. Once again, if you want to get on that free one-on-one breakthrough session, if you had a couple chuckles or a couple aha moments during this episode, then I know you and I would jive, and you would definitely enjoy yourself as I always do on those breakthrough calls. So you can sign up by going to my website, CoachMarkSingh.com. Click on coaching, fill in the goddamn slap in the biscuit, and you and I will get on that one-on-one coaching call together.

20:24 You can also click the link in the description below, which my champion podcast editor, Liam. What is up, Liam? Big salute to you, brother. Always puts in his awesome descriptions. Liam, you're killing it, man. I always attract. I always get these awesome people in my life. It's amazing, man. I'm just an attraction magnet, and I want to attract you, bro. The guy listening, I'm attracting you to sign up. Come on, man. Put in the fucking application. I want to meet you, bro. I'm trying to attract you so I can teach you all my secrets about how to flip attraction hot switches in women's heads so that you can get the life that you want when it comes to dating and not end up on your deathbed with regrets, which to me was the biggest motivator for me to get this part of my life fixed.

21:09 So if you're ready, sign up. We'll get on that call. See if you're a good fit, and if you are, buy condoms, brother. Everything's about to change. All right, gentlemen, I drop podcasts on Mondays and Thursdays, so make sure to stay tuned for the next one, and I will see you, that's right, in the next episode. Bye-bye.

This transcript was made automatically, so a few words may be off.