The first conversation is when a woman decides whether or not she’s attracted to you.
If you do well then your foot’s in the door.
If you blow it then your chances of seducing her go way down.
This tutorial is structured around a conversation I had with a really hot girl just today.
I’ll outline the interaction.
Then I’ll explain the principles of building attraction in 5 easy steps.
My example pick-up went down at the grocery store.
Why a grocery store?
Because “day game” also has its advantages.
You don’t have to yell over loud music.
Women aren’t as defensive.
And you can meet women of any age and lifestyle.
Good Places to Meet Women:
- Grocery stores
- Book stores
- Coffee shops
- Sporting events
- movie theaters
- Gas stations
- retail stores
- Flea markets
- Yoga studios
- Ski slopes
- The DMV
- That knitting class you love so much
The opportunities are endless when you open your mind.
You need to realize that nearly every place you go is another opportunity to meet a hot girl.
OK, so let’s jump into it….
Step by Step Breakdown of my Conversation
First, when I got into the grocery store I grabbed a teddy bear off the shelf.
I always do this because it’s part of one of the best openers my team has ever created for supermarket pick up…
I also shop at a supermarket that’s notorious for having hot girls.
Needless to say, you should go where your type of women hang out.
I saw this really cute blonde girl in the cereal aisle.
When she wasn’t looking, I put the bear in the top section of her cart.
Then I walked to the end of the isle.
When she saw the bear she immediately looked around.
She saw me, and then I gave her a smile and walked off.
I knew which way she was going, so I planned to run into her a few aisles down.
I also knew that she’d put the bear on the shelf (that’s what you do when someone puts something in your cart that you don’t want).
When I saw her again, I walked up and said:
Me: “I can’t believe you threw away the present I gave you. After all we’ve been through. I’m completely heartbroken.”
She laughed and said what most girls say:
Her: “Well, things haven’t been going well in our relationship lately, I thought it was time that we moved on.”
Me: “You’re right. And the last time we fought you jumped off the bed and kicked me in the face. You and your anger issues…”
Her: “Oh my god, that’s so not true, it was all your fault.”
Me: “Na, I’m renaming you Sargent Hater.”
Her: “Ha ha ha, No, I’m a good person. I don’t like mean people.”
Me: “Well, I’m only friends with trustworthy people, so if I lend you my car you’re not gonna go drifting it through the parking lot are you?”
Her: “Oh no way, I’ll have it back better than before.”
Me: “Oh cool, so you detail cars too, huh? Awesome, high five, you’re like my best friend now.”
Her: “Shut up, you’re a dork.”
Me: “So hey, I actually have to get out of here to meet my friend for a movie. While we’re talking, do you know if they have those movie theaters around here where you sit down in a recliner and they bring you food and stuff?
Her: “Yeah, I think they do. My friend was telling me about it. Those sound really awesome.”
Me: “Yeah, it’s a genius idea, isn’t it? I’m seriously going to take all my money and invest in those theaters. Tell you what, you throw in 60 grand and I’ll throw in 3 grand and we’ll split the profits 50/50. Deal? Deal!”
Her: “Shut up. So is this what you do to all the girls”
Now this is an important point…
When they say this it usually means they’re getting attracted.
They’re attracted but nervous that you’re a player.
So they say this as a defense mechanism.
Me: “Only the girls who seem fun and adventurous. You’re not boring are you?
Her: “C’mon, look at me, I’m fun.”
Me: “Is that what you say to all the guys.” (as I winked at her).
I get to use this turn around in about a quarter of my conversations.
Her: “Only the guys who are fun and adventurous.”
Me: “Ha ha GOOD ANSWER. Seriously though, what’s your deal? Who are you?”
Her: “I’m Sarah, I’m from here. I do this. And I’m going to school.”
Me: “Oh yeah, what are you studying?”
Her: “I’m pre-med. I want to be a pediatrician”
Me: “Woah, that’s really impressive. Most people just settle. I respect you for stepping up and going after what you really want.”
Her: “Thank you. I’ve always wanted it, so it’s meant to happen. I just have a passion for kids.”
Me: “I like kids, too. They’re awesome for tossing into trash cans. No, I’m just kidding, I’m really close to my nephews and nieces. It’s crazy how genuine kids are, ya know?”
Her: “Yeah, they’re amazing. They haven’t been tainted yet.”
Me: “Yeah exactly. Well, I have to get going. But you’re fun. Why don’t you toss me your number and we’ll catch up some other time?”
Her: “Sounds good. It’s 555…”
When she gave me her number I said:
Me: “Btw, I’m Mark, it’s good to meet you, Sarah.”
And I shook her hand in a real genuine way.
While doing this, I hit “call” on my phone to call her.
It rang and I told her to go ahead and pick it up.
Then I said:
Me: “I think someone really special is calling you, you should probably take it” (making it obvious that I was the one calling her).
Me: “Yeah, this is Mark. I just met this girl in the supermarket but I think she might be a little weird. I don’t know what to do. Do you think I should text her sometime?”
Her: “I don’t know, that’s up to you, she might be too much for you to handle.”
Me: “Yeah, she seems pretty feisty. But honestly, I kind of like that. I’m going to text her… maybe. BTW, tell Sarah I said no calls after 1am. I get enough of those as it is…”
Her: “ha ha see you later. Have a good night.”
Then I hugged her by saying:
Me: “Come here, give me a hug goodbye.”
The Following Video Will Teach You How to Talk to Girls You See During the Day
2 Important Principles When Talking to Girls
A lot of our students think that the first conversation has to be some long, drawn out interaction.
But that’s not true.
In fact, you can get phone numbers within seconds.
As a general rule however, the more time you invest, the more likely it is to stick.
But it’s important to:
1) keep the vibe up
2) Leave her on a high note
This conversation was on the shorter side.
But it was the perfect conversation to blueprint because it had all the steps to take before going for her phone number.
What to Text Her to Keep The Conversation Going
If I choose to text her I’ll do it with something that points back to our initial conversation.
I might say:
“I invested all my money into that movie theater idea. I promised them you’d be investing all your money, too. Great, huh?”
“I found the Teddy Bear I gave you in a gutter with his ear ripped off. Now I’m on the corner of my bed … in the cannonball position … crying like a schoolgirl…”
This will make her laugh.
It will remind her of who I am without actually having to say it.
And it will let her text back with a fun reply.
She also has my number in her phone since I called her.
And that opens the door for her to text me first (which is great because it puts me in the power position).
The Exact Steps to Take in Attraction Building Conversations
Now that we’ve laid a solid foundation, let’s go over the step by step structure of talking to girls.
Step 1) The Conversation Starter:
In my conversation you may have noticed that I used a pick up line.
But I prefer the term “conversation starter.”
These are important to get your foot in the door.
Then I did some “stacking.”
Step 2) Stack:
This means you say another question or statement that keeps the conversation going.
First, I did the ice breaker opener.
I said: “I can’t believe you threw away my present”
Then I did the question opener about the movie theaters when the first thread died.
Using openers in this way is an effective way to initially get your foot in the door.
And then to maintain conversation momentum when the previous topic wanes.
Step 3) Use a False Time Constraint:
False time constraints are statements that let her know you’re not going to talk to her for a long time.
They are added to the conversation early.
And they are great to lower her defenses.
Here are some things you can say that are false time constraints:
- “I have to get out of here in a minute”
- “I only have a second”
- “I’m meeting a friend here in a second, but…”
Step 4) Make the Conversation PLAYFUL
When most guys go into an interaction with the woman they try to build commonalities.
They ask such questions as:
- “Where do you work?”
- “Where do you live?”
- “How old are you?”
- “What do you do for fun?”
- “Where did you go to school?”
But that is the exact opposite of what you should do.
Think of the first conversation as two kids messing around in the schoolyard.
The best way to build attraction is to do things like:
- Tease her
- Make jokes
- Role play
- Find silly reasons why you wouldn’t get along
- Misunderstand what she says to mean something else
When you do these things you do it playfully.
You tease her with a fun, joking vibe.
You never want to hurt her feelings.
But you want to have a playfully combative vibe.
Remember what I did when she said she said she wants to become a Pediatrician?
I said: “Yeah, I love kids too. They’re great for throwing into trash cans.”
That was a playful, fun way to tease her.
And it works.
As a side note…
Many girls don’t offer up much in the way of conversation.
In fact, sometimes it’s like pulling teeth.
They’ll be that way in the beginning because they’re shields are up.
Don’t be offended.
Just press on.
Eventually they’ll start opening up.
How to Make Conversations With Girls Playful!
Step 5) Qualify Her
Before I asked for her phone number I had her work for me.
If you take her phone number and she only said 20 words that’s not good.
“Why does he like me?
Oh, he must only want to have sex with me.
I won’t call him.”
This is especially true for really attractive women.
It’s for this reason that it’s ideal to make her work for you.
This is called “Qualifying.”
I used the “who are you?” qualifier.
Then I told her I was impressed she’s becoming a pediatrician.
If she starts trying to sell herself to you…
If she tells you why she’s great.
And why you should like her.
Then you know she is attracted to you.
That’s what happened with Sarah.
So I knew that I was safe to go for her phone number.
Remember, you have to make sure she’s attracted to you before you qualify her.
Some Other Qualifying Questions Are:
- “So, what’s good about you beyond your looks?”
- “If you had to name 3 good things about you, what would the first one be?”
- “The way to my heart is through cooking, are you a
- good cook?”
- “What would your best friend say is the best thing about you?”
With these strategies in your back pocket you’ll find much more success when talking to girls.
What to do next:
- Grab my free cheat sheet that provides the most important core elements of approaching women without fear. This is great to have in your back pocket when you’re out meeting women: https://coachmarksing.com
- Check out my article “How to attract a woman” for a bunch of great ways to get girls more attracted to you.
- Listen to my Podcast: The Unapologetic Man Podcast for more amazing tips for how to talk to girls.
- Check out my coaching offer. I use NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) to reprogram the negative wiring in my client’s heads and make them more attractive to women.